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Multiple births

Do you dress your same sex twins the same?

32 replies

4kids · 20/08/2006 16:48

I have identical girls aged 4 i have always dressed them the same even down to the same hair style.The older one hates it they say to me "we want to be different like everyone else in nursery but we cant cos we are identical".I like them dressed the same & find it easier when shopping for clothes & when dressing them to grab the same outfits instead of having to go through clothes & think of who should wear what.the older one hides in the toilet when she sees that the clothes are the same i have even once had different hairstyles on them & she still complained.

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Charellie · 20/08/2006 17:07

I have non-identical 4 year old twin girls and have never dressed them the same and said from the very beginning that I never would. DT2 has bobbed hair and DT1 has long hair as she likes her hair up.

I feel that they have their own personalities and so have their own clothes. DT1 certainly likes to help choose what she's going to wear but DT2 isn't really bothered

They each have their own wardrobe and the only clothes which don't belong to a specific twin are pyjamas, knickers and socks.

It'll be strange when they go to school and have to wear the same uniform.

It's up to you how you dress your dt's but if one is resisting it then it's probably best to let them choose

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ScummyMummy · 20/08/2006 17:07

Why carry on doing it if they hate it? I think your daughter is right to be concerned that she has to wear the same clothes as her sister all the time, tbh. No offence- I have non-id twins and I remember being tempted to dress them the same when they were tiny because it did look cute. But it isn't very good for other people trying to tell them apart or their own sense of themselves as individuals. It can get very tedious being mistaken for your sister all the time. Apparently there are some parents of twins who see the twinship as the first and most important thing about their children and some who exaggerate their differences. Each can learn from the other- twinship IS a special relationship and shouldn't be downplayed but it is really important also to let them be their own people. I think your daughter is telling you that you need to start seeing them as individuals a bit more tbh...

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throckenholt · 20/08/2006 20:45

I have id boys and they are never dressed the same. Even if I wanted to I would never be able to keep them matched - they would either wet their trousers or spill something, or need a change of clothes for another reason. What do you do in that situation.

Another thing struck me too - mine are not aware of which one is the older, and which the younger - thye are 3.5 and have not yet thought to ask about it.

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dizietsma · 20/08/2006 21:48

Isn't it terrible for the emotional development of identical twins to dress them the same? Sure it might be easier for you, but they're going to feel like you don't recognise them as individuals and it's clear that they already feel they aren't recognised as individuals at nursery. And anyway, it can't be easier to dress them the same if one is always making a fuss, can it? Why not let them choose their own clothes?

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waterfalls · 20/08/2006 21:53

I have identical twin girls (2.6yrs) and have never dressed them the same, they are individuals, not 2 halves of the same person, I refuse to have them put on a pedistal, they mosty have thier own clothes, and just share things like socks and t-tshirts.

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TwoIfBySea · 20/08/2006 22:01

If your dd doesn't like it then it is easier and cheaper to buy multipacks anyway and share out the clothes from that. When I buy a pack of two tshirts I buy different colour ones etc or different patterns so one dts has their own clothes and identity.

Of course the biggest problem is other people buying clothes the same and having boys the choice is really limited so they do double up on certain things but never intentionally.

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waterfalls · 20/08/2006 22:01

And when dts start school, I plan to put one in a skirt and one in a pinifore (sp)

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TwoIfBySea · 20/08/2006 22:03

There is a thought waterfalls, my dts wore jumpers for nursery and dts1 wore red while dts2 blue. The school jumper is royal blue so dts1 feels a bit put out!

Maybe the fact that dts1 wears ordinary undies and dts2 prefers boxers will still set them apart.

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iota · 20/08/2006 22:03

waterfalls - there are twin boys at ds1's school - one wears charcoal trousers and one wears black

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waterfalls · 20/08/2006 22:05

Yes, its good to help the teachers know whos who too.

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iota · 20/08/2006 22:05

and anyway even if they have the same clothes, they don't have to wear them at the same time do they?
I have 2 boys, 2 yrs apart and they have a few clothes that are the same ( bionicle T shirts, track pants etc)

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speedymama · 22/08/2006 08:50

I dress my 2yo fraternal DTS the same because
a) I like it that way
b) I don't have to spend time thinking about what they are going to wear.

I hate shopping for clothes for them so I just go into the shop, see something I like and grab two lots.

They are individuals and they are not defined by what they wear. DH and I treat them as individuals because they have their own personalities, idiosyncrasies and temperaments.

As they get older, they will have more say in what they wear and no doubt they will have different taste. Until that time, I'll do as I please.

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edam · 22/08/2006 09:17

I don't have twins so tell me to butt out but happened to catch part of a trashy CH5 programme on adult twins last night. The ones who continued to dress the same came across as decidedly odd. There was even a plastic surgeon in the US who operates on middle-aged and elderly twins to keep them looking the same (given that the ageing process adds difference).

Although the one pair of elderly twins I know do that thing of going out separately and buying the same outfit without realising it. So whatever you do may not make much difference!

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waterfalls · 22/08/2006 10:43

edam
I have seen similair documentaries, I think some older identical twins believe they are one person, and do everything in thier power to be the same, and yes they do come across as slightly odd, but then there are still no answers as to why some identical twins have that 5th sense of each other, ie, know when the other is in pain or in trouble.
I dont dress my identical twins the same, but when they are older they may decide they want to be dressed the same.
I have read of stories of identical twins who cant bear to be apart from each other, therefore choose never to marry, instead setting up home together. And the stories of twins seperated at birth, then reunited much later in life to find they have lived parallel lives..................weird stuff

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waterfalls · 22/08/2006 10:47

obviously I mean 6th sense

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nappyaddict · 22/08/2006 11:49

my cousin has twins they are 4 too. she always said she would dress them the same until they said they wanted to be different. this has happened gradually over about the last year. some days they want to be different some days they want to be the same. if one spilled something on themselves they both got changed, but after a bit she would only change one on the principal that pretty soon the other was bound to spill something too and need changing so they would be the same again.

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4kids · 23/08/2006 17:34

I have given in to the twin that hates being dressed the same but the other twin likes being the same im in a catch 22 & i am finding it hard matching different clothes.I do like them being dressed the same & its easier(i think) they are individuals & i dont treat them as 1 just because they dress the same they have different friends in school & also play seperatly alot at home.

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CarolinaMoon · 23/08/2006 17:48

do you mean matching different clothes to what the other twin's wearing? or just co-ordinating each twin's own outfit?

I don't have twins, but I can't see how the younger one can be allowed to force the older one (through you) to dress the same as her.

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nappyaddict · 23/08/2006 22:04

that was the same as my cousins twins. the eldest started to resent it , the youngest loved it. on thed ays when her dt1 didn't want to be the same she used to make dt2 pick first what to wear then dt1 second. if she let dt1 pick first, dt2 would try and pick the most similar thing as he could (after their mum had removed the matching outfit) in the end they were both happy about wearing what they wanted to. she always does this when asking them what they want as the youngest tries to copy the eldest even if he doesnt really want the same thing and the eldest wants to be different.

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catj · 23/08/2006 22:16

I have non-id girls (although they look so alike everyone thinks they're id). Whenever possible I try NOT to dress them the same. They might wear matching trousers but different tops or sometimes the same style but in different colours. A lot of it is because I'm stingy a tend to buy clothes in the sales and there isn't always 2 of the same thing in the same size . I also feel that they are two separate individuals and I like to treat them as such.

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2plus2plus1 · 24/08/2006 10:28

I always buy the same (saves arguments 3wks down hte line), they choose what to ware each day though. Probably choose the same 70% of the time. They go through phases of insisting on being the same, or insisting on choosing different. They are normally in opposite 'phases' at any one time and that causes MAJOR arguments.

I think you should listen to what they want. You may find they change their mind in a couple of weeks anyway...

One (but not the other) wants their hair cut short though and I am trying to resist that, probably because I see it as being a bit more permanent than a choice of clothes.

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suzywong · 24/08/2006 10:31

blatant hi jack

Can I just say, that after minding my friend's 2 year old twins and my 2 year old in a shopping centre while she went to the opticians I can now understand something of the sheer scrutiny you people come under, chiefly from old biddies, when you are out in public. And the innane comments people pass! It did look as though I had triplets but even so, Blimey! People just take it as an open invitation to say "Triple Trouble, rod for you own back, etc etc etc"
But one old lady was very kind, when I was trying to wrangle three of them running in three opposite directions, and said to ignore what people said that it was hard work and how would you manage as it pays off in the end and makes your life richer.

So Hats Off to you all

I salute you

Hi jack over

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Overrun · 10/09/2006 22:20

I try to dress them differently, they are not identical but it is amazing how many people ask if they are, even when dressed in different outfits. It is a conscious decision on my part, but occasionally because they do share some teeshirts or say denim shorts (how different can they be?), they might end up wearing the same tee shirt one day if I am behind with my laundry, and I don't stress it (smile)
Even at 22 months, they know whose coat is whose and pick out their own tshirts for eg one likes postman pat and the other one is a Bob the Builder fan. Each have their own chest of drawers as well.
My dh struggles to remember who wears what, but I don't have a problem with it. Can't see exactly how it makes life easier, but every one has to make their own choices dont' they, and having twins is hard enough without feeling stressed about how to dress them

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madmum2boyz · 11/09/2006 17:41

I have 1 year old twin boys and I dress them the same, I think it looks good, however once they start walking I will dress them differently but similar, there are alot of twins in my home town and most of them get dressed similarly if not the same

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glamourbadger · 12/09/2006 14:05

I have identical girls and always dress them differently. They do look cute dressed the same but I think it's important that they have their own little personalities and aren't lumped together as one person. People also find it hard to tell them apart and dressing them differently really helps.

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