struggling and confused over having one child...

(2 Posts)
knickertwister Sun 15-Jul-12 17:12:23

For age and fertility reasons, the chances of me conceiving naturally are virtually zilch, and a huge long shot via IVF. I'm not even sure a clinic would take me on. I'm nearly 43.

I managed to conceive DS, 18 months, through sheer luck - and fate?! - and I always, always thought I would be content with just him. Now I feel such a strong mix of feelings over the whole thing; whether I want another. I know part of my sadness is really grieving for this part of my life being over, and now on my way to (early?) menopause.

DS is amazing and I'm blessed. But I feel so sad that I won't give him a sibling. It's tearing me up quite a lot; and that I've 'failed' my DH because I can't give him another child.

Trying to count my blessings but really struggling.

Thanks for reading.

shrimponastick Mon 16-Jul-12 09:46:28

I only have the one Ds. He is now 14. I perhaps would have had a sibling for him if i had stayed with his father, but we split many years ago.

He is a lovely boy, and to my knowledge hasn't suffered from being an 'only'.

I do hear what you are saying though in regard to age - and the child bearing age being over. I am 44. I met my (now)DH 6 years ago -and we joke (?) about having a child before I am 'past it' grin. In reality I probably am, and don't think I want to give up so much of my time again - when I am just getting to the point f being able to leave DS on his own on an evening, and knowing that that soon me and DH will have our own childfree holidays etd which we haven't had due to our own Dc from prev relationships. But it's that mentality of - it's now or never isn't it?

Your situation is a little different in that your DC is young, so another wouldn't have the same implications as it would for me.

How doyou know that it just won't happen by chance? Have you had tests for early menopause?

All i can say is to enjoy your baby. Try not to let sadness cloud this time. It is true what they say that before you know it they are grown up. So make the most of each moment - it is a great age as they are learning so much.

You never know what could happen. smile

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