Help in regards to post natal depression and taking antidepressant

[Sbenkalai1]

Hi there,
I had my beautiful baby girl 6 weeks ago, was a difficult birth she was 10.7 for my first baby was in labour for 3 days ended in a c section in which I lost a lot if blood and we both got an infection so we were in hospital for 5 days afterwards. I found the first few days good I looked at her and loved her. We had lots if visitors and although I was in pain I managed. We then came home and had 2 sleepless nights, I felt exausted and the world started to feel really surreal! I breastfed and as she was such a big baby I was up constantly! I started to feel like a milk machine Bd got to the point I was so wound up I couldn't sleep even when she was just lay there worrying about how I would cope the next day feeling so rubbish! The midwife came round and said ur the talk of the hospital after your horrific birth! So that freaked me out and I leapt thinking I would get ill and not be able to look after the baby! As time went on I got really bad insomnia! So I was having one night of sleep and the next none! By this time my partner had gone back to work, at home I couldn't do anything to relax just sat googling symptoms trying to decide if I had postnatal depression or not feeling anxious! I am able to look after the baby but sometimes proper bonding is really hard! Just feel too anxious and worried! Seeing friends ect has been hard, just feel weird n removed. Kept wondering if just tired as love my sleep normally or something more. Have been having acupuncture and went to see a homeopath. Have had some good days but have no interest in normal things. Have lost loads if weight! Just feel panicky and on edge. Doc said to give it till 6 week check which is this week. Had a real panic after 4 weeks n was prescribed sertraline and beta blockers for anxiety. Have tried beta blockers which just made me feel depressed and did little to help! Really don't want to start the antidepressants but feel have no choice! Just want to be a good mummy and girlfriend again! I have everything I have ever wanted just want to enjoy it! Would love to hear from anyone who has beaten this and how ect! Just need some hope xxx

[Ravengem]

Hello there. I just wanted to send you a little note of encouragement. I don't know if you have PND or not but what is clear is that you had a traumatic birth experience and you are short of sleep! All this is very shocking to your body and mind - and at the same time you are coping with a brand new and very demanding experience. It is natural that you don't feel great - in fact, you feel very strange indeed! It sounds to me as if you may be worrying about being worried as well! All the advice to sleep when the baby sleeps can start feeling like pressure too! (I had twins - just lying there thinking 'I must sleep' is enough to put anyone off sleeping!) Can I suggest some very practical steps?
1.Get out into the fresh air every day with your baby. Walk as much as you feel able to, whatever the weather. This will increase endorphins.

1. Eat well - doesn't have to be fancy - bananas, tuna sandwiches, granola cereal with extra seeds - anything easy and nutritious.
2. Avoid caffeine as far as poss.
3. Become like a paramedic. Decide what is the most critical thing to attend to and do that. Ignore everything else until it is done. Then move on to the next thing.
4. Remember that this is a completely new job and cut yourself some slack. All new jobs are very challenging at first - and this is the most challenging of the lot of them.
5. Believe that you will be a good mummy and a girlfriend - it will happen - but this is only week 6 and you have had a more difficult than average start!
6. If you really want to avoid anti-depressants (totally understandable), find a really good book on Mindfulness - I'll be there's one related to childbirth out there somewhere and do what it says!

I had 4 kids in 3 and half years including twins. I know it can feel totally hopeless. It isn't, believe me. Take care of yourself - you can do it, but you must look after yourself as well as your baby. Little steps! Hope I don't sound like a patronising git!

[Sbenkalai1]

Hey what a lovely message thank you! I think your right about the worried about being worried bit! I'm going to the docs tomorrow for the babies 6 week check so am planning in telling the doc everything and then will go from there! Am willing to do whatever it takes to feel better! I agree with you about trying to look after myself and am going to force myself to eat! I think I had a really different view if what being a mum would feel like so it's all come as a massive shock! But I know that something is wrong as can't sleep, eat or do anything I used to enjoy, constantly need somebody with me. I just have to believe that it will get easier with time xxx