To The People Who Owned My House Before Me I Would Just Like To Ask

[MintyyAeroEgg]

Why, why, why, when the kitchen measures 25ft by 12ft, you chose to confine the kitchen area (all the units and appliances) to about 1/3 of the available space, and devote the remaining 2/3 to a dining area - which you chose to CARPET in dark green carpet. I just cannot get my head round what you were thinking of, you silly silly silly twunts.

Anyone else?

[foxinsocks]

Min-eeeeeeeee

I want to know why you (oh ex house owner) put woodchip paper on the walls, stamped out your fags on the carpet in the loo and loved flowery patterns in every room.

Oh and next time you move. Clear out your fucking loft.

[hippipotamiHasLost14Pounds]

Why why why did you turn the second bedroom (which is a double) into the bathroom, instead of using the 12ft x 10ft single bedroom?
What use is having a bathroom you can hold a party in??


And why why why, when you replaced the coving in the living room did you cove across the alcoves instead of going into them as would have been the correct way, and why, when we saw you after we had lived here for a year did you proudly proclaim that you had put the coving in question up? You strange little man!

[onepieceofcremeegg]

Why did you feel it was completely unnecessary to toilet train your dh and 4 little boys?

The bathroom floor was minging with rotten floorboards. Oh and you didn't clean the loo, there was encrusted poo on the outside of the porcelain.

Thanks for leaving me a cupboard full of cleaning products btw, such a shame you didn't feel the need to use one or two of the items yourself.

Oh and it wasn't a particularly fab idea to paint large cartoon characters on the bedroom walls in gloss paint that couldn't be removed.

[PussinJimmyChoos]

Oooh yes!

Why did you not tell us the opening mechanism on bedroom and kitchen windows did not work??! We were broke first time buyers who then had to shell out for new windows!!

Why did you have carpet in the bathroom and tiles with swans under a gold arch on them??!!

Why didn't you clean before you left?? I did not appreciate manky skirting boards, unclean oven and balls of cat hair from your grumpy Persian all over the radiator knobs

And all the artex....seriously....!!

[Habbibu]

Why did you paint the ceiling of the landing salmon pink? And was the green room with the green carpet supposed to be restful in some way?

[hippipotamiHasLost14Pounds]

And why why why did you paint your kitchen ceiling gloss pink? Was it to match the pink lino on the floor?

[MaryMotherOfCheeses]

Purple carpet in the bathroom.

Which smelled so bad we couldn't stay in the room with the door shut when we first moved in.

How could you put up with that? It absolutely stank.

[ChasingSquirrels]

why, having moved (next door) 10 years ago (and the original house having been knocked down and this one rebuilt in it's place) you STILL haven't told all of the people who send mail to you of your new address.

We even got a xmas card from her sister to here a couple of years ago - ffs.

[onepieceofcremeegg]

Oh yes Puss that comment about the oven reminded me.

Our oven had been cleaned - well, someone had squirted liberal amounts of oven cleaner on top of the stale grease and it nearly caused a fire when we switched the oven on.

The first and only meal I cooked in it tasted of oven cleaner

[twoluvlykids]

Why did you make the small bedroom miniture by making the bathroom palatial?

Why did you put in a green bathroom suite?

Where is the hallway wall?

And where oh where is the B.T. telephone line main socket?????

[stealthsquiggle]

OMG Minty are you living in our house's twin - we had exactly the same, even down to the dark green carpet (all ripped out at vast expense and we now have kitchen-to-die-for).

However - having got the answer to that, mine would be 'Beautifully fitted or not, chip paper on the ceilings (as well as walls) - why? [dispairing wail]

[ickletickle]

is your mother in law underneath the concrete patch in the hallway?

[spicemonster]

Why did you accept my offer and then with a week before exchange, decide you wanted 3k extra for the carpets (when there is bare concrete underneath)?

Why did you put borders on the walls? Why did you paint the living room that foul terracotta when the carpet is dark blue???

[feedthegoat]

Did you actually clean the house at all in the 10 years you lived here?

When you told me the kitchen cupboards needed repainting, did it never occur to you they would look fine with the grease removed?

Did you not notice the drips all over every surface you ever glossed?

Why oh why did you feel it nescessary to hammer 50 nails into every wall?

What on earth did you keep in the second bedroom which required 2 such scary looking locks on the outside of the door? (I'm pleased to let you know we've fitted new doors )

[ByTheSea]

Why did you do patch jobs all over the house, so it would fall apart on us and we have to spend a fortune to repair everything properly? Arggghhhh!

Thanks, I need that!

[ABetaDad]

When my parents moved into thir new house the previous owner had held a good bye party and left the sewer blocked and the toilet literally overflowing. The rest of the house was filthy.

The previous owner was a dentist as well - goodness knows what his surgery looked like. Would not have had his hands in my mouth that's for sure.

[bamboo]

Why did you insist on DIY, when you clearly had no aptitude for it? If you'd have paid tradespeople the electrics would not have been potentially lethal and the toilets would not have flushed with hot water (don't ask me how I discovered this).

[onepieceofcremeegg]

Why did you tell me that the reason it took the bath 1 hour to fill was due to low water pressure?

Didn't you think that it might be all of the rubbish that was in the hot water tank obstructing the pipe?!

How did you manage with no shower and 4 dcs?

[smartiejake]

Why did you install double glazed windows that do not fit the holes? (and leave a pile of leftover windows next to the shed)

Why was there an old school lavatory door in the garage? (along with lots of other crap you had stolen aquired from the school where you were deputy head.)

Why did you install all the plumbing with push rubber fittings (lots of leaks.)

Why is the driveway crappy crazy paving?

Why did you install a posh wet room then not slope the floor adequately so it floods into the hall way every time it is used?

Why were all the doors upstairs painted green on the outside and a different colour on the inside?

Why is there a strange shingle bed next to the patio in the back garden? Did you run out of paving stones?

AHHHHHHH! that's better!

[SoupDreggon]

Why do the bedrooms used by your 2 youngest children have locks on the outside?

Although I do find them rather useful...

[stleger]

Why did you not only carpet the bathroom floor, but when you got to cutting round the bath you carpeted up the bath? And how are you still married when you must have had massive rows to have broken all those small panes of glass in internal doors? And why did the neighbours like you so much?

[MaryMotherOfCheeses]

Why did you put a woollen glove down the bath drain? Really, why did you shove it down there?

[Frizbe]

Minty, if my parents weren't still living in the house they'd done this too, I'd think you were living there I have no idea why they've done this, but they seem to think its nice

[PeppermintPatty]

DEcor crimes inflicted on my house:

-Artex on all ceilings

-All the kitchen cupboards are so narrow there's nowhere to put dinner plates

-Old sash windows painted shut, so you can no longer open them

-carpet on the bathroom floor, I agree with you all - it STINKS and is very unhygenic. WHY?

-anaglypta wallpaper. It's a bugger to get off

[StripeyKnickersSpottySocks]

Why when you painted your the sitting room could you not be arsed to move the TV and instead painted round it leaving a TV shape/size patch of wall in a totally different colour?