The Least Professional Moments of My Illustrious Career - Please Feel Free to Add Your Own

(547 Posts)

Please reassure me I am not the only one to behave less than professionally occasionally. So far I have:

Called my boss 'Dad'.

I stood up in front of a major customer's supplier quality improvement conference and informed them, 40 other companies, and my boss ('Dad')that "Quality Improvement programs usually come in steps - ours is a 12 step program".

I started a new role in my company, went to a conference with representatives from all the company sites who were now relying on me to ensure the correct products reach them with the correct test reports, labels and packaging. I introducted myself by saying "Good morning, my name is Angela Hernandez". 30 faces went hmm and a voice from the back went "No, it isn't". The real Angela Hernandez (our Quality Director), known to them all for the past 25 years looked very confused as to why I was apparently trying to impersonate her. Not so confused as I looked, obviously.

squeaver Wed 19-Nov-08 15:20:41

Fell asleep in a meeting.

Called a colleague (not my boss) "darling".

Excused myself from a meeting to throw up - hangover.

I once met a really, really important client on a Saturday in a park and I had a TOTAL blank about who he was. he recognised me; I'd have walked straight past him. Thankfully he introduced himself to my dh so I didn't have to ask his name. I'd been in a meeting with him for five hours the day before blush blush

Bramshott Wed 19-Nov-08 15:20:59

A long time ago, I was the only person in the office to do induction with a new staff member. Unfortunately I'd had one too many vodkas the night before, and couldn't move from the 'horizontal on the floor groaning' position until well past lunchtime. blush The new staff member is now much more successful and high-powered than me blush but I'm sure she still remembers!

PuppyMonkey Wed 19-Nov-08 15:20:59

I just went out to do some vox pop interviews with members of the public (don't ask) and during the first interview my pen ran out and the woman I was interviewing had to give me her pen as I had no money to buy another one. blush It's a very nice pen.

I also often call a colleague of mine by my 19 mo dd's name. blush

UnquietDad Wed 19-Nov-08 15:21:07

MadamD - ohhhhh, I seeeee..... Thanks. I genuinely didn't get that! Surely If I didn't get it then lots of other people... didn't?...

[coat]

squeaver Wed 19-Nov-08 15:21:21

Oh, lost my passport too, the night before a major trip.

littlelapin Wed 19-Nov-08 15:22:27

oh goooood thread grin

Boco Wed 19-Nov-08 15:22:27

I over rehearsed my equal opportunities spiel for a job interview at a disability charity. I messed it up though and said
'I believe in equality of access for all life forms'.

I then imagined aliens using ramps to get into supermarkets and got the panic stricken giggles. You know the kind that comes out in a kind of blast? They looked generally unimpressed.

Didn't get the job.

On my very first business trip with my new boss we went out to dinner. Unbeknown to me she was a heavy drinker. In an attempt to ingratiate myself I matched her drink for drink...... and never made the conference the following day because I couldn't stop throwing up. She was completely fine.

milkysallgone Wed 19-Nov-08 15:23:17

My dh once texted to me "Urgent, ring me now!" I panicked and rang him immediately, onlt to find it was a cunning plan to excuse him from a meeting so he could let rip an almighty fart!

Pinkjenny Wed 19-Nov-08 15:23:19

On the first day of a new job, my new boss took me to lunch, and I, stupidly ordered chicken kiev.

As I put my knife into the chicken kiev, the butter just squirted out at him, onto his tie. It was awful.

Another one, from work experience when I was about 15. One of my front teeth was a crown then, and had a tendency to come out. I was taken to a meeting with some suppliers, who offered me a coffee, and as I took the first mouthful, my tooth fell out into the bottom of the mug. I had to try and drink the scalding hot coffee in record quick time, without letting anyone see, and then tip the mug really high to retrieve said tooth. I managed to get it back in without anyone noticing. I still die a little inside when I remember it.

I sat in another meeting, the tea trolley came around, I bought a juice box. The juice wasn't coming out. For some reason I thought I could look down the straw and see a blockage while it was still in the box. I gave the box a good squeeze and a jet of juice shot out and splashed all over my glasses. This struck me as so hysterically funny I was pretending to cough for another 30 minutes (once I start laughing I just can't stop). The other people in the meeting must have wondered what on earth was so amusing about carbon fibre computer board racks.

littlelapin Wed 19-Nov-08 15:24:51

snigger - snigger! grin

HowardMoon Wed 19-Nov-08 15:26:03

I have moments during every interview where I briefly stop listening to whoever is talking and get distracted by their big ears/facial moles/badly applied makeup. I then have to drag myself back and try and cobble together an answer to the question they have just asked. Think Spud in Trainspotting, but without the speed of course.

Thank you for that Boco, now I can't stop laughing - again.

JackieNo Wed 19-Nov-08 15:32:50

ROFL - this has had me almost pmsl. Fab thread grin.

janeite Wed 19-Nov-08 15:33:11

Boco - your life forms one reminds me of Simon Groom on Blue peter saying they were collecting money for "Blind dogs for the guides" - still makes me giggle!

SexyDomesticatedDad Wed 19-Nov-08 15:34:01

Once did a presentation in US and talked about doing a design on a fag packet - got some very hmm odd looks from audience.

snigger Wed 19-Nov-08 15:34:20

Equal access for all life forms - I'm going to remember that in the middle of a meeting and snort, I know it. God, that's funny.

[wheeze] [sniff] [wipes eyes]

igivein Wed 19-Nov-08 15:36:42

Whilst working as a senior CSI I strode purposefully and professionally into a murder scene, tripped up over the body (that I hadn't noticed!)and ended up sprawled on the floor next to him.

codling Wed 19-Nov-08 15:37:20

i once sent a note to a colleague (a mate)asking for some text books.
She sent the note back saying they were "not in hear".
I sent it back saying" God you are shit at spelling"

It was a supply teacher.

milkysallgone Wed 19-Nov-08 15:38:05

PMSL igiviein!!

sparklestickchick Wed 19-Nov-08 15:39:22

probably not as career minded as many of you sad but in the throes of labour a male consultant was called who proceeded to examine me internally whilst explaining to s many students that would fit into the room how best to perform an epesiosotomy(sp) came to the head of the bed and in a shocked voice said 'oh its miss Dee ,my sons favourite nursery nurse'blush- he was very pleased to see me hmm but despite seeing me several times a week hadnt realised i was pregnant!!-he told all my colleagues v proudly hed performed the epesiostomy too blush

littlelapin Wed 19-Nov-08 15:39:52

SDD, I was still a smoker at uni in the States, and asked someone in a bar if I could "bum a fag". blush Definitely 2 nations separated by a common language!

Blinglovin Wed 19-Nov-08 15:41:24

igivein - is that really true? It's both hilariously funny and horrifying, all at the same time!!!! And I could totally see ithappening on CSI or something on the telly!

I keep giggling inappropriately at my desk!

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