I have a little girl who is 8.5 months. She was a big surprise for my DP and I and we were very nervous about her, but as predicted, we both adore her to pieces, and even when it's been tough we've really enjoyed parenting her.
I feel very lucky that I have a healthy, happy little girl. We are both middle earners (teacher, engineer) and can just about afford to get her all she needs, pay a mortgage and afford childcare for the days I work. I found pregnancy and the early days very very hard, and although I didn't have PND I was very bluesy at times, and needed a lot of support for the first few months.
I am very happy with one, and I don't plan on having another child. If I did we would be financially very tight, even more tired (!) and frankly, we just feel lucky and happy and I don't want to upset that family dynamic. My DP currently feels the same. Unfortunately, many people in our lives (largely his mother) insist that 'one is cruel, she'll never learn to share, she'll be bored, what will she do on holidays' etc. ad infinitum. This has been repeated to me by colleagues, my own sister, and some friends. Currently I just smile and nod and then tell them we'll do what's best for us, but I am getting a little tired of it. I'm pretty good at holding my own usually, but I'm starting to think I'm in a serious minority and I'm getting something wrong.
Am I missing something here? Is it really so cruel to have one child? My DD doesn't have cousins in the UK, as my siblings live abroad and DPs are childless, but she does go to a childminder 3 days per week where she plays with other children, and I have made a number of friends at baby groups who we see regularly when I am not working. Is the first one being lonely really a reason to have another child, even if you don't want one for any other reason? I'd be really interested to hear what others think here, as perhaps I am being selfish on my DD as she gets older.
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39 replies
brightonbythesea · 26/07/2013 13:44
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Trunkcall ·
10/10/2013 20:41
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