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Encouragement needed please from those who've ebf twins with an older DC as wel....

33 replies

legallyblond · 14/09/2013 20:17

Excuse typos in advance... On my phone.

DTs are 4 days old... Born by elcs at 37+3 - twin 1 6lb2, twin 2 5lb3... I have a 2.11 yo DD who I ebf and carried on bf until she was 2.

Positives are both twins have good latch and my milk is nicely in. Also, I've cracked tandem feeding!

In hospital, because of twin 2's weight, they did blood sugar testing and she kept on being a bit low, so I reluctantly agreed to formula top ups, mainly to get discharged!

Now we're home, the MW has been once and both twins had lost 5% of birth weight... Apparently not too bad. She suggested I get pumping to boost supply and then replace (from tomorrow) formula with my milk. I did tis but have decided to replace the formula with my milk already... I'm getting loads of milk and it seems totally insane to be giving formula when there's stacks of bm in the fridge!!!!!

Tbh, I'm loathing the expressing and concept of "topping up" three hourly feeds with a sippy cup. It takes up so much time and anyway, they're feeding in demand way more than three hourly.....

MW coming again tomorrow and I'm dreading the weighing...

I can do this right? Surely I just feed them both on demand ideally at the same time as much as poss?

Am feeling very very overwhelmed and teary generally. It just seems like I have no time for sleep (unlike with a singleton - i'd just bring DD into bed and feed her while co sleeping if it got bad) and no time for DD Sad

Is this do able? Does it get better?

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MumsKnitter · 14/09/2013 20:47

I'm sure it is do-able. Trust your instinct. There is no need to complicate it by expressing milk when they are happy to feed on demand. You are obviously doing great. Sod the midwife and her scales!

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hoppingmad · 14/09/2013 20:48

It does get better, I was feeding one whilst expressing for the other as she couldn't latch. In the end the expressing exhausted me so much they both ended up on formula :(
I would just tandem feed on demand if you've cracked that (well done you!) Try not to get too hung up on weight gain - my eldest dd took 3 weeks to get back to her birth weight but is now a very healthy 9 year old :)

You really need to do what feels natural and doable to you otherwise you will exhaust yourself and twins are quite tiring enough without extra stress!

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harassedmotherof3 · 14/09/2013 20:55

Sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. As a doctor, and mum who has BF her 3, I would def agree just breast-feeding them on demand is the right thing to do. Have never had twins though, so can only sympathise how hard it must be. Do you have husband or mum who can help?
I do know one mother of twins who did it!
Can you get BF counsellor?

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legallyblond · 14/09/2013 20:57

Thanks both - I guess that it's just that I worry that the MWs will somehow be able to force me into a situation that I think us unecessary - my experience with DD tells me that we've " cracked it" as we're successfully bf ing on demand, mostly tandem, but Twin 2 being small seems to give then much much more scope for worry and interference....

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hoppingmad · 14/09/2013 21:06

Twin 2 isn't that small for twins tbh. I think the average weight is 5.5lb

My smallest was just under 6lbs and the women in the bed next to me had a 5lb singleton (full term)

With regards to the midwife, make it clear you are confident in what you're doing (without being rude) but that you will take her advice on board. Keep the peace and when she leaves do it your way.

If twin 2 doesn't start gaining enough weight then you could consider mixed feeding but I'd give the breast feeding a bit longer first

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hoppingmad · 14/09/2013 21:07

*meant to add, just under 6lbs at 39 weeks

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Cheeka · 15/09/2013 09:35

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GoofyIsACow · 15/09/2013 09:46

It does get better I absolutely agree, I ebf my twins and DS1 was three when they were born.
I had so many hv and other hcp's suggesting formula, one after 24 hrs of them being born because I was crying that i was tired, 24hrs after giving birth to twins Hmm Shock
My hv (after me saying i wasnt introducing formula) was very supportive and I made the effort to go to a bf group. I had always avoided them with DS1 thinking it was pure weird to turn up somewhere to wap out your boobs and feed your babies! It was, thankfully and probably obviously nothing like that, but noone was desperate to talk me into giving up bf. I understand it was purely well meant, they couldn't believe that it was possible, I have since spoken to two hv who said they had never known someone successfully bf multiples in our area, I now know two other multiple parents who exclusively bf so Im not entirely sure it is as rare as they made out.
It was pigheadedness that got me through the first 8/10 weeks, i think i wanted to prove everyone wrong and also I knew I would never be organised enough to sterilise and mix formula. DS1 was ebf too so formula was a new thing I didn't have the brain space for at that time.
You don't need to top up with formula if you don't want to, just stand your ground. Good luck, sounds like you are doing a great job! Thanks

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GoofyIsACow · 15/09/2013 09:50

Mine are 26 mths now and big strapping lads... I barely remember those first few months.
I do remember nearly sending DH to 24hr asda a few times for formula etc. but my twins suffered from reflux and the thought it might made it worse always ultimately stopped me, it was more the fear of the unknown. I am glad now that i stuck with it but things could have gone differently, i appreciate that :)

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Twicethehugs · 15/09/2013 10:36

I've got twins who are 7 1/2 months and ebf - no older children but wanted to give you some encouragement anyway! Mine were 4lb10 and 5 lb2, we were in for 5 days and also had to agree to top up bottles to get out of the hospital - same concerns about weight gain when we got home too and remember dreading the weigh in! Like others I think it was more my pig-headedness than support from professionals that helped, although did get some advice from a friend who knows a lot about breastfeeding and rang TAMBA who have trained twin mum breastfeeding counsellors. I did top up bottles for a few weeks, gradually dropping them but my milk supply took a while and when expressing didn't get so much and hadn't experience so lacked confidence in supply. If you've got loads of expressed milk, I agree there seems no point giving formula. Also it takes so much time breastfeeding twins that doing bottles and expressing seems like a lot of extra work if not really needed!

After about a month I started co-sleeping with my twins, initially by accident as would just fall asleep while feeding them ad wake up 2 hours later in exactly the same position and feed them again, now one sleeps either side of me, OH in spare room but he's not too sad as gets enough sleep to get to work and function there.

I had times in the first 3 months when I really doubted if I could do it and often had people kindly suggesting formula would be easier but I'm glad I stuck with breastfeeding now as they've got so much quicker at feeding. A friend who had a daughter then had twins with not much gap between has said her parents helping was really necessary, I hope you've got some people around to support you. Good luck to you, it will get easier.

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temporary · 15/09/2013 10:49

How are you doing? You really sound like you are doing great to me! A 5% weight loss sounds good, and if you can get both of them on at the same time then that is fab as it gives them both more time to feed.

I think you should trust your instincts. Just offer the breast loads. Then any free hands time you have you can save for cuddling your 2 year old.

You are doing well, keep doing what you're doing

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Cheeka · 15/09/2013 23:13

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

legallyblond · 16/09/2013 13:19

Thanks all. It is indeed getting better. Twin 1 is gaining now, not losing (still below birth weight, but its only day 6!) and twin 2 is down, but still only 6% in total. I'm "officially" allowed now to just top up in ebm but tbh, I'm not doing it all the time as sometimes I just "top up" by hand expressing into her mouth while she's on the boob still but no longer sucking. Really hoping to drop that soon and just bf on demand. Tandem feeding when I can, but when they're out of sync, just doing one at a time on demand! I got an hour if sleep here and there last night, so feeling much better.

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legallyblond · 16/09/2013 16:50

But now getting nervous about weigh in tomorrow with the MW..... Really really hoping twin two has gained.... Don't know what more I can do as I am feeding lots... Sad

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hoppingmad · 16/09/2013 17:44

You are doing brilliantly by the sounds of it - far better than I did. Don't let anyone make you doubt yourself.
My midwife when I had the twins said not to worry about the chart as the percentage drop can be higher initially for breastfed babies but they soon catch up Smile (so at 6% I would say you are doing great)

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Clockers · 16/09/2013 22:02

Hi my twin boys were born at 32 weeks weighing 2lb 15 and 4lb 10 (ttts pregnancy). I also have a dd who was just 3 when they were born. For the month they were in hospital they were exclusivly on my milk (fed through a bottle/tube if I wasnt there and once they were home I did demand feeding with no expressing despite my smallest twin being only 3lb 14oz when he was discharged.
Tbh i was so sick of expressing by that point and feeding twins is time consuming enough !
I started giving a bottle of formula at the bedtime feed at about 4 months as bf was taking so long and I needed to get my dd into bed (dh gets home late) but they were ebf till that point.
Hvs were quite twitchy about my smallest but my experience of breastfeeding my eldest told me that he was ok. He gained weight slowly but surely and now weighs 22lb ! They are 1 this week.
Remember no one can make you give the formula and it took both of mine 2 weeks to regain their birth weight. Sound like you are doing fab - the first few weeks / months are so hard and I was so worried about my dd but she adores her brothers and seems to be unscathed by the experience! it DOES get better..
Good luck and congratulations!

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legallyblond · 17/09/2013 12:42

Thanks again everyone, kind words making me teary in my hormonal state!

Twin 2 has gained. Yay! Was 20g down 2 days ago, now 30g up (so now only 5% weight loss or less). Tbh, she hasn't taken the top ups of ebm more than one feed in every three, so it's just bf really. Told I should keep topping up until 2 days time then can stop if she's still gaining... Phew. Until next time!

Twin 1 is a little champ - he's now only 5g below birth weight! After just 7 days as an ebf twin. Whoop! The old boobs do work!

I'm surprised how much all the blood sugar testing and paeds insisting that formula was the answer in hospital really knocked my confidence.... I am sure it puts done people off altogether Sad

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beachesandbuckets · 17/09/2013 21:08

Hiya Legally Blond, remember you from previous posts. My dts are now 6 wks and I too have ebf my babies so far. Have two older dcs (aged 5 and 3). Tried tandem feeding on first night in hospital and worked so have carried on! Babies lost weight and then gained it, hv never suggested top up at all, she has been very supportive although it seems very unusual for women to ebf twins it seems. They are both 10lb now and little chubsters!

On the down side, I have suffered from mastitis twice. Boo. But got through it.

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beachesandbuckets · 17/09/2013 21:26

Wld also add that I haven't expressed, I hate the faff, and tbh dh at work so can't feed for me and any other help (parents) are better off keeping my older two entertained as bf'ing at least means I am sitting down and resting, if not sleeping.

My dts took a lot longer to regain their birth weight than older two, but in the fog of tiredness, I wasn't too bothered and my hv was totally unconcerned. They did have prolonged jaundice however which is just about going.

The only two friends with twins I have also ebf their twins and have older dcs so didn't think it was particularly out of the ordinary until I was told by my hv that I was 'well known in the hv office as the woman who ebf twins'!!

Pm if you need to, am on my phone A LOT whilst feeding! Good luck.

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legallyblond · 18/09/2013 10:46

Thanks Beaches! I'll catch up properly soon!

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legallyblond · 19/09/2013 19:02

Yay!! No more expressing and top ups! Been officially released! Day 9 and twin 1 is well over birth weight and twin 2 has piled the lbs back in so only has a few grams to go... So happy to be just bf on demand after all the blood sugar tests etc etc...

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hoppingmad · 19/09/2013 19:40

Well done you Grin. Knew you could do it. Now relax and enjoy, the baby days seem to fly by and before you know it they are toddlers who still don't sleep through but have gained the art of emptying everything on to the floor Grin

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legallyblond · 19/09/2013 20:41

Thanks. I was a mixture of Sad Shock Hmm when the MW who came today said she had been doing the job two years and I was the first twin mother she'd come across still breastfeeding and doing it successfully at this stage. They're only 9 days old!

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legallyblond · 19/09/2013 21:10

Mostly Sad actually. I was surprised how much my confidence was knocked (not just about bf) by all the blood sugar testing and constant interference monitoring... And I've done it all before so am fairly confident! That coupled with the teary overwhelmed feelings of day 3/4... I am not surprised people get disheartened....

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beachesandbuckets · 19/09/2013 22:40

Best to draw a line under it now, and take from the experience that your gut instinct is usually correct. The early days are hard enough as it is (speaking as someone only 6 weeks in, what do I know?!).

I must admit I nearly binned ebf after my second batch of mastitis in two weeks (plus antibiotics) esp as never got it ebf older dcs (for a year each) but have been clear now for a fortnight so hope I can continue. I think the latch can sometimes go squewy with twins when trying to get and keep them both on. Are you using a feeding cushion LB?

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