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Newly pregnant with twins/15 month old DS

17 replies

alexh · 11/10/2006 11:10

Tips about coping when they arive????

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frumpygrumpy · 11/10/2006 12:56

Hi alex, congratulations and is your head spinning? Mine was, afer I stopped crying!! I have a dd (5) and dts (2).

We struggling mums of multiples meet daily on the "d'y ever" thread near this one. I found life got a lot happier once I found the girls on there and could share the good, the bad, and the crazy! I struggled for a while and having the chance to chat to others who understood was a huge help for me.

Expect life to go a bit crazy, prepare to have to let go of lots of things and get a support system in place now. The early weeks I found really hard, beautiful times with a lot of joy but constant round the clock work (I kept coming into the room and saying "my god, there's two babies" for about 4 months) .

I tried and tried to make it work by myself (my parnter works away) and I just ended up a sweaty wreck. I got in a lady two evenings a week (who also cleaned) and my mum helped two evenings a week. The girls on here wil have lots of suggestions for help (some have used local teenagers as extra hands or trainee nursery nurses from college).

Join us whenever you can, there are twins due any day now so keep watching and keep posting!

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waterfalls · 11/10/2006 13:07

My top tip is do your danmdest to keep thier routines the same, otherwise it really will feel like all you do all day is feed and change nappies, especially try and keep there nap times the same so you have have some free baby time, my dts are 3 yrs in a couple of months and I stil find it hard going when occasionaly thier routines sync out of line.

Oh and when they are a little bigger bouny chairs are a must have

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waterfalls · 11/10/2006 13:08

bouncy chairs.......even.

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Overrun · 11/10/2006 13:11

hello alexh,
Well probably impossible to stop you worrying. I felt so anxious during the pregnancy that I think the actaul event although hard wasn't as bad as my worse imaginings
My ds1 was 20 months when the twins were born, they are all boys. Twins are now 23 months.
The only real positive I can offer is that they will all be very close.
Please just accept as much help as you can, and however hard it is, the first year will be a bit of a blank in retrospect, so try and take photos or keep records if you can (bloody hard I know)

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glamourbadger · 11/10/2006 13:39

Hi alex - big congratulations! Having twins has been an amazing experience and the lovely ladies on this board v useful when I pop up with random questions.

Like frumpygrumpy I would suggest getting some help - at least for the first few months. I had a lovely girl who would come and do a feed for me twice a week so I could sleep, this really made the difference between coping and not.

Mine were prems so a huge struggle at first - I went a bit mental from lack of sleep and began to resent the fact I had two tiny babies when all the other mums had such a comparitively easy life with one born at term. Now they are 6 months (4 corrected) and I feel so blessed I had two at once - seeing them interact and get to know each other is pretty special. I've stuck to a fairly rigid routine which has worked well for me. I believe the consistency has helped them sleep through the night so early.

I was looking at the Tamba site the other day and someone has posted a useful list of things to think about here . Bouncy chairs a must, I've found my swinging chair useful and bumbos now they are a bit bigger. Basically lots of things to sit them in. Forever picking one up and putting one down!

Good luck with your pregnancy

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waterfalls · 11/10/2006 13:46

glamourbadger

my dts were prem too (7.5 weeks) and it was hard, especially as dt1 was born vaginally and dt2 by emergency C section 12 minutes later, then ds came down with a severe case chicken pox the very next day and wanted me home, but I also stuck to my routines and by 11 weeks dts were sleeping through the night.

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alison222 · 11/10/2006 17:40

One of the children I look after has just had twin siblings he was 21 mths when they were born.
Our local colleges that teach diploma in childcare are always looking for families to place their students with to get some experience of working with newborn babies.
It is free to you. Obvoiusly they are not to be left alone with the children but it is an extra pair of hands to help you dress, change nappies, cuddle etc.
Perhaps there is something similar near you? they do get booked up around here so you need to enquire quite early

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jambuttie · 16/10/2006 17:14

I fell pg with my dts when ds1 was 15 months too.

Take all the help you get offered hun. It may seem really tough to start with but it is all worth while

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leogaela · 17/10/2006 12:43

Hi Alexh. Congratulations on your twin pregnancy!!!
I'm 19 weeks pregant with twins! Ds will be just about 2 when they are born. The advice and support here is great. The twin and more mothers have coped and done a huge lot more than cope, they are an inspiration! My inital worries were focused on how we/I would cope after the birth, but at the moment i can't think beyond the pregnancy and birth....!

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alexh · 18/10/2006 11:58

TBH my main worry at the moment is that I really don't feel too bad. Am 7 weeks, get the occasional wave of nausea and am a little tired in the evening but in general feel MUCH better than at this stage last time. Terrified that this means all is not well

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throckenholt · 18/10/2006 12:04

hi Alexh,
another twin mum here - mine are 3/75 id boys, and I have a Ds1 who is 5.25.

How do you know it is twins so early ? My morning sickness kicked in about 8-9 weeks and was bad - but stopped about 12-13 weeks I think.

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alexh · 19/10/2006 15:56

I had a very early dating scan at 5+4 which showed twins - but apparently 20% of twin pregnancies at this stage show "vanishing twin syndrome" so it may well be that by my next scan (8+4) there will only be 1. Frankly I'd settle for one good heartbeat at the moment - not feeling nearly as rough as last time and am paranoid about things not going well......

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MarsLady · 19/10/2006 16:00

congrats alexh.

I know twin mums (like me) who were sick constantly and some (spit spit!) who were hardly sick if at all.

Hope all goes well with the scan. All I can say atm is to take one day at a time. We're all over on the d'y ever still wonder thread. Come join us (when you are brave enough to face the joy/horror/wonder of having twins!)

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Lucybee · 20/10/2006 16:22

Hi all, I am new but think you may have some tips for me too! My first son will be one at the start of November and I am expecting twin girls at the end of January! As I am soon to be 39 we didn't think we should hang about when planning baby 2, little did we know it would happen so quickly and we would end up with baby 2 and 3. Initial panic has subsided but now I am simply reading too much into everything my consultant says. I think I can't really believe that we will produce two healthy babies. I had a scan yesterday and he thinks that they are a little small for their stage, but says its nothing to worry about. Our son weighed 9lbs 8oz at birth so the last thing I expected was for them to be on the small side. Has anyone else had this comment during a scan? They are expected to be identical. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

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Overrun · 20/10/2006 16:33

HI Lucybee, I was alwasy told that mine were a bit smaller than average but reassured that it was not a problem, esp for twins.
I know what you mean about obsessing about consultations. I would alwasy go away from a new anxiety or niggle. I guess you will just have to ask her/him.
My stated earlier in the thread I have quite a small gap between my three. I remember the shock when are plans to have a small gap with two siblings turend to three.
Good luck wiht it all, and please join the major twins thread

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Judy1234 · 20/10/2006 22:03

I got a very good US book on twins from the library, can't remember the name. It said make sure you eat enough of the right healthy foods which made sense.

Tips to cope when they arrive. Breastfeed - it's easier, cheaper and quicker. Always feed them at the same time and wake the other if one wakes to feed. Put them to bed at the same time every night. Go back to full time work as soon as you can - only way I survived although I expect I'm in a minority of one on that one.

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Lucybee · 21/10/2006 08:58

Thanks girls for your reassuring messages. It is a relief to know that they can measure small as twins and although I haven't felt very hungry I am making a point of snacking between meals as I think, as you say, that I need to make sure I'm getting lots of extra nutrients. Also good tip on feeding at the same time, I'd imagine if not it could end up like an never ending cycle of feeding and settling. Not sure if I'll get back to work, would prefer to work part time but not even sure if that will be possible. How many of you guys work with twins plus?

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