Please tell me it gets better

[Jayne266]

DS had his first 3 hour trial at nursery (7months old). And tomorrow he goes for the full day.

I was good you will be proud of me I didn't cry (in front of anyone ) and was ok while he was there.

Then was excited to go and get him and see him just finishing his tea (I was picking him up just after tea time).

Anyway when I got there he was crying his eyes out and the women couldn't hold him properly as his was fidgeting and dropping his dummy on the floor (and putting it back into his mouth).

My heart sank I just got him off the lady and he cried into my shoulder then stopped and wouldn't let go of me.

Sorry to be long still a bit upset.

[Phil2216]

Hi I actually work at a Nursary as a qualified Early years educator and a have a 2 yo daughter so I have been on both sides of it now every parent has different views of how there child should be looked after now it's very hard for staff to accommodate every little bit of information for the first time but once they get to know your child you will feel much better about leaving your child there ask them who your child's key person is a just spend 5 mins every pickup just chatting and getting to know them and telling them about you child or if you don't li,e that write a note or letter saying what he likes and how he likes to be held and other stuff like that

One word of warning if your child is going to busy bees then pull them out immediately because they have changed there policies which make it even harder to look after the children because there are not enough staff I know this because I work there and I pulled my child out straight away

[Jayne266]

Hi phil no he's not at busy bees I know your right but I feel like I would be the pain in the arse mum who says too much.

My friend was thinking of busy bees how's the policy changed?

[Phil2216]

You can never say to much because unlike the company the staff want to get to know your child
The policy has changed so now only lvl 3 can be left alone so anyone under that can not be left alone with children but there are only 2 per room in most nursarys so they have to choose whether to stay in all day with the bathroom open or stay out all day with the bathroom open its no longer free flow so staff are less able to watch the children

[LadyWidmerpool]

The first times can be hard but it will get better as your child becomes more familiar with the environment, people and routine. My daughter was in tears the first time we picked her up but she settled in really quickly and is very fond of the staff. For a while she started crying as soon as she saw me at pick up time, having been playing quite happily, I think because she wanted to be picked up instantly or sooner!

[cookielove]

Jayne - i've worked in a nursery for over 10 years, and currently work in baby room, don't worry if you cry, its ok we completly understand this is a really big step for everyone involved.

First days can be really hard, but hopefully your child will settle soon enough, things that you can do to help your child settle are:

1. Wear a muslin under your top for a couple of days, (so it smells of you, label it) and give it to the nursery, it can really help reassure your child, can be great for sleeping, or every day.
   
   
2. If possible come a little earlier to pick your child up in the first few weeks, nursery can be tiring, and children tend to flag at 4 ish and can get upset seeing other children leave.
   
   
3. If you can have as many settles as possible take them (we offer loads)
   
   
4. Bring in toys that your child enjoys playing with.
   
   
5. Try and be relaxed, happy and up beat, your baby will pick up on how you are feeling.
   
   
6. When you leave been short and sweet, kiss on the head and say bye bye, it is so much worse for the child when it is dragged out, (i know how hard this is when they are crying) try not to pop back into your childs eye line after leaving, can be very upsetting.
   
   HTH

[SimLondon]

It does get better, but - your doing it quite quickly, i would seriously think about building it up from 30 minutes to a couple of hours, to a half day and by the end of the week a full day. Not doing it in two days.

And if your really uncomfortable with one nursery then find an alternative one.

[Stressball]

I'm in the same boat as you and start work in Monday. My daughter is 9mths and balled the place down during her settling in sessions, was fine whilst we were in the room, but as soon as we left she screamed.

I've agreed with them that we are going to settle her in by going 3 days for 3 or so hours for the first week, then building it up week by week finally with her going 5 full days. Hoping that works gradually building the time up. Thankfully DH is around for 6 weeks before being posted then in on my own! God help me!!!
Really feel for you, trying to hold back the tears and dreading work on Monday.

[Jayne266]

Just a update well he had the first full day which was ok a few crys they said but not too much.

I didn't even think to spread it out to introduce him in but luckily he only goes 1 day one week and 3 days the next week.

The nursery didn't want me to bring his toys in.

So hopefully it will be better.