To ask you to tell me a story where your DC have humiliated you...

[HuskyBlueEyes]

Its 12am, i'm not tired and curious as to what lovely things your DC have done/said which is resulted in severe cringing on your behalf...

4 yr DS announced to the till lady today that she was a "pretend lady because ladies don't have face hair..."

He asked me the other day why I didn't have facial hair like dad and I said women don't get it. This till lady did have a rather noticeable amount of upper lip hair and I packed the items with rather flushed cheeks after a quiet apology. She wasn't very amused, and luckily DS picked up on her facial expression and avoided anymore talking... The shame.

[StarSwirl92]

My little brother shouted at a couple walking their dog at the beach 'Look its the ugliest dog in the world!' and 'There it is again!' when they walked by.

[Bubblegoose]

DD (speaking loudly in local language): Mummy, that lady is really fat!
Me (in English): Don't say that, it's really rude.
DD (in local language): Mummy, why are you telling me in English not to say that lady there is really fat?

[steff13]

#1 son, at age 2, pulled down my shirt at the library and said "boobies."
At age 3, he went up to a man at the park that and told him he shouldn't smoke because smoking is "bad, and yucky, and it will make you sick."
At age 6, we took him to the ER because we thought he had appendicitis. They took his temperature rectally, which he had never experienced before. They sent us back out to the waiting room, and he suddenly shouted (REALLY loudly), "hey, what did that guy do to my butt?!"

#2 son, at age 2, told the cashier at Target she didn't have a penis because she was a girl, and girls don't have penises.
At age 3, he pointed at a woman we followed out of the ladies' room at Walmart and said, "mommy, that lady didn't wash her hands!" in front of all of the people waiting to check out.

[RonaldMcDonald]

Told my grandmother's minister that mummy didn't believe in God, she believes in wine....

[Joysmum]

When breast feeding in public, my DD daughter decided to unlatch and lean back to scream like she was being murdered which resulted in everyone turning to look at me with my breast fully on show

She also went through a stage of calling random men 'dad' because she thought dad meant man

[SoldAtAuction]

DD, aged 3, saw a very fat man standing beside us, huffing and puffing, while we waited to cross the street.
She asked very loudly, if the "the man was having constractions?"She may not have got the word quite right, but he knew what she meant!

[Unimaginativecow]

MIL got my DS1 a rocking chair for his birthday and he asked if it had vibrators meaning like DC2's baby bouncer. Then he looked MIL in the eye and said "do you have a vibrator".

[flyingspaghettimonster]

Last weeks daughter (10) was asked by her guidance counselor what her career goal is. She thought about it and I assumed she was going to say 'biologist' or 'geneticist' as she is keen to be just like her father. No - apparently her new choice is 'cashier'. This lead to a discussion about how cashiers don't get to keep all the money in the tills and that it is a job, not a career (the guidance counselor told her all this). Fast forward to the weekend and we went to the video store - a local one run by some true movie lovers and their very loyal staff. Right at the till, in front of the owner and several employees, she asks "mommy, is working in the video store a career, or is it a dead end job like a cashier?" - that was a fun one to wriggle out of.

[sadiekillmouski]

My best friend's son, at about age three, was taken to Easter Mass. As such young children will do, he began to fidgit. His dear Grandmother whispered to him "Now Tommy, don't you want to be good for Jesus?" And Tommy replied, clear as a bell, "No! I hate Jesus!" Tommy is now twenty two and will never live that one down...

[ClemencePoesy]

My 12 year old told his stepmum he heard me fart in the room above him that morning, I was present at the time but found it really funny as I knew he was completely making it up. I'm sure she just thought I was lying in bed farting like some windy slattern.

Like steff I've had my toddler try to pull down my top and scream, 'these are my mummy' s boobies' whilst having a chat with someone who was a mere acquaintance. The joys of extended bf I guess.

They are normally extremely polite, well brought up boys...honest.

[TicTicBOOM]

DS went through a stage of calling out "DADDY!!!" to every black man he saw. We live in a very white area, the only black man he knew at the time was DH... I got a lot of from the accused but I was mortified!

He got a sticker from the lady in the greengrocer. Woman behind him acted impressed and asked if she could have one too. DS declared "Nope, stickers are for little boys and you are a old lady!"

[TinyTear]

we were going to have a 1 hour bus trip after a 4 hour train journey, so i put my nearly 2yo DD on my lap on the bus and she knows what is coming so SHOUTS "booby out!!"

[monkeymamma]

Heheh great stories here.

Ds (2) ATM loves telling anyone who'll listen 'mummy done poo-poo'. I have no idea why. He loves 'tiw-yets' and poo-poos and wee-wees. Like all kids this age he will also pull my top down absent-mindedly during conversations with strangers.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

With the benefit of hindsight DS seeing a huge woman in a crowded service station perched on one of those tall stools with her ample bum spilling over on either side just said what everyone else was thinking really....

[QueenofallIsee]

I have told this one before but my personal hell was my DD asking very seriously of a family member if her DP was happy now as I had said he was a 'sad little man'

No way to recover from that one

[Thebluedog]

I was in tesco toilets with my dd, there was a queue outside too. When my dd asks, in a loud voice 'mummy, why do you have a hairy bottom'

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Not really humiliation but, at my lovely gran's funeral, he asked very loudly why were we putting that box in a hole!?! I swear I could hear her laughing...

[MotherOfInsomniacToddlers]

When holding my 2 year olds arm in order to get on a bus while also pushing a pram and she shouted "don't break my arm again mummy!"

[FruitbatAuntie]

My DS1, aged about 18m, was in the trolley in ASDA and I was browsing the clothing section. There was a lady nearby who was wearing leggings with a thong. She bent over to look at something on the bottom rack, and her thong was sticking out over the top of her leggings iyswim. DS1 leant over from the trolley and 'twanged' her thong! . The poor woman jumped about ten feet into the air and spun round as if she was about to hit someone, before seeing it was a one year old and laughing. I was mortified.

[SomethingkindaOod]

While walking through the local park DS when quite young asked me "Mum what's a vagina?" That was fun...
DD1 used to put her hand down my top and have a rummage when she sat on my knee. DD1 was formula fed so god knows what she thought she was going to get.
DD2 calls the man in the paper shop Dad. He finds this hilarious as DD is a blond haired blue eyed child. He is of Indian origin. Fortunately he has a daughter of around the same age so understands. She's worked out that she gets a treat off him if she's exceptionally cute about it so she does it every bloody time we go in she's 2 btw.

[Binkyridesagain]

My DD when she was 4 (she has made it to 22 Just) announced very loudly to a bunch of strangers on a bus (a small bus which was very full) that the previous night I had got drunk and was dancing naked on the bar at the pub. I tried to argue back (why?) but the hole just got deeper as she repeatedly said that it was true because she had seen me do it.

[PotatoPolly]

not my dc but my dsis, was having a conversation with the male nurse putting a cast on her arm, for some reason announced that our dad has a spotty bum! gonna blame that one on the pain!
Love the thong twanging story, that's brilliant

[Stockhausen]

Ds loves the wine section in the supermarket, it's made to be dark & cosy, all wood cladding & plastic grapes... So he always asked to go round that way when he was in the trolley. He has then announced loudly things along the lines of "oh look, it's mummy favourite.... WINE!" And "you'll be happy now mummy, since you've got wine!"

[Tailtwister]

DS2 always loves to announce what I'm doing when I'm in a public toilets. "Mummy, you're doing a poo!" is one of his favourites and is usually accompanied by some sniggering from the cubicle next to us.

[Joysmum]

Another one that came to mind was after my DD had done a sex ed class, she then very publicly asked DH is he'd ever had a wet dream