Am I normal?

[frckl82]

I have never accessed a forum like this before but I have no idea what else to try at this stage.
I am almost 31 with a little boy who is 1 and a half, happily married for 3 years.
However, I feel I have this constant weight hanging over me as I feel I am becoming increasingly more sure that I don't want another baby. I adore my son like nothing else in the world, but I have constantly felt overwhelmed with being a parent, the decisions, the uncertainty, the guilt, and at one point the complete loss of knowing who I was anymore, although I do feel like I've begun to get a little bit of that back.
I know my husband would like more children and I feel as though everyone is expecting us to have more. Besides that I am wondering whether its fair to my son to never experience having siblings, will I be taking something away from him.
I just feel as though I can't come out and say all this to my husband and its affecting our intimacy as I am constantly worried that I will get pregnant again (even though I am on the pill, so I know thats mostly an irrational fear, although somewhat possible).
I just don't feel that I have enough in me to go through it all again (pregnancy was fine, and although birth was traumatic, its not that that puts me off).
Friends who had their children at the same time as me are already planning their next and one is due to have another in November and I literally couldn't think of anything worse.
Am I normal? I think my husband would be understanding if I talk to him but I also think he'll really believe that I'll change my mind, and then as we get further down the line and realises - what if its the end of us?
I know no one can probably answer this, but maybe someone out there has some advice for me?

[HollyMadison]

Hi. I wanted to say that the thoughts you are having are not abnormal at al!! I have a 2.6 year old and feel similarly to you. I have discussed my feelings with my husband quite a bit and I'm glad I have done. Maybe your DH is feeling the same as you!! There is certainly nothing wrong with not having more children if you don't want to have more.

[DancingLady]

You're totally normal. You adore your son, which is brilliant, and it's totally normal not to want more children! I have 1 DD, very very happy, DH would like another child but knows that ultimately it has to be my decision.

Oh, and you are not 'denying' your DS anything by not giving him siblings. What if you have another child and they hate each other? Enjoy your little boy!

[frckl82]

Thank you both for your reassurance.
Guess the only thing for it is to bite the bullet and speak to my other half. I think he'll be supportive, but I just hope he doesn't resent me for it in the future. But the more I've thought about it these past few days the more sure I feel that one is enough for me.

[DancingLady]

Good luck whatever you decide. Hope your OH is supportive.
xx