My tip of the day for you all.

(324 Posts)
MissStrawberry Fri 04-Oct-13 09:07:28

You can thank me later.

When you want to get out of the car, it is always sensible, and useful, to take your seat belt off first.

You're welcome grin.

Ezza1 Fri 04-Oct-13 10:26:12

Its usually best to boil potatoes in water as opposed to a dry pan.

DanielMcSpaniel Fri 04-Oct-13 10:26:49

Ok this one isn't me, its the person who I bought my house from:

Don't apply for new buildings & contents insurance costing £600 using your old address. You may find its not valid as you last lived there 6 years ago.

When nervously lying in the dentist chair and being told by the dentist that "he's going to do some impressions now", don't start launching into a monologue of "Oooh. What you going to do?! A bit of Jimmy Saville? "Now then. Now then" Oh no. We can't do him anymore can we? How about Columbo? "Jussht one more thing...""

It will be met by stony faced silence and leave the impression (no pun intended) that you are clearly quite mad confused

You're welcome smile

lucysmam Fri 04-Oct-13 10:43:33

haha, this thread has had me giggling all the way to town with dd2 grin grin

My own personal tip.....

hairspray and deodorant do NOT live in the fridge....or pantry.....or under the sink!! It took me four goes the other day to get them back to the bathroom shelf where they DO live hmm

ZingWantsCake Fri 04-Oct-13 10:48:08

don't ever expect your children to be ready on time in the morning.

I hear you say "but what about a 12-year-old?"

sorry? are you actually mad? don't you know that ALL children have selective amnesia when it comes to the simple routine of breakfast-bathroom - clothes on?

Also don't use the word "hurry" as they will only hear "take your time, no rush and best if you wind your brother up so he doesn't get ready either"

so don't fight it and just accept it that they have the upperhand and you will never win the game of "Morning Rush"!

IvanaCake Fri 04-Oct-13 10:51:04

When carrying out your pre-bed beauty routine in the dark, make sure you put toner on your face and not nail varnish remover.

ZingWantsCake Fri 04-Oct-13 10:54:29

a car key is a far superior tool to a breadstick or a pencil when you attempt to turn the engine on.
just sayin'

Zing, are you the oracle?

ZingWantsCake Fri 04-Oct-13 10:56:21

don't cut off your eyelashes

ZingWantsCake Fri 04-Oct-13 10:56:47

grin

ZingWantsCake Fri 04-Oct-13 10:59:49

don't wash disposable nappies in the washing machine. it doesn't end well

Steffanoid Fri 04-Oct-13 11:00:39

when you have fallen over and smashed your knees up 2 days ago try to actually avoid kneeling at every opportunity because it hurts now and will every time

NoComet Fri 04-Oct-13 11:02:16

Remember to press end call, when leaving a message on schools answer phone.

GinGuzzler Fri 04-Oct-13 11:02:39

Zing I have done that so many times. I had to hoover the drum of the washing machine out contless times. The mess... It gets EVERYWHERE!!!

ZingWantsCake Fri 04-Oct-13 11:02:49

there's no such thing as "child-proof"
it's a con

GinGuzzler Fri 04-Oct-13 11:06:29

Never wrap your comb up with your fringe. I am still the butt of everyones jokes at work 5 year later after a colleague had to assist me to cut it out. I lost my fringe and my pride that day. My fringe was a mere tuft about 4mm long. I could do not a thing with it except get another cut in using hair from further back but I had to wait 2 days till my days off to go the hairdresser...

SalBeautyMoll Fri 04-Oct-13 11:07:06

grin grin

Loving these I feel more normal now

ZingWantsCake Fri 04-Oct-13 11:09:37

Zing's Laws of Motion (of children)

1. the louder you shout the slower they get

2. the less time you have the slower they get

3. the more distracted/busy you are the more active they get (making mess, fighting etc)

in summary whatever you do you are fuckef

ZingWantsCake Fri 04-Oct-13 11:10:36

fucked even

Mine is a driving one, ensure when reversing out onto your road that you do not do so into the path of a police car who was (slowly) driving out of the farm track opposite.

Not my finest driving moment.

MissStrawberry Fri 04-Oct-13 11:35:35

< has warm glow at helping so many people grin >

I have thought of another one. Always check you actually put the kettle on to boil after flicking the switch to filter the water through. <wasted pint of stock>.

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Fri 04-Oct-13 11:46:06

<takes notes>

Don't try and flush a poo down the sink.

Don't put your dirty knickers in the toilet.

Don't think that icing sugar will be an adequate substitute in your coffee.

It is recommended that you don't use After Sun as hair conditioner.

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Fri 04-Oct-13 11:46:43

The deodorant instead of dry hair shampoo actually works though blush

goodasitgets Fri 04-Oct-13 11:49:32

If you piss off a cat, it gets revenge by waking you at 4am brewbrew
Hth grin

redexpat Fri 04-Oct-13 11:59:13

Slow cookers are brilliant, especially when you go out for the day and come home to a lovely cooked meal ready. This is generally more successful if you plug the slow cooker in.

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