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Routine with twins, can't seem to get started

8 replies

Froggy36 · 17/03/2014 18:22

I'm looking for some help / suggestions with a routine for my b/g twins 9 weeks old (5 weeks corrected). We have them set up in the living room as its the biggest room in the house and everything is to hand in the kitchen. We normally do shifts with my dh staying with the twins for 5 ish hours while I get a sleep. This isn't always at a set time for me as he works shifts but is mainly 8pm - 1am or 1am -6 am. I bf when I'm with the babies and my dh ffs.
I've felt this isn't working as well for us now and the change in shifts upsets my milk for a few days so I generally need to top up with a bottle about 5pm. We have really struggled the last few days after first vaccinations, it took us nearly 6 hours to settle them from 4pm. We normally get 2-3 hours a bf but it can be as little as 1, bottles seem to get 3-4 if we are really lucky.
My dd is still a bit colicky and the vaccination is making pooing really sore so she cracks up every time she goes. My ds pees like a demon and nb nappies can't keep up.
I'd like to move them up to their own room with one of us on a sofa bed for the next couple of months with them as my dd has been known to choke occasionally and she likes to hold her breath.
Any suggestions as to how we can settle them a bit better? If we do bath bottle bed at 8pm does one of us stay in with them and goes too bed then or can we leave them for an hour to get dinner? I know it sounds daft but I'm not sure what to with regards leaving them and that's why they're still in the living room.

Any suggestions gratefully received

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andadietcoke · 17/03/2014 20:02

When mine were a similar age we started trying to get them in a routine. Milk, then bath at about 7pm, then the rest of the milk with dimmed lights, then bed with white noise on. Initially there was lots of running upstairs to resettle, until one night it stopped. At first they'd wake up at 11pm for a feed and gradually it got later, and stopped at around 3am for a feed, then through to 7am. It's got worse since, but I used to sleep inbetween them with them in Sleepyheads either side, so they barely stirred before I settled them again. Now they're in their own room they're more awake by the time I get next door. They just have Ewan on to go to sleep now as a sleep cue, and Jellycat blanket things that stay in their cots. DT2 was very colicky and we found that this routine got her to sleep before her core screaming time of 9pm which made things a lot more bearable and only resulted in a few meltdowns.

I digress, at that point (8 weeks) we would leave them in their bedroom with the video monitor on until I came to bed at about 10.

I have a similar routine for naps too. Milk upstairs, blackout blind down, Ewan on. They both self settle very well now but that hasn't always been the case.

Good luck, and enjoy having your evenings back.

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Callofthewild · 18/03/2014 09:25

Congratulations on your little ones.

We started getting ours into a bedtime routine around the same age. I have two little girls and at that point DTD1 was breast fed and DTD2 bottle fed. We would get them changed into their night clothes and sleeping bag downstairs and then take them upstairs and feed them in our room in the dark(but with the light on on the landing so we could see what we were doing!) I would breastfeed DTD1 and my husband bottlefeed DTD2. We would then cuddle them till they fell asleep and put them down and retreat downstairs. As they were already in their sleeping bags they could be put down without disturbing them.

When they woke in the night we would always feed both at the same time. Generally the twin that is still asleep is woken up by the general shuffling around in our bedroom. We found if we didnt then we could end up being up most of the night. Could you perhaps alternate which baby you breastfed in the night and your husband bottle feed the other? When we get up in the night my husband makes the bottles and I change both their nappies.

My twins are now 5 months and over time they have both fallen into a pattern of needing feeding every three hours during the day and waking once in the night for a feed or occasionally sleeping through.

Don't feel like you must get them into a set routine in the day though. I never have with mine, I know that generally they get hungry after three hours and tired after about 2 hours. The time of their first feed varies dependent on when they fed in the night so for instance yesterday it was 6.30am whereas today it was at 8am. Once we've had that first feed we just go from there in terms of timings for the rest of the day.

Good luck and please ask if you have any questions.

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1stMrsF · 06/04/2014 21:57

I found the routine changed often in the early months, and it can feel awful because one is moving towards something different and you are still clinging to it! My advice would be to focus on one thing e.g feeding frequency or naptimes or bedtime at a time rather than trying to get everything right and try looking for cues from the babies instead of looking at the clock. They may not be in the same routine as each other for a few days at a time when things are changing, but things will settle down. I didn't feel I saw a reliable routine until about 16 weeks, but it became more predictable from 12.

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OneToThree · 10/04/2014 07:08

I went with the flow for the first 4 months and then put a routine in place. Followed the Gina Ford book loosely with feed and nap times and they would nap for 2.5 hours in their cot at the same time which was wonderful.

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SoonToBeSix · 16/04/2014 10:11

Don't leave them, they need to hear your breathing to regulate their own. Babies cannot reliably do this until six months. You can still do a bedtime routine just put them to sleep in the living room then carry them up when you go up.

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Doubletroublemummy2 · 19/04/2014 23:05

My dd's where in their own room from 4 weeks, we used the dreaded Gina Ford as a guidline feeding at 7am, 10.30 am followed by nap 1.30 pm, 3.30 pm nap, bath at 6.30 bed time bottle at 7pm got them up for a dream feed at 11 and then again at 3 am. By 8 weeks we stopped the 3 am, 11 am feed went when we started weening at 6ish months. For the first 8 weeks I went to bdd at 8.30 hubby did the 11pm feed znd then I got up for 3 am. I wrote it all down and had schedules blue tacked to the kitchen cupboards. It worked for us, doesn't last nearly as long you think and once the 3 am feed goes there is light at the end of the tunnel. Also I expressed and bottle fed breast milk inbetween formula. I used bm in the "snack" time slots I.e. 10.30 and 3.30pm and 3 am because it's supposed to be less filling I figured it would be easier when we dropped those feeds. Well thsts what we did and it worked well for us the important thing is to find what works but know that it will work for a couple of weeks and then you'll need to reassess :)

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Doubletroublemummy2 · 19/04/2014 23:14

Sorry question, when you say choke occasionally, wbat happens? Do you need to intervene to get her breathing or does she clear her throat herself?

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Doubletroublemummy2 · 19/04/2014 23:14

My dd's where in their own room from 4 weeks, we used the dreaded Gina Ford as a guidline feeding at 7am, 10.30 am followed by nap 1.30 pm, 3.30 pm nap, bath at 6.30 bed time bottle at 7pm got them up for a dream feed at 11 and then again at 3 am. By 8 weeks we stopped the 3 am, 11 am feed went when we started weening at 6ish months. For the first 8 weeks I went to bdd at 8.30 hubby did the 11pm feed znd then I got up for 3 am. I wrote it all down and had schedules blue tacked to the kitchen cupboards. It worked for us, doesn't last nearly as long you think and once the 3 am feed goes there is light at the end of the tunnel. Also I expressed and bottle fed breast milk inbetween formula. I used bm in the "snack" time slots I.e. 10.30 and 3.30pm and 3 am because it's supposed to be less filling I figured it would be easier when we dropped those feeds. Well thsts what we did and it worked well for us the important thing is to find what works but know that it will work for a couple of weeks and then you'll need to reassess :)

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