to warn you all to take out the extended warranty on your child?

[entropygirl]

I didn't as I didn't think it was good value for money at the time and now I am stuck with a faulty child!

A, by no means comprehensive, list of the faults includes:

The emission of stinking substances of various consistencies and colours; no understandable speech but instead the child has started emitting high pitch yells for no apparent reason; a total lack of musical ability; a tendency to use noodles as a weapon of mass destruction; a faulty sleep mode which fails intermittently throughout the day and night; and some sort of failure in the mobility function which causes falling and bumping.

I suppose as I have only had the product (of conception) for 10 months I may be able to get a refund under the manufacturers guarantee instead?

[WorraLiberty]

10 months?

Sounds like most teenagers to me

[FondleWithCare]

I've lost my receipt, is there anything I can do?

[manicbmc]

Can you return as faulty goods?

Mine just seems to emit grunts, sleep and eat. But I think I've left it too long now. Would I get a refund after 17 years?

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

Mine are 12yo and alomost 10 yo.

I'm assuming the warranty ran out at 10 yo.

No way am I sending them back

Ouch!

[wilmot]

Have you tried replacing the batteries? Or switching him off then on again?

[Clytaemnestra]

Think about it. Do you want to try and send it back?

Ouch.

[Raggydoll]

ahh, but is it 'fit for purpose'... if we agree that its purpose is to drive any adult within a 10 mile radiius to distraction then I am afraid it is and in you will not be getting a full refund of your investment. You could always try again for a better one ;-)

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

I can't even take mine back to the hospital where they were spawned.It closed down.
Weird that and a bit of a coincidence

Do you think they had alot of dodgy returns and went out of business?

[marriedinwhite]

Oh we used to joke that if we had paid for ours, we would have returned him to the shop. Didn't feed (from boob), didn't sleep, asthmatic, bad ears, cried a lot, potential demolition agent.

Hang on OP - do all the right things and eventually the model you send forth to school and to friends for tea will attract compliments and smiles. You might not see it at home but that it isn't what really really matters in the long run.

Looks at ds's size 11's in the hall and counts cost of feeding a 6'2" teenager and is sorry he doesn't want to be in my company or come to the occasional adult event with me and dh because I would like to people to see he is mine because I am proud. DD too of course but I am sort of guessing you are talking about a first born.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

I can't even RTFI.

Mine was born without the instruction manual.

[entropygirl]

Sorry - I was away dealing with the sleep mode fault....

Well I got a sort of second hand worn instruction set from a previous generation model but to be honest we did all that stuff and it still broke....

[entropygirl]

Yes I suppose returning to sender would be an issue...especially as the delivery men/women were so rude....

They just didnt want to know about how small the letterbox was and how very large the parcel...

Would NOT recommend!

[McHappyPants2012]

www.amazon.co.uk/The-Haynes-Baby-Manual-Conception/dp/1844250598?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

hopw this solve a few of the faults

[Kayano]

Mine works fine! Maybe you have a dodgy supplier?

They must have secretly upgraded me as a first time customer deal because mine came with an inbuilt routine and a very efficient sleep mode that works consistently at 8 weeks.

take yours back op

[MrsShitty]

I complained about mine about a month into parenthood but the retailer informed me that the "quirks" were clearly stated as possibilities within the terms and conditions.

I spoke to consumer helpline and everything but no luck.

It makes me mad! These "quirks" are basically so relentless that I have visibly aged since my purchas.

[youarekidding]

Find the remote - it should come with a mute button, power botton and subtitles. That should solve a few of the issues.

[Kayano]

I will admit my 'sleepy baby 2012' model did have a faulty feeding mechanism
So I had to purchase some
Extra attachments...

They were:
Formula
Bottles
Steriliser

Fixed my problem and actually made
The product better as DH was then able to use it

[entropygirl]

Kayano I am indeed taking it up with my supplier...but I wouldn't go too far in recommending your supplier unless you really want to share....

[youarekidding]

ARF @ kayano Oh and congratulations I'm presuming this is a very new model?

saves post to C&P on teenage thread in 12 years

[Moominsarescary]

Mine can't use the washing machine and makes funny whining noises when told it is not possible at 9 o'clock to do a coloured wash and a White wash that will be ready for the morning.

Putting clothes in wash basket function is also broken on him

[entropygirl]

hmmm I found the remote but there is just one large red button marked 'Do Not Press'

I think I will skip it for now....

[Chubfuddler]

Kayano just how new is your model? At eight weeks mine slept consistently all night without any extra attachments. Has progressively deteriorated in last four months.

[entropygirl]

chub mine didn't even make it back from the hospital in one piece...

[youarekidding]

Mine did that too chub but I found when he started eating me out of house and home at about 6 months he settled again and the sleep function has worked well since.

The lie in function may be faulty though

[entropygirl]

IS that the snooze button that's gone?