Induction week muppetry, what next?

[merryberry]

Have you ever pulled a kid out of nursery in the induction period? What's the usual form? Will we be held to our contract when they haven't delivered the care we were led to expect?

DS went in today for 2nd day. First day (hour only) was form filling and taking notes of routine. Today was supposed to be an hour of letting him get used to the place. The list is so long of the f*ck-wittage that went on that I won't bore you with it. Suffice it to say, the manager >agreed< with me that the place was unhappy and my specific problems were grounded. Boils down to the classic baby farming versus child centred care. We are paying for child centred and they aren't managing it.

I am going back with baby as agreed tomorrow to speak to the relevant staff and see if there is any hope they can convince us this is a one off. Would appreciate your experience, opinions, thoughts. Thank you.

[Twiglett]

No I don't think they can as they are not upholding their side of the contract

[GeorginaA]

I would say that if you're not 100% happy there or have any doubts, find somewhere else. Worst case scenario is that they'll keep a month's fees from you (although if the manager agreed with you that it was crap, then I'd be shocked if they didn't refund you) and you can immediately focus your energy on finding somewhere that suits your ds rather than constantly worry if you made the right decision leaving him there...

[merryberry]

dp and i agree with you. we'll go in and if things aren't 100% rest of the week, then bye. i suspect things are so ropey there that even today's rocket won't improve things that much.

i hope we don't end up rowing over the cash. it's two months notice in the contract and 700 quid a month (for 3 days!!).

[GeorginaA]

Two month's notice?!! That's fairly unusual isn't it? I thought 1 month was fairly standard... (yikes, better check my own contract now - I want to stop ds2's private day nursery in September as he'll be old enough for the nursery closer to home! Don't want to end up overlapping payments )

If they charge you £1400 for 2 months notice when they failed their side of the contract then I'd take them to small claims tbh.

[hoxtonchick]

oh what a bugger mb. really hope it works out. when are you back at work??

[merryberry]

Well we're new to nurseries so I don't know about two months versus one...best check yr contract! Dp said yes, small claims as well if it comes to it. I don't expect it will. I expect we can thrash something out with them. Off to look at alternate care near here.

[GeorginaA]

Just checked my contract - definitely says 1 month, and I'm sure our old nursery in Croydon was 1 month notice too. Bizarre.

Hope it all works out. Keep us posted how it goes over the next few days...

[merryberry]

Not til 28th April thanks HC! And push comes to shove I can extend or resign. I so don't want to resign. I've been looking forward to working again.

Here's my list of what I should be doing next month and I can see not happening

smear test
gp for thyroid prob
opticians
dental treatment
chiropodist
and a makeover sort of - clothes, hair, some new slap.

Ah well, maybe the world isn't ready for me to be that glam and healthy

[merryberry]

I will GeorginaA. Thank you for you input and interest.

[NudeFringe]

I know all nurseries are different and have different policies.

DS started at nursery a month ago. I initially had to pay a £25 deposit to secure his place.

The induction period (I chose 2 weeks but it could have been longer) was not charged for. The nursery only started charging me when he took up his place properly.

Perhaps this is rare?

But an example of how some nurseries operate. As opposed to your experience

[merryberry]

Gawd, it sounds like we're on diff. planets. Lucky you. And we felt grateful to get a part-time polace at all!

[Belo]

MB Sorry you've had such a negative experience. My dds go to one of the new government children's centres and its brilliant. Before it was taken into the Children's Centre management, it was a Lambeth run nursery. Do you have any children's centres nursery/local authority nurseries near you? I like the fact that nobody is trying to make a profit out of looking after them.

As to getting your deposit back... When I was looking at places for dd1 I put a deposit down with another nursery. I then got a very bad feeling about the place and I told them my objections and requested my deposit back. They refused to give it to me. I took the to a small claims court and got it back - plus expenses for having to take time off work! If you've got a strong enough argument, why don't you threaten the nursery with that?

Its stressful enough goign back to work without this worry. I hope you can get it resolved smoothly [hugs emoticon].

[moondog]

What's the problem exactly?

[merryberry]

Hi Belo, hope you got some work done. , I wish we did have something like that. We're in camden and the council places don't do part time.

They can keep the 50 quid deposit, but I don't see we should pay for any of the 2 months notice period. DS was in his (free) induction week when we (this in answer to you moondog):

no-one to greet us when we arrived for his first proper settling in day
all staff except one agency
non-agency staff very stressed, swearing in the changing room
left me sat on sofa for 20 minutes when i asked if i could put ds down (past his nap time)
took a further 15 minutes to urn lights off over his cot as requested
did not tell me if i shold settle himn or if they would. after i stopped thre diff. people trying to settle him by swinging the cot and singing to him (they noted we do pick up put down and said they would) i took over
they missed his milk time. i took him out and fed him in the corridor, as my temper was rising.
one girl cried for an hour solid and noone except myself and another mum on induction tried to settle her. should we even have been allowed to touch her?
there were enough staff as per the ratio - more in fact. just badly aranged and poor morale and basically miserable atmnosphere.
said all above to manger who >agreed<
she also said 'its hard for new mums, we know you don't want to leave them'. i actually laughed - 'if anyone had taken any trouble to ask they would know i'm thrilled to be getting ds into nursery - looking forward to work and him having other input. '

went back today as arranged, and resigned. the manager to call tomorrow.

booked an induction with another nursery for next week. wish us luck.

[Enid]

that sounds shocking merryberry

tbh I would pull him out now whatever

[Kathy1972]

That sounds dreadful merryberry, not what you should expect. You have done the right thing, no question.

[GeorginaA]

Absolutely agree that you did the right thing - having a child crying that was completely ignored was one of the huge alarm bells I saw while visiting another nursery when ds1 was small (we didn't go back). I wouldn't leave a dog I didn't like in such circumstances, makes me really angry

I'm very much hoping that the next nursery is excellent and a huge contrast to this one.

Otherwise, would you consider a childminder? That's another solution for getting more individual and personalised attention for your child.

[merryberry]

i'm beginning to consider it G, I really am. have some time tomorrow to find out from local services where i can see the register. haven't commited to nursery2 yet.

[moondog]

Not good merryberry,not good at all.

[merryberry]

going to pub with mate whose baby is in our next choice nursery. had a long chat in park with mum with two there. and getting advice/leads from nanny friend locally. for some reason i am sooooo worried about finding a nanny. ell, we will motor on and see. things will look damn fine from the bottom of my drinks tonight, i'm sure.

[HappyMumof2]

mb, I'm dying to know which nursery it is!? I'm in Islington. Is it private or council? Sounds awful.

I think you should seriously consider alternative carer, eg, childminder/nanny. Nurseries can really differ in the standard of care and none of the things you mention (although they are all terrible) surprise me as I have worked in nurseries (now a childminder)

[FrayedKnot]

You have definitely done the right thing merryberry. It sounds awful. Hope the 2nd nursery is much, much better.

I had some wobbly moments during DS induction. Mainly because for part of the time, the room leader was on holiday and I wasn;t overly happy with the way the room was being run in her absence. He is 2, so not the same issues really. But was pretty satisfied overall, and realised that once he was settled, the occasional absence of key worker would not be so significant.

I absolutely would not send DS somewhere where I was unhappy with the attitude of the staff and unless there was a flu epidemic or something, agency staff would ring huge alarm bells with me.

Good luck with the next one.

[mumagainat37]

Hi MerryBerry and everyone, it' my first time messaging but felt I had to share...I am in the exact same position as you, returning to work on the 4 April. My only saving grace is the fact I'm not subject to London prices as we live up North. During todays session at nursery my son (9 months) was so distressed it took him (and me)all evening to recover, so have decided to pull him out of nursery and am visitng a child minder tomorrow. It's not as though I'm new to all this as I have and 18 year old daughter and an 11 year old son! I would suggest look into Nanny share (which would cost a lot less than the nursery were charging you) or with the help of your local Early Years section find a good child minder.Good luck, I'll be interested to know how it turns out for you.Also brilliant idea to discuss at pub,good on ya.

[merryberry]

Thank you for these so helpful comments. I will arrange with nursery b to go see them again early next week, in the meantime my nanny friend is speaking to her mates and i am calling our sure start info service for their childminders info today. while having a nice quiet dayw with young man. it also took ds the whole day to recover! I hope your baby is happy mumagainst37, and congratulations on posting. it took me a fortnight to pluck up the courage. in an idle moment down the pub we worked out that my annual london weighting would pay for 2 weeks of a london nanny:) (if she was young, foreign and not norland etc.

anyway, i wait to see if nursery a call me. mumof2, cat me if you really want to know. i am reluctant to post name on here as they are doing what they can, we are on civil terss, they clearly suit other parents and i don't think there was a complaint-to-ofsted level of problem.

[merryberry]

well, dp came to a play time tea party thing at a mates with kids house today and for the first time saw ds get upset-reactive in a large group.

now any nursery is off, childminder or nanny hunt begins. i think i am relieved as having seen the state of the nursery we tried this week i couldn't imagine trusting any of them, sorry to say, with a young boy who likes a hug every 5 minutes. oops, best cut and paste and post this on the other thread as well.