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Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum.

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum.

Nurseries

CHANGING NURSERY DILEMMA

21 replies

noonar · 18/10/2006 20:31

i have posted before about some reservations i have about dds nursery. but i've kept her there as she seemed happy. until today. dh told me that she went beserk when he tried to leave this morning.

the main problem with the nursery is that all the staff seem very young and immature. the manager, whom i really liked when we looked around, went off to cover maternity leave at another nursery at the time dd started. i didnt know she wouldnt be around!

the other staff members are probably no more than 20 yo. they are all perfectly nice girl next door types, but as a nursery is a meant to be a caring learning environment as well as a chilcare option, i worry that these girls have no one as a role model, especially in with regard to pastoral care/ nuturing litle ones when they're upset. they just dont respond to the children in the way i'd like. and there's no one to show them how to do it better.

my options are:
a) 'complain' and keep dd there short term, till manager returns in feb

b) send dd elsewhere immediately

c) wait till dd turns 2.5 at xmas, then send her to our fantastic local preschool.

dd only does 2 mornings, btw, but dont wont to chop and change.

what do you think i should do?

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noonar · 18/10/2006 20:42

any advice anyone? i'm really agonising over what to do

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hauntymandy · 18/10/2006 20:47

you are clearly not happy.
The manager wont be looking after DD.
I think you have answered it yourself!!

mustcackleorsuckbloodmore · 18/10/2006 20:49

This prob wont help, but ds1 goes to a nursery 2 mornings, and he hated it beyond belief;kicking and screamimg all theway up the road every time.I really began to doubt my judgement. But for no reason at all one morning, he just said 'I'nm not going to cry today'. He didnt , was fine, and loves it now. I did think about taking him out , as he'll be in pre school in January, but decided to stick at it.

noonar · 18/10/2006 20:50

thanks haunty, actually the manager is very hands on , as its a small nursery, and is rarely in her office, i'm told.

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soph28 · 18/10/2006 20:52

if you are happy that she is not in any kind of danger or being treated badly then i would hold out till xmas- it's only another 2 months- would you even be able to get her into another nursery in that time and could you guarantee that she would be any happier there? Sending her to the fab pre-school after X-mas seems to be the sensible option. However if you are really, really concerned or think she might be mistreated in any way then you have to do something about it.

phatcat · 18/10/2006 20:56

Sounds like there's two issues - why was she unhappy to be left today and your feelings about the age / competence of the nursery workers.

For the first issue - I'd see what happens next time you drop her off. If same problem - ask to speak to acting manager and see what they have to say. It could be 'just a phase' she's starting with, so I'd tread carefully. Maybe collect her early and see what you think of what's going on when you are there at a time that's unexpected to them.

I think you need to trust your instincts however and I would feel the same if it were all young girls at my ds' nursery. Option C sounds good.

CrocodileKate · 18/10/2006 20:57

I agree with Soph.

noonar · 19/10/2006 13:42

thanks everyone. i am now even more unsure what to do as the preschool cant take her until well after xmas/ spring, as they have such a long waiting list.

i did ring up the nusery's head office and voiced my concerns. didnt give my name as i didnt want to make things awkward. they took it seriously, which is good. they asked me what they to could do to make me feel better about it. i said, that i didnt imagine that they would change their staff on grounds that one parent is unhappy.

i think i will call back and suggest that they 'second' a more mature member of staff from one of their other nurseries.

i dont want to chop and change for dd's sake.

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noonar · 19/10/2006 17:53

just been chatting to another mum, who thinks the staff are about 17. no wonder they seem young. i thought they were 20!

any one with experience of working at a nursery? is it acceptable that the majority of staff are so young? doesnt seem like good pracice to me.

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nurseryvoice · 19/10/2006 18:11

17?
no its not acceptable
if they are 17 then they are not allowed to be included in the ratios
this is one of the many reasons i do not employ 17 year olds

managers should have 5 years post qualifying experience and deputies a similar if not the same.

vitomum · 19/10/2006 18:12

is there no-one in any management role there at all? could you get that clarified.

noonar · 19/10/2006 18:17

sorry , there is a temporary manager, but she looks about 20. but HQ tell me she's late twenties. she's not a patch on the permanent manager, though.

am not certain they are only 17, but i'd say 2 out of 3 would not get served in a pub without being asked for ID. thats how young they look.

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lovelylou · 20/10/2006 13:21

I am a nursery nurse and have worked with 17 year olds before and they are not mature or patient enough to do the job. They are usually hired when the nursery cannot get anyone older or qualified to stay. Have you asked how many of the staff are qualified because if they are only 17 they cannot be qualified. I get so mad when i hear about nurseries like this cos i have worked in similar places and they are Horrid
My advice would be to take your child somewhere else

noonar · 27/10/2006 18:32

thanks, lou, i only just saw your reply.

i think i need to ring up- another anon call and check their ages/qualifications, as am not 100per cent sure that they are that young. they just look it.

i think they've figured it out that it was me who rang HQ. the manager has been so OTT nice and affectionate with dd when we arrive
a bit cringy, but dd is warming to her more as a result. i am glad they that seem to be acting on my concerns.

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threebob · 27/10/2006 18:56

Do you need the childcare?

noonar · 27/10/2006 19:04

kind of. ish. it gives me one morning a week to work from home/ shop- a bit of a luxury. the other morning is when i work. my mum could have her but it would mean having her 2 full days, back to back. a bit much for mum.

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runikka · 27/10/2006 19:45

Hi there

I have been in a similar situation with our little boy. He went through a stage of hating nursery and our problem was high staff turnover, staff ratios, and the fact that we felt he was little more than a number. Unfortunately we didn't feel we could approach the nursery and decided to look into a childminder. On giving notice everything changed. They bent over backwards to help him settle, allowed us to drop him with a familiar face each time (permanent staff) and he has now settled and hasn't had to go through settling in somewhere else etc. This in mind, I would say if there is ANYONE you feel you could talk to, do try before taking drastic action. You might still decide to change nursery but at least you will know where you stand with this one first. Good luck with your decision.

threebob · 28/10/2006 06:37

Well if you appreciate the time to do the things you do I would just tell yourself - "they aren't harming her, they could be better at it sure - but it has allowed me to get xxxxx done today."

Ds's nursery give him spagetti on toast for lunch on the one day he's there all day and have done now for 6 months. But he has allergies and he hasn't had a single reaction because of their caution, and he doesn't seem to mind and eats normal food the rest of the time.

If she is leaving in a couple of months, unless one of them does something stupid I would just use the blind eye.

NannyStar · 28/10/2006 11:20

Hello noonar, I have worked in nurseries for 6 years and worked in one where the staff were all young apart from 1 mature lady and it was terrible. They just sat down all day, didn't plan activities for the children and didn't know what TLC was at all. If a child became upset the staff would just tell him/her to toughen up and even ignore the child completely. There was no behavioural policies in place. Ofsted must've had a field day on their recent visit.

The best nurseries I have even worked in have had a mixed age group in regards to staff. In one nursery we had students age 16/17 and the nursery assistants/nurses were aged from 20-60 and it was fantastic. If any of the younger staff dared mess around the older ones tried to mother them and nurture them into great nursery nurses and the younger ones saw the older ones as role models and could ask them anything as the older ones had worked in childcare for years. IME nurseries staffed with only youngsters, however nice they may be, don't work.

noonar · 29/10/2006 11:39

tahnks nanystar, i will speak to head office about them sending in someone more experienced from one of their other nurseries.

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noonar · 29/10/2006 11:39

tahnks nanystar, i will speak to head office about them sending in someone more experienced from one of their other nurseries.

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