I've read a fair bit about the advantages and disadvantages of choosing to have an only, but the only thing that makes me waver is wondering whether I'd worry more about death if I had only one child.
Many people have mentioned worrying about the child not having siblings when they are older and inevitably lose their parents. I personally think that this is not so much of a worry because by the time I get really old I'd have thought my only would have friends/cousins/spouse/their own kids to turn to for comfort. I have a sister and it's nice to think of her and her kids being there for me, however, she lives 200 miles away, so it's not like we're in each other's thrall like we were as kids.
No, the thing that really worries me is, what if I have only one child, and that child dies before they've had kids of their own? Would I regret not having a 'spare'? I know it's a selfish way to think because, how would a second child feel if they picked up the vibe that they are a spare!? Also it's an irrational way to think because I've heard of plenty of onlies who went on to have big families, I also know of someone with a big family who lost two siblings at a young age. Just because you have one child doesn't mean you're more likely to have a tragedy happen to you!
I know that even as a parent of more than one I would spend the rest of my life worrying anyway. But as a parent of only one child, am I destined to be even more of a worrier? Or, can I find a way to chill out about my darkest fears, and accept that any kind of child is a joy in your life, even if they pass on early, or choose not to have their own family?
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One-child families
Worrying about your only
9 replies
WannabeEarthMomma · 15/08/2012 22:16
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