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How long before you LO stopped crying at nursery drop off?

9 replies

ThirteenMeetings · 01/08/2014 09:16

DD is 11 months and has been going to nursery for a month (including settling in) but only for two days a week. At first she cried as I was leaving but now cries as soon as we walk in the door.

The staff are lovely and the other babies and children all seem happy, but I'm finding it tough! How long did it take for your LO's to get used to it and stop crying?

OP posts:

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workingtitle · 07/08/2014 20:53

That must be tough, poor you. Prime age for separation anxiety? Have you spoken to your DD's key worker about it? If it were me, I would express that I was finding the tears difficult and could they work with me to make the goodbye easier. I am really upbeat at drop offs/pick ups, make sure I say goodbye properly and when I pick up I don't take DS from his key worker immediately, but talk to him first while she's holding him.
Any feedback on how quickly she settles once you leave?

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StepfauxWife · 07/08/2014 20:59

You poor thing, I went through this with my DD. She was at the height of separation anxiety when we started settling in. She is full time and it took about two weeks.

I always made sure I said goodbye and that I would see her later (and call every hour while she was there ). She now waves goodbye to me and it's truly lovely to see.

Hang in there! I got some good advice on here at the time, might be worth searching back (sorry can't link and I'm on my phone).

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Kwilliams99 · 07/08/2014 21:06

My lo took months :(

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StepfauxWife · 07/08/2014 21:10

Have just bumped my previous thread for you OP

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merlehaggard · 12/08/2014 15:32

My son started nursery in January when he was 3. Just before Easter, he decided that he would go in from the door like the other children. Prior to that though, I would go in with him and stay until he got distracted and gradually creep out. He knew I was doing it but couldn't bare to see me go. Once I'd gone he was fine. Now, 8 months on, he always runs in happily. He is a little older though and was being worked up to 3 school hour days, so is there quite a lot now.

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merlehaggard · 12/08/2014 15:35

Btw, I never left to tears as I would stay until he was happy. I made it clear to the staff I wouldn't walk out if he was crying. Once, a member of staff did suggest the drop and leave approach and it made things much worse. He was much more clingy the next day and it was after this that I got more insistent, and they were fine with it.

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Happymum1985 · 12/08/2014 20:39

Help! I am going through the same thing. I was perhaps a little naive in thinking because my DS has always loved being around people and getting attention that he would love nursery. He is only going one day a week which I suppose is slowing down his settling in period but it is awful. He has been for two weeks now (only two days) and both days the nursery have called me at work because he was so distressed. I could hear him screaming in the background and it was literally heart breaking. I am wondering if I am being selfish going back to work and if he isnt ready yet... I hate knowing that he thinks I'm not coming back :(

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starlight1234 · 12/08/2014 20:44

I am not sure if it is helpful for me to reply but my DS started nursery at about 18 months...Had separation anxiety. At first cried when I left, when he moved to another area, and when I returned. went down to when I left and when I returned quite quickly and eventually when I left...This never stopped till he started school.

He did though stop crying quite quickly after I was out of sight. It is really tough. I didn't cry in front of him but many times went home for a cry and then eventually got used to it.

I made drop offs quick as prolonging it never made it any better ..

Just to add after induction day at school he has never once cried when I left him

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ThirteenMeetings · 12/08/2014 20:51

Thank you for the nice messages! After a low point a week ago when she got so upset she threw up, it has been getting a little better. If I stay she keeps crying, so I try to give her a hug and kiss and say goodbye then leave them to it. She does still cry, but I hide round the corner and she settles down fairly quickly. I'm sure she'll continue to improve, but crikey it's hard!