Controlled crying with twins

[chocolatedrops31]

My twins are almost 5 months and are both up numerous times a night..one is much worse than the other and basically can't self settle. We are getting 2-3 hrs sleep on a good night and it's really really getting to me. I also have a 3 year old. They are on a good strict routine but nothing seems to help and I was thinking about controlled crying (probably not until they're 6 months). Has anyone tried this with twins and if so how (did you separate the twins while doing so) and what were the results? This is not something I would normally consider but am pretty desperate . Thank you

[shushpenfold]

Gosh, I feel for you and remember this well (only one at a time though!) My friend with twins did this and separated them in rooms as far away from each other as she could. It worked in exactly the same way with 1 as for 2. Positive vibes coming your way. x

[chocolatedrops31]

Thanks shushpenfold. Does that mean that it worked?! Do you remember what age they were and how long it took? Thank you :)

[shushpenfold]

It did and I suspect the same age as yours.....we both did it well before 1yr. I remember the joy 3 days later when your baby waves at you at bedtime before self settling......real happiness for all involved.

[Tinks30]

Hi, don't despair. It will get better. I did controlled crying when my twins were 4 months old. My OH was on a week of night shifts so I decided to do it solo (usually one of us caves if we're together!)
It took a whole week of hard work and commitment but it was so worth it.
So after I put them down (they were still co-sleeping) in my room if they started crying I'd wait 1 min before going in and calming them down. Then the next time another 1 min then after a while I increased it to 2 mins etc until I think I waited 7 minutes by which point they got themselves off to sleep.
I really advocate controlled crying. My girls are generally really good sleepers. They get themselves off. No rocking, or going in constantly. They're almost three now and sometimes I feel rather smug at how easy we have night times. Some if my friends are still rocking their singletons to bed and I managed it with two!
If we have the rare night of disturbed sleep unless they're poorly we stick to the 10 min rule and we maybe get to 8 mins before they settle.
You can do it!

[chocolatedrops31]

Thanks Tinks, I really appreciate your support. If they were together while you were doing it, didn't they wake each other up? Mine go down ok but later in the night they repeatedly wake and I'm worried that if I let them cry then, they'll spark each other off. However I'm also concerned that if I separate them to do it they'll learn to settle themselves but one won't be in her own cot.. Finally did you find nights were disturbed again when on holiday? We are going away in September so am wondering if I should wait until after we are back (they'll also be over 6 months then)..although cannot bear another 8 weeks of these nights...sorry for all the questions and thanks so much for your help

[Twicethehugs]

If it's not something you'd usually consider, think about safe co-sleeping. Especially if you're breastfeeding. It was the only way I survived the early months as they woke up to feed so often and I couldn't keep getting out of bed! It will get easier though in time I promise, mine are 17 months now. I hope you find something that helps you get more sleep soon.

[stinkypants]

I did cc with both of my older ds' s and would strongly recommend. 3 nights of hell for years of easy nights. I'm expecting twins and plan to avoid the need for it to be so hard by not "helping" (I.e. feeding or rocking) them to sleep right from the start. That's the plan! !

[EvilTwins]

I did it with my twins at about 4 months. Took 3 or 4 nights, but my god did we reap the rewards. They were together apart from one night where we moved one of them. After that though they never woke each other up with crying and now they sleep through anything (they're 8) Even slept through the thunder storms the last two nights!

[deadwitchproject]

I did this with my twins when they were 6 months old. They sleep in the same room and were constantly waking one another up and as a family we were all so sleep deprived and unhappy. They were no longer waking at night to feed and had also just dropped the dream feed as they took to solids really well.

I kept them in the same room and timed going in to see them, quickly increasing it by a few minutes.

It was tough, we had a setback at day three but it took 5 days in total and by day 9 we were such a happy family! I'm not sure exactly how many minutes it took on day 5 as both of us forgot to start the clock.

Now they go in their cots happily awake. Sometimes they sleep immediately, sometimes it takes them up to 1 hour but there's no crying (usually just conversations/babble with one another).

Good luck.

[Tinks30]

My girls have always been in the same room. Personally I couldn't bear the idea of separating them but that's personal preference plus I know they'd miss one another.
Sometimes they'd wake each other but more often than not it would just be one. I find now that if do have a disturbed night only one twin will wake. I don't know though
You've still got a while til sept so I would give it ago now and if the holiday does disturb your routine which would be expected to be honest you can get right on track as soon as you get back.
Honestly as one of the other posters commented for a few hard nights you will reap the benefits for years......and be smug about what good sleepers you've got

[Tinks30]

The other thing I recommend is that when you put them down initially make sure they go in their cots awake. If my girls fell asleep on the bottle I would gently rouse them. That way if they woke they wouldn't get confused.
Good luck! X

[settingsitting]

Same as shush.

[2014TwinMummy]

Have you tried this yet, chocolatedrops? Ours are also just 5 months and we've been doing some cc to settle in an evening. One settles well with a dummy but the other previously only went to sleep after endless jiggling, rocking, shushing etc. She is now settling much better on her own both at bedtime and for daytime naps. Both of ours generally only wake once between 7 and 6 for a feed and at moment, they still need the feed I think. However, once I am confident of them not needing food for 11-12 hours i shall be doing cc in the night too. We did it with my eldest DS around 7 months and as other posters had said, it is short term pain for massive long term gain. If you're sure they're not hungry, go for it! Are they still in same room?

[chocolatedrops31]

Hi 2014, no not yet done it..they go down well in the evening but wake up frequently from mid night. They both have a dream feed so not hungry. However I haven't started yet because I'm a bit scared ! Thinking of waiting until 6 months..They're both in the same room-are yours?

[2014TwinMummy]

Ours are separate at moment as wanted to keep them apart while we were struggling to settle of an evening. Lots of occasions coming up over next few weeks when they'll have to share again though with holidays etc. Hoping it will be ok as they don't make too much fuss in night, just feed and back to sleep - though one with my husband co-sleeps after her feed! I think cc is something you have to psyche yourself up for; once you start it's important to keep going if you want to see results! If they're used to sharing, I would keep them together.