Killer egg-boxes. Grrrrrrr!

[bubble99]

The children were making spiders out of egg-boxes (does that need the hyphen??) today. During our recent OFSTED inspection they had been making snakes out of them and the inspector muttered appreciatively and ticked her sheet. But today we were graced with a visit from one of the 'Early Years Advisory Team.' I am in a long running dispute with this lot anyway as they are paid for by my council taxes and with the exception of one or two seem to consist of a bunch of bods who wander around nurseries tellling nursery owners that they need to buy more 'essential' crap.

Today we were told that 'eggboxes shouldn't be used for junk-modelling because of a salmonella risk.' WTF??? Of course if an egg box is either covered in broken egg or chicken shit we wouldn't use it. Is no one credited with any sense at all anymore??

BTW. Some of out staff went on Birth to Three training recently and came back waving catalogues of things that we 'just have to buy.' I 'phoned up the Head of Early Years to find out what kind of state- salaried and supposedly objective trainer was giving out catalogues to course members. I was told that the Early Years Advisors are 'so busy' Yeah!! 'So busy' wandering around nurseries on fuck knows how much per annum advising about the evils of egg-boxes - that the council has to use contract trainers. Contract trainers who hand out 'consultancy services' cards and flog their own catalogues. I'm really pissed of about this.

The final insult was that the Head of Early Years then said - 'Oh. Don't worry those training costs don't come out of council tax, it's from a government grant!' So. Oh wise one, I asked, who do you think pays for that?????

[cod]

oh god i always used to think that advisors wer failed teachers tbh

[lunavix]

lol

I know how you feel. I had an early years advisor (not my own one thank god) eyeing up a three year old on a little tykes slide and say she was unsure that it was a suitable play piece of equipment as the child might fall.
It's one of those one's that's all of a foot and a half high.

[bubble99]

This one is. She constantly tells us to 'go and look at the garden of X nursery - it's amazing!' She usually corners our managers but on a recent visit I reminded her that 'the garden of X nursery' has been there for 20 years (we've been open for one year) and is a council run nursery funded by, you guessed it, tax payers. The budget for their 'amazing garden' will be the same whether they have 4 or 40 children in the nursery.

BTW. I worked for the NHS for many years and have first-hand knowledge of the 'black hole' nature of public money.

[bubble99]

Those evil Little Tykes slides, eh??

[starlover]

you should probably just tie them all up in a padded room/.... just in case

[bubble99]

SL. I'm more concerned about the cereal boxes that may have been on a shelf near an offending egg.

[bubble99]

And even if they weren't Waswondering, it's health and safety gawn mad, isn't it?? No one is allowed to use rational judgement anymore.

[starlover]

i don't think you ought to be touching anything... at all, ever!

and neither should the children! junk modelling? what if they get a paper cut? or fall off their chair? or stick themselves to something???

the perils are endless

[sparkler1]

Things are getting beyond the joke at my dd's preschool. Everything seems to be getting banned.
1 - egg boxes also because of allergies
2 - the children are not allowed to take bananas in their lunchboxes (again because of a child who has a serious allergy) - this is the only fruit that some of the children will eat ffs!
3 - dd took a bag of sweets in the other day from our holiday in France. She wanted to give them as a token to her friends at preschool to tell them about her fun holiday. She ended up bringing the whole bag home because one child had diabetes and they couldn't give them to anyone else.

What is the world coming to?

[moondog]

Oh for fucks sake!!!!

[rummum]

I thought you had to microwave them before using them... or was that toilet rolls?

[panicpants]

Didn't know you could have an allergy to a banana!

It's the same at my school, esp if there's a nut allergy child, then we can't give out chocolates to any of that class.

But here's an interesting aside: at the beginning of each school year, every parent has to fill out a medical needs form. Part of the form is about allergy's, last year a parent wrote

'X is allergic to crunchy peanut butter but is ok to eat smooth peanut butter'

wtf?!

[bubble99]

rummum. I'll microwave the sodding 'Early Years Advisor' if she shows her face again.

Seriously. One of the items deemed 'essential' in the Birth to Three materials catalogue was a bear glove puppet FGS. Our OFSTED report said that we are 'very well resourced with a good range of toys and equipment' yet I'm getting staff wandering up to me raving about f**n bear glove puppets.

[rummum]

My son is allergic to nuts, I would never dream of stopping the whole class having a chocolate treat... I supply son's own sweets which are kept in his classroom with his epi-pen.
LOL at the smooth and crunchy peanut butter... [shakes head emoticon]

[panicpants]

Our relationship to the Early Years Advisors are pretty similiar yours in our nursery/foundation stage.

They seem to be on a different planet than your average advisor.

[rummum]

where are you bubble... I'll keep my eye out for this Early Years Advisor woman...

[bubble99]

I think what P's some of these council bods off is that we are a private nursery and, beyond approving our funding for 3 year old and meeting Health and Safety Standards (who, BTW, made no mention of our killer egg-boxes during their last vist), they have little or no say in how we operate. As long as OFSTED, our children and our parents are happy, they can sod off.

[panicpants]

No it's not the parent's it's the schools policy - i.e., health and safety.

[bubble99]

rummum. We're in Richmond-upon-Thames.

[NotQuiteCockney]

If the kids are small enough, (e.g. pre-reception) it does seem best to just have everyone avoid food that any are allergic too. Otherwise, the staff really really have to supervise them a lot, and still, things can go wrong.

I am however pmsl about the allergy to crunchy peanut butter.

Can't you just go on about how much you're into holistic play, bubble? Much cheaper, much more interesting for the kids, and very trendy.

[bubble99]

NQC. We are 'Treasure Basket' central.

Our kitchen is 'nut-free' but I use seeds unless a child has an allergy to sesame etc.

BTW. Did you know that coconut is in fact a seed? I've had many a dispute with these Early Years fuckwits over that one, too.

[NotQuiteCockney]

What about pine nuts? Are they seeds too?

Glad to hear coconut is a seed, I've often wondered.

Oh, are cashews nuts, seeds, or something else entirely?

[bubble99]

I'm not sure about pine nuts? We haven't had pesto at nursery so it hasn't come up. Let me know though if you do, NQC. I know of a lot of nurseries who serve pasta and pesto.

Cashew nuts?? Again, we haven't used them and I would have to look them up.

[ThePrisoner]

I'm really scared now ... I use killer egg-boxes, infected toilet roll tubes, and my chiropractor saves the huge big paper roll inserts (the paper stuff that doctors put over their examining beds) for me ... goodness only knows what nasty germs they breed. I will be contacting my network co-ordinator forthwith to dob myself in.

Hmmm ... we've always been encouraged to collect leaves, twigs, snail shells etc. They must be a hotbed of yukkiness!

Bubble - you surely don't let the children play outside in your nursery garden and actually allow them to breathe air. You'll get reported for sure!