DS was found in the road at the end of his first day of nursery. Opinions on what to do now please.

[Kittypickle]

DS went to nursery on Tuesday for his first day. He was very excited about going, went in with no problem and took great delight in telling me I couldn't stay. It's a purpose built nursery attached to DD's school pretty much at the end of our driveway that we walk past twice a day. DD went through and was happy there and I was happy with the care she received.

I went to get pick him up and was outside a bit early and had a chat with a friend. The door opened and the children started coming out. One of the staff came over to me to tell me how he got on, which was fine. I then went to the door to get him only to find no children left inside. I asked where he was and no one knew. After a few minutes of panic there was shouting up at the main gate which is some distance away so I ran over. One of the other mothers had found him in the gutter, about to step out into the road from behind a parked car and grabbed him.

The procedure at home time is that the children line up at the door and go out one by one to their parents who are outside. If the parent isn't there or busy for some reason they are to sit on the bench by the teacher. There is supposed to be someone by the gate round the corner just in case anyone slips through.

No one knows exactly what happened. The lady who talked to me was supposed to have been at the gate. The lady in charge had left 20 mins early so her deputy was in charge. It seems that DS who didn't know what he was supposed to be doing had walked through with another child, didn't see me as the teacher was in front of me and just carried on walking. I think when he didn't see me he was trying to go home (he's 2.7) as he knows the way well.

I was called later in the afternoon by the lady in charge who has apologised profusely. I suggested they changed the procedure to how it was at DD's playschool where we used to live ie all the children sit on the mat at the end of the day and the parents go in one by one and take the child. She agreed without hesitating and called me up yesterday morning before school to get me to look at the letter she was sending the parents to say following a serious incident they were changing the way they did it and it was done like that yesterday.

She has reported it to the school and to the head of the commitee (one of the vicars from the church up the road apparently.) The whole of the school grounds are under review at present and will be changed pretty shortly. To get from the nursery to the main road you go through two small gates with latches and bolts. They are not self shutting. Then there is the main school gate. When they are out at play the small gates are bolted apparently. I think they would be possible for a small child to open so it's reliant on the staff keeping a close eye on the gate which is slightly round the corner to the nursery door.

I have said that I am intending to send DS back tomorrow but that if I find I can't bring myself to I will let them know. I have since found out from my friend's DH that he has been to pick up and there wasn't anyone on the gate as supposed to be.

Sorry this is so very long. I really can't get my head round him going again, I don't think I would be able to relax. If it wasn't for the fact that he loved it so much there wouldn't be any question in my mind, he wouldn't go. If anyone has got this far and wouldn't mind putting down what thoughts you have about what you would do in a similar situation they would be very welcome ! Many thanks.

[busybusybee]

That is appalling
No advice though sorry!

[anorak]

I would send him back. It sounds as if the staff are falling over themselves to ensure that this doesn't happen again, so I don't see what more can be done. Of course it shouldn't have happened in the first place, but it did, and as long as all concerned do all they can to learn from that then I think that's all you can ask.

To save you worrying, why not arrive five minutes early to satisfy yourself that there's no way he could ge out without getting past you? And if they stick to the new rules, I'm sure after a little while you'll feel comfortable again.

[EvesMama]

something similar happend to me recently and ythen it happend again..however my dd's nursery(also in school grounds but private) where in no way as apologetic as these seem to be, instead of worrying about what the other parent said, go back/ring the head/manager and ask them what happend and tell them you will only be bringing you child back if you are a 100% assured the new, more efficient procedure is in place..may or may not require a brief mention of ofsted at this point?
i really hope you get sorted as it has been a nitemare for us as dd also really loves it there, but she is going to school nursery next month so she wasnt just at start..good luck

[edam]

Must have been a real shock. Should never have happened, of course, but they are taking it very seriously and making sure it doesn't happen again.

I think Anorak's advice about arriving 5 minutes early is good if you choose to send him back. Think I would, personally, but keeping a very close eye on what happens.

[edam]

Oh, and I'd tell ds very seriously that he must wait for me and not leave the grounds himself. But I'm sure you've done that.

[Twiglett]

I think it was an appalling error

I think they have acted in an exemplary manner

they have totally changed their modus operandi .. they are patently as shocked as you were .. they are already looking at ways to improve the security

I think if anything, after this kind of shock your DD will be safer than many other places where unfortunately complacency can set in

I personally wouldn't have the slightest hesitation in taking my child back

[alicemama]

I agree that they seem to be doing everything in their power to pevent this from happening again.
I think arriving early is a good idea as well as drumming it into your little one not to go anywhere else but come straight to you.
Its really hard I know and has made me think long and hard as dd1 starts nursery next week, so I need to seriously investigate their proceedure at hometime.

Good Luck

[melissasmummy]

I would be inclined to keep using it. As others have said, they have reacted straight away to a serious incident & have involved you with the change. They are obviously as concerned as you are.

At DD's playschool they sit on chairs and wait for the parents to come in & get them, they aren't even that close to a road, but think its works better than any other method.

Good Luck fo rhis next visit, rest assured that they acted as quickly as possible.

[puff]

It is dreadful and they do appear to be trying to rectify the safety problems.

However, whilst it's good they are sending letters out etc informing parents of their efforts to improve safety, they need to be demonstrating this 100% of the time.

It isn't good enough that when your friend's dh arrived, there was no member of staff on the gate as promised.

This would not fill me with confidence and I would tell the nursery that commitments made about safety must be enforced all the time.

[puff]

It is dreadful and they do appear to be trying to rectify the safety problems.

However, whilst it's good they are sending letters out etc informing parents of their efforts to improve safety, they need to be demonstrating this 100% of the time.

It isn't good enough that when your friend's dh arrived, there was no member of staff on the gate as promised.

This would not fill me with confidence and I would tell the nursery that commitments made about safety must be enforced all the time.

[puff]

It is dreadful and they do appear to be trying to rectify the safety problems.

However, whilst it's good they are sending letters out etc informing parents of their efforts to improve safety, they need to be demonstrating this 100% of the time.

It isn't good enough that when your friend's dh arrived, there was no member of staff on the gate as promised.

This would not fill me with confidence and I would tell the nursery that commitments made about safety must be enforced all the time.

[Kittypickle]

Thank you all. I'm being a bit irrational about this I think as I am hormonal I've had several friends ring me this morning after hearing what has happened and have come to the conclusion that DS will be the safest child in any nursery in the UK if he goes tomorrow as they wouldn't dare take their eye off him for a second.

I didn't explain the gate bit well. I was told that there had always been someone on the gate and the time when the incident happened was the first time no one had been at the gate which appears not to be true. As far as I know yesterday was the first day of the new system and went OK. I shall hear more this afternoon when friend's DH has picked up their DD.

My reaction is probably due to the fact that in the last few months I've been nursing my Mum from her hip replacement, my Dad and my MIl have both got cancer, DH has been unwell, the cat has died. I was so looking forward to DS going and was gutted when they cocked up his days after having had him down 2 years ago. That got sorted and the relief of starting on Tuesday was huge, then it all went so horribly wrong.

I've just been speaking to another friend who mentioned about the 9 year old boy who died this week when he got crushed in a pair of electric gates. It was a member of her SIL's family and I just feel so lucky that DS is fine. I'm off out and hopefully a cup of tea and a cake will balance my hormones so I get can get more rational about it!

[anorak]

It's not irrational to want to keep your children safe. Enjoy your cake, it sounds like you desperately need a little break. x

[jellyjelly]

Have posted on your other thread but i find this digusting that they have been neglegent. I am so glad that this has had a good ending rather than a tragic one which sadly you hear to much.

[williamsmummy]

I dont like the idea of children sitting on a mat, staff can be easy distracted by adults approaching.
I would be happy if all children sat at a table , with a member of staff assigned to watch their table children go with parents/careers.
And someone on door to watch in case anyone slips past.

much safer, IMO

But thats me BTW NNEB

[Mummia]

Don't know what I would do. The nursery have reacted well but it shouldn't have happened. I take it he walked through 2 little gates which should have been locked? I think those need to be fixed and quickly, they need self closing and how about catches on both sides? Hope all the other things improve for you.

[Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads]

I'd send him back, but I think that it is essential with such young children that adults go into collect and the children do not come out.

[mumeeee]

This is a very bad mistake and the deputy should have made sure that there was a member of staff on the gate.However everyone makes mistakes occansionly. I would send him back as they ahsre apolagised and changed thier policy. They now need to make sure they are extra vigulant and stick to the policy..