3.9 yr old being bullied at nursery ? possible, Help!

[ellasmum1]

there is a particular 4yr old girl at my dd's

nursery that my dd keeps talking about, telling

me most days that she was upset at nursery today

as was being nasty and saying that dd

wasn't allowed to play with her and her group of

friends(usually the ones dd really wants to play

with). Every time I have been near this girl she

has said things to dd like "I'm going to have a

party but you can't come", or on sports day, "I

won this but you didn't win anything" totally

unprovoked! They were both at a party recently

and my dd who is usually extremely happy and

carefree while playing came back to me crying

about 3 times and each time related to this

child telling mine she couldn't play with

people. Her parents were there and did keep

telling child off and seemed very aware that she

does this. Why does it always seem to be my dd

though? Any advice on what to tell dd to stand

up for herself. Not sure about telling her to

just run to adults all the time in case this is

just making this other girl more angry at dd!!

[Jimjams2]

ds2 has a boy a bit like this in his class. I just tell him the boy is being silly and if he starts being silly he should just go and play with someone else. He's finding it hard, but I think its the best response really.

[hairymclary]

you need to speak to the nursery and find out if they're aware of this. then they need to keep an eye on them and make sure it stops

[ellasmum1]

thanks for quick responses, jimjams I sympathise with your little boy, I remember girls like this from my school and it really hurt me so hate seeing same start with dd,and so young fgs!! Yes I think I will speak to nursery about it so at least they know I am aware of it and want it treated seriously. I mean they all have these little tit for tat arguments sometimes but when it is always the same child instigating it is not right.

[Jimjams2]

Definitelty worth talking to the nursery- ds2 is fine- happy at school etc- he just tells me all the things this boy says (in his case I think its a bit of a case of 3's a crowd which is another reason I'm trying to get him to play with others). If he was crying because of it I would go and talk to the teacher. It may just be young kids, but what do I know - never had this problem with ds1- some advantages to not being interested in other children!

Hope you get it sorted!

[Skribble]

I came to the conclusion after working in nurseries....
Kids are horrible!!!
They don't have any idea of others feelings and are completely the centre of their own world, some are more bratish about this than others. ONce they get a reaction to a behaviour from a child or an adult they keep doing it.

At 4 years the parents/ staff need to be stepping in and challenging/ redirecting behaviour.
Encourage DD to play with lots of different children and mkae sure she doesn't feel it is the end of the worls that this girl doesn't like her, it only gets worse .