DS attached only to one KEYWORKER and not nursery???

[SANA]

DS who is 12months has been going to nursery about 5 weeks since I have been back at work. Both DS and I have found the whole thing upsetting as he crys so much when I drop him off but I have been assured he does calm down after I leave. The problem is that he has become really attached to his keyworker who is lovely but sometimes starts late ( so have to do handover to someone he does not know) or maybe out of the room doing nappies and he gets really upset when she is not there. I know the nursery r working on trying to resolve this but yesterday when DH went to pick him up early he saw DS was sitting in the side of the room crying on his own without being comforted. His keyworker was out of the room. DH who is not that assertive just picked up DS and his things and then left. I am know really worried that DS spends his time at the nursery distressed when his Keyworker is doing something else. I rang the nursery today to discuss it and they said DH should have asked the carers at the time what was going on as now it would be hard to clarify the situatio but they would discuss it with his keyworker. I am now worried that I might have caused a mountain out of a molehill. I do trust the nursery but I dont know the best way to approach this??????????????????HELP

[LadyG]

I think you are quite right to have brought it up-dpn't know what else to suggest but am bumping for you in case anyone else can help???

[Pinotmum]

He may have a keyworker but all staff are responsible and you are right to be concerned that he was crying alone without an adult close by.

[madchad]

I suggest that you talk to his key worker as well as the others in the room about your concerns.
The keyworker can't be with him all day long and needs breaks , holiday etc, but it is good that he has an attachment already.
What helped us, was for us to forge relationships with all in the room, so thay see DS as a person with nice caring parents.
No reason why another staff member shouldn't comfort him, in fact essential that they do.
Also ensure that ratios are adhered to-they are supposed to be in effect all the time and not wavered for breaks/nappy change , eg thay should bring two other kids in too if they haven't cover for the nappy change.

[williamsmummy]

A child crying should be recieving comfort from a member of nursery staff. I would point out that when you go back to nursery.

Its quite common for a small child to bond with the key worker, but do to the long day and shift pattern, this affection needs to be spread around at least three people.
Its a fact of life in a busy nursery.
They are not ideal places, and i would think carefully if your child has not adjusted to this after a month.
Some children are fine with a busy day nursery, others are not.
Always remember that day nurserys are a business , a profit making one.


Ask if your baby is being moved from room to room at end of long day?, and if he is happy with a change of room? Or does it make him cry?
does he cry when key worker leaves room?

Ask how they plan to help your child settle in to nursery.
I dont hold with 'he'll get over it brigrade' I have seen that go on a few thousand times in nusery, and those children cling on to a different adult all the time.

good luck
(BTW used to work in a day nursery @ senior level.

[carol3]

have you considered a childminder i've been through nurserys and childminders and would choose a childminder every time, i would be so sad if my baby was crying every time i dropped him off

[getbakainyourjimjams]

childminder definitely.

[SANA]

thanks all for your messages. DS has been better this week but its only Tues. I have been leaving him with a diff carer in the mornings and yesterday he didnt cry at all ( SHOCK) and only a couple of tears today before he got into his breky. I havent been able to speak to his keyworker as she starts at 9am after we have dropped DS off and DH picks him but reluctatnt to discuss the matter with her. DH has also been picking him up at diff times and DS has been playing happily so will have to monitor this situation over next couple of weeks. In hindsight a childminder would have worked but after the struggle of the last 2 months dont want to change things for DS unless he is really unhappy

[EvesMama]

my dd is at private nursery and has a 'key worker', but everyone else helps her if Amy is not there/on lunch/unavailable..sounds very strange as if they're saying he's not 'their' responsability?!!

[miabl2]

Very glad its not just me. DS is 14 months and has been at nursery a couple of weeks, has attached himself to one person and screams everytime she leaves the room. The nursery have suggested coming in more next week to try and get him adjusted but I sympathise cause its really upsetting.

[SamsMIL]

Thank God there are others who feel the same way about 'keyworkers'. Whilst on paper it sounds fab I feel that all the staff within a room should know all the children and parents well. Children should be cared for in small manageable groups with consistent adults so where is the problem? I'm a Nursery Owner and have argued against this in our Nursery - what happens when the key worker is not in, when the child comes in/goes home and they're on a different shift. Do they work 10 hours a day? As a parent I want to discuss my child's day with the person whose handed them over to me - do they say 'I don't know her keyworker has gone home'. If a child forms an attachment to a particular member of staff then let it be their choice - they can decide who they prefer to go to. Don't we prefer some people to be friends with than others. A lot of the reasoning behind the keyworker system is just about communication - if time is taken re. monitoring evaluating etc. and staff talked to each other, children, parents etc. and everything is well-organised there shouldn't be a need. I'm sure it works well for lots of settings it's not for us! A good Nursery should not make you feel that you are causing a fuss if you have concerns - every concern about your child should be dealt with sensitively. They are the most precious thing in your life!!