Should we put dt's in different classes in school?

[nothingbyhalves]

That's it really. Dt's starting full time school in September aged 4. Teacher has asked if we would like them to stay together or go into separate classes. Dh wants them to stay together, but I'm unsure. I think they may benefit from a break from each other, and be treated more as a individual.

Dies anyone have any experience of this?

[Wigglyparty]

My twin and I were in different classes from the start, which was good for us, I think: we made some different friends (which were quickly shared!) but, more importantly, made our own mistakes and learned our own lessons without fear of comparison. Plus I reckon if we'd been in together we would have cheated constantly to help each other out.

[OddBoots]

I don't have twins myself but all the twins I've known have gone into different classes, they have a better chance of freedom to be an individual that way. Why does your dh want them together?

[OneToThree]

Mine will start next September and I am putting them in separate classes.
I feel that every other child will start school without a sibling there so want their experience to be similar to all the other children.
Also the shy twin will be forced to make friends and the more outgoing twin won't be held back by feeling like they should be looking out for them.

I've thought about it a lot!

[RedBlanket]

We put them in separate classes for same reasons as above. Mostly a positive experience, although logistics can be a challenge.

[RedBlanket]

Also in our school the classes mix quite regularly, especially in KS1, so they see each other loads. In fact when they were in reception the two classrooms were open plan separated by a curtain only for registration and end of day story time. So they used to see each other all the time.
EYFS is even more about free play now so yet may well be together quite a lot anyway.

[RedundantExpat]

I put my DDs into separate classes and am glad I did, but I think it very much depends on characters of the DC.

[superbagpuss]

my DT don't really rely on each other and have different personalities and look different

we sent them to the school that only had one class per year

they have been going there since preschool and have been put in separate groups etc

it has worked well with us so depends on your DT

[ThreeLannistersOneTargaryen]

It depends what your children are like, and on their relationship.

DD & DS3 have been in separate classes in Reception and will be going to different secondary schools. That's the right decision for them, but it wouldn't be right for everyone.

[Teds77]

TAMBA have some research/thoughts on this - am sure it must be on their website. I went to a TAMBA talk and there was arguments for keeping together and separating. I left leaning slightly towards keeping together. But I may well change my mind when the times comes! Once you know which school you have been allocated I would talk to them about what they have done in the past and what advice can they offer to help you make your decision. One of the interesting points TAMBA raised was that although the 'shyer' twin can benefit from separation, quite often separation can be very tough on the 'dominant' twin as they feel bereft without anyone to 'mother'. Of course you may not have twins that take on this roles but I found this interesting as it wasn't something I had considered.

[Poledra]

I don;t know about your specific twins, but I am a twin and I would have loved to have been in a different class from my brother. Sadly, even at high school, we were placed in the same class. It's the one thing I resent about my mother - apparently the school called and asked if we wanted to be separate or together and, without consulting us, she said 'It doesn't really matter - whichever way is fine.' And we ended up in the same class all the way through school.

I didn't even apply to the same universities as my brother...

[Meow75]

Have you asked the children?! That seems pretty important to me!

[MillyMollyMama]

I am not sure 4 year olds are wise enough to understand all the issues. I guess the mothering bit depends upon if you think this is a good trait or not. It would seem a bit odd in a boy, so maybe it's just girls? If so, isn't this a bit too girly? I am not a mum of twins, but my friends have separated theirs for the reasons above.

[Meow75]

Perhaps, MillyMollyMama, but they at least deserve to be heard, don't you think?

[Kittymalinky]

All the twins I've taught in 2 form entry schools have gone into separate classes. We kept triplets together (bit mean 1 in one class and 2 in another). I think twins benefit from being separate. What do your DT want- think

[nothingbyhalves]

We asked one and his lip wobbled! The other doesn't seem to care but I don't he really understands. If we separate them one will go into new class and the other stay in existing class with all their friends. I think I may ask to keep them in the same class but wherever possible for them to work in separate groups. Feel it will be unfair on the one going into new class without any if his buddies.

[1stMrsF]

Tamba research here

[mandy214]

I think its quite interesting and completely agree that it depends on the children. I am a twin, and I have twins too, so can hopefully see it from both sides.

My primary school was tiny so there was no option of separating us, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, certainly not at that age (4). My sister and I were very close but quite independent too, similar ability etc. Never thought anything of it. We were always together and I loved that.

It never really entered my head about splitting them up when my DTs started school (b/g twins) and it wasn't until we started looking around schools that we were asked a couple of times whether we had thought about it. The general consensus from the headteachers / reception teachers was that they generally advised twins to stay together unless there was a reason to split them (one too dominant / one very shy or whatever). Obviously it depends how the school operates, how you think your children would get on, but for me, unless I had concerns, I'd keep them together. It seems odd to be that you build them up for quite a big step and then send them to different classes without one another. Also as you go further up the school (my DTs are now Year 4), there are class assemblies / parents evenings on different days for different classes / one class had swimming lessons for the first half of the year, one had it for the later part of the year / different projects at different times of the year (requiring visits to museums / local attractions etc, so the logistics of being there for 2 x assemblies etc and the preparation / organisation of doing different things would be hard. Obviously, the well being of your children is paramount but don't under-estimate the practicalities of it all especially if the school is quite keen on lots of parent participation.

FWIW, my DTs have had no issues whatsoever  some friends in common, some different. There is another set of twins in their class (2 girls), obviously together, no issues there either. My Number 3 started reception this year, 4 sets of twins in reception this year (60 children). She has one full set and 2 half sets. The other reception class also has one full set and obviously 2 half sets. 2 sets of parents chose to keep them together, 2 opted to separate. I guess its all down to your children.

[KippyVonKipperson]

I think with the new information in your last post I'd keep them together. If it doesn't work out you can change things around in subsequent years.

[vestandknickers]

My twins were together in reception because we felt they would really struggle being apart. They went into separate classes from year 1. We were pleased with this decision as I think separating them straight away would have been a big trauma for them and could have affected how they felt about school. By year 1 they had found their feet within the school and were ready to be apart.

[ZenGardener]

We had this dilemma too. We also kept them together for the first year and split them for the next year. The school also shuffled the classes at that time so it made things easier. My twins are quite competitive so I think it was better for them, they both have strong personalities.

[Makingchanges]

I am a twin. was in same class up to secondary and then split. developed much better friends and personalities when split and much preferred to no longer be known as one of the twins. this was over 20 years ago though and I have to say my twin, not being as confident struggled to make friends on her own.

[bluebeanie]

I'm a twin. We were split from primary school. A good decision as we could develop as individuals/make different friends.

[junkfoodaddict]

Just seen your post when lurking!
I teach Y2 and we have 2 sets of twins (one identical and one set fraternal) iin my year group. My HT has a very strong opinion about NOT putting twins together in the same class. 9 times out of 10, it works for the best - but not always and therefore a decision needs to be based upon your children's personality.
The twins I have are both confident, independent girls. The identical twins NEEDED splitting as both only identified themselves as having one name (both names together). I don't EVER see them as twins; but as individuals.
However, one set had always been together at their previous school and when they joined us, they were split. This had a devastating impact on one twin who became almost mute and one year on, he still has problems and only now being assessed by the educational psychologist (despite my requests two months after he started!!!)
So basically, I think twins being in separate classes IS a good idea but only if their personalities 'fit' with what you are wanting to do.

[Doubletroublemummy2]

My dtd's are together but are such different characters thry have no trouble maintaining their individuality, you know them best if they are fairly independent then keeping together should be ok, otherwise it could be beneficial to seperate them. If they went to nursery you may get some good advice from their key worker