Potty training and Nurseries

[dollybird]

This is just a bit of a moan really so apologies.
DD has been potty training for two weeks now - it is her second attempt - she was previously out of nappies for 4.5 months but we ended up putting her back in nappies for 3 months because she had been so up and down with it and then just got worse & worse.

Anyway, she has done really well this time as she's a bit older and has been asking for a wee most of the time and not having too many accidents (4 accident free days so far). Tuesday at nursery she had no accidents - brilliant. Yesterday, just as we were leaving the deputy manager came up and said 'she's not done very well with the toilet training today - had quite a few accidents'. I expressed my surprise as she's been doing so well and asking to go and she just said 'well she hasn't been saying anything'. I just said she didn't like being taken all the time as it annoys her to which she responded 'oh, ok'.

She had actually had four accidents during the day which is her worst day so far, but I was just really annoyed as they seem to be expecting a lot of her because it's the second time around maybe. She's still only 2.6 and I expect plenty of others her age might have at least that many accidents in a day and she is very shy at nursery. I think they need to cut her some slack - maybe it was an off day??

Also, why do nurseries insist on continuing to take them every half hour even when you tell them she doesn't need to go that often? I remind her after two hours if she hasn't already been. she hates being taken to the toilet when she doesn't need to go so maybe she's rebelling! :)

sorry for the long post - just getting that off my chest!

[wools]

Hi Dollybird...just wanted to sympathise really. My DS is 2.6 and I started potty training just over a week ago. After a disastrous couple of days, he suddenly seemed to get it and was doing really well. I took him to nursery (he only goes 1 day a week) and they sent me home with 5 changes of clothing and told me that he hadn't managed to go in the potty even once..... - definately worse than at home even in the first couple of days. I was really annoyed (although I didn't show it to them)as I'm sure it's because they go about it all wrong. I wouldn't mind but I was at pains to explain it all to them and clearly not a word of it went in. My DS is the same as your dd, gets very annoyed if you keep putting him on the potty and I've learnt to only do it every 1.5 hours. I'll give them one more chance but if they cock it up I will have to say something to them.

[dollybird]

Thanks for your reply wools. They (the nursery that is), just seem to have their own way of 'potty training' and don't want to budge from it ie keep taking them to the toilet every five minutes until they get to the stage where they ask to go. Thing is, my dd is really shy at nursery and hardly talks to anyone, so this could go on a long time!
I will be telling them with a big smile on my face that she has only had two accidents in the last five days and reiterate just to ask her if she needs to go every 1-2 hours. If she keeps having accidents that's their problem if they're not going to listen to me. [annoyed emoticon]!

[dollybird]

Quick update - told them on Tuesday not to take her and ask her to go maybe every hour. Picked her up and they said they had asked her every half hour! (1 accident). Wednesday, they said she'd not had a good day 'we've been taking her to the toilet but she still had accidents'(3) - grr how do I get it into their thick heads???? This particular girl said she's moved on from saying 'oh dear, try harder next time' to being sterner with her. This really worries me as she's mego shy at nursery anyway and I just think this will make it worse.

[wools]

I totally sympathise....My DS is at nursery today and I'm looking forward to hearing their excuses this evening. He's been doing so well at home, no accidents for 3 days so we shall see.

[dollybird]

Hiya wools. Have spoken to the nursery manager today as don't seem to get through to the staff as they just revert back to what they're used to. She was sympathetic and said she will speak to everyone. I said I don't want them getting cross with her as she's so shy anyway it might make her worse and also might start to feed into toilet training at home. Anyway, fingers crossed! How's your ds doing?

[wools]

That sounds very positive Dollybird - I hope at long last they will listen to you. My ds is doing great thanks....we've had a whole week now without any accidents and even nursery on Friday was fine.