Two year old unhappy at nursery drop off

[Welshwabbit]

My son is 2.2 and has been been going to the same nursery one day per week for over a year. He was very clingy at the beginning but after a while (several months) seemed to get used to it and whilst not skipping in, went without crying. A few weeks ago I took him in and he just screamed. It took the staff about 10 mins to calm him down. Since then he has cried at every drop off. I thought it was improving but this morning he sobbed for ages again (I was waiting out of sight).

The staff tell me he is fine during the day and when I go to pick him up he is always playing happily and often doesn't notice me come in! He talks about the nursery workers at home in a positive way and doesn't seem unhappy when we mention nursery.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did you find a solution? I am going to move him to a nursery nearer home shortly and his current nursery have said they think the problem may be that he only goes once per week. I can see that argument but it doesn't explain why he was fine for months and then got upset again.

[whatsagoodusername]

My DS did this, around 2.6. He was going three days a week.

We were moving out of the area so we kept him going until we did, but I think if we hadn't been moving, I'd have pulled him out sooner.

He loves his new nursery. He runs in every day and at least once a week I get shoved out the door.

[Welshwabbit]

Thanks whatsagoodusername. I am going to move him because the current nursery is near our old house and is now 30 mins walk away, but I am concerned that the same thing will happen at the new place if he only goes once a week. It is useful to know that your DS became unhappy when going 3 days. I'm glad he loves his new nursery! I took my son to look round the alternative nursery a couple of weeks ago and he loved the garden, so I hope that's a good sign. The interior was a bit tatty, but all the children seemed happy, which is the most important thing.

[whatsagoodusername]

I have no idea why he was upset. There were no changes in staffing, staff couldn't or wouldn't explain it. We thought maybe a new child was bothering him, but have no basis for that other than it was a pretty sudden onset so put it down to a change at nursery.

There were no issues settling into his new nursery. He hardly even cried at settling in. Hopefully your DS also settles quickly and happily at his new nursery. How long until he can go to the new one?

[TitsCrossed]

Ds 2.8 goes 1 day a week to nursery, has done since 6m old. He has gone through a couple of phases of crying/clinging at drop off, the latest has just stopped but began while I was pregnant with dd (now 4m). We started talking about nursery a lot the day before, all the great things he will be doing, relating it to Balamory (one of his favourite programmes ).

Nursery told us he was happy when there, and if I hung around out of sight I saw that he quickly settled.

I think in our case it went on longer because he only did 1 day a week.

[Welshwabbit]

I rang them this morning and they said that he should be able to start pretty much straight away - when I saw them a couple of weeks ago they told me they had a place coming available in June. I am just waiting for confirmation and then we will fill out the forms. We are going on holiday the week after next so I think I will start him after that, if possible.

[Welshwabbit]

Thanks TitsCrossed - I have started trying to talk to him about nursery the day before and on the morning, and he always seems fine (he mentions two of the carers all the time, and says which one is his favourite) - it's just when we get there! He is a bit shy and clingy anyway so the one day per week thing probably doesn't help. I'm glad things are better with your DS now.

[TitsCrossed]

I hope he is very happy in his new nursery. Ds is a bit shy too, prefers to hang back, but getting much more confidant now. I think that all the change and upheaval of the new baby sister and me being on mat leave was the reason.

[Lioninthesun]

I still have this OP. Like you DD had stopped and was confidently running off to play, sometimes without even a backwards glance! We moved and everything was fine for several months, but then suddenly it has all started up again. Having said that, today she just asked for a hug and big kisses and then said "Byeee" and ran off, so who knows! I would try not to worry though. Nursery staff assure me she is fine the second I am out of sight and she just has a very strong attachment to me. I am a LP so not many other adults to attach to which may be part of it.

[ClairesTravellingCircus]

I had the same with ds aged 2.2, he went happily from sept to april (he gies every morning), then he had a clingy phase when he was crying desoerately every morning.
It lasted a couple of weeks then stopped. The staff were realky helpful and talked to him about the fun things they were doing and that I needed to do the shopping, and it's been fine since.

I think often it is a developmental phase, and yes I agree once a week may not help.

Hope he settles well in his new nursery!

[Welshwabbit]

Thanks for all the responses. I feel reassured that it's not just me/him! Hopefully the new nursery will be easier for him. I do wonder whether the longer journey to our current one just gives him more time to get worked up, and may not be helping.

[bananamoonstalbans]

Good Luck with getting your son settled into the new nursery.
Some children need a routine in the mornings when they settle, maybe going into the same area of the nursery to read a book as soon as they arrive or doing one their favourite activities.
It also helps to talk about this routine as the morning is going along and explaining the point at which you will be saying goodbye. If this happens every time they go to nursery they familiarity makes them feel more settled.
Some children just feel more comfortable in certain surroundings- a smaller nursery perhaps, or a larger/more open free space.
It can occur that some children do not like walking into a busy room, they prefer a more quieter/calmer entrance depending on what they are used to at home and then once they feel settled they are happier with the busy atmosphere of the nursery.
I hope this helps

[Welshwabbit]

Thanks banana. He was a bit better this morning (we already do the reading a book in the same place thing) but still waily. We have a place at the new nursery now so I will lead up to that with conversations about what he is going to do there, the garden outside (which he liked) etc.