1 weeks old twins. Do you wake a sleeping baby to breast feed? Do you wake a baby to change a dirty nappy?

[Goandplay]

Or do you wait until they wake up?

I am exhausted at night because they both want to constantly been fed and I am worried about them having enough. I have given a bottle as a last feed and it still happens and I have resorted to feeding the smaller twin a bottle and breastfeeding the bigger twin to try and get them to sleep. Have I caused a big problem with my supply?

They seem to fill their nappies constantly at night - never sure if best to leave them or wake them up changing them.

They will only really settle in bed with me which is a challenge as there is no room for DP to sleep anywhere else and I don't know how to fit us all in the bed.

One twin snuggles into her bother and I'm worried about her breathing - any advice?

Also a them moment they have slept for a long period in their bouncy chairs and I am wondering if I should wake them?

They sleep in the chairs or on us until we go up to bed - is this a bad habit?

DS1 back to school Monday - really worried about fitting everything together.

Any advice / help is gratefully received.

[FreeButtonBee]

Hello! I am by no means an expert but my twins are 17 days so am slightly ahead of you!

I do tend to change poo-y nappies as they can get quite sore bums and inevitably wake 10 mins after you put them down if you don't. Wees are generally left til next feed.

On waking sleeping babies to feed, my MW said that provided they are feeding at least 8 times over the course of the day and pooing and weeing well plus putting on weight, no need to wake overnight. She had twins herself and said that her daughter stopped waking at night entirely at 10 weeks! Am trying not to pin my hopes on this personally!

We cuddle to sleep and then Transfer to cots. I am not comfortable co-sleeping as I feel hat I am sleeping v heavily at the mo - am sure someone else can help with that though. If it works for your family, then go for it.

It's pretty impossible to spoil babies partic at this age. They just need comfort and closeness and warmth so enjoy the cuddles as much as you can.

Oh and we give one twin a bottle at 11ish as he is hard to settle. He only takes 40ml but it seems to be enough to get him over to sleep, which he struggles to do on the breast.

Do you have a tandem feeding cushion? I find it really really helps speed things up so I get more rest overall. I don't partic enjoy tandem feeding but it,s a means to an end and I think as they get bigger, it will be nicer/more comfy.

[harrygracejessica]

I never woke mine at night unless one woke for a feed and I would wake the other and feed else your up most of the night. The girls slept through from 5 weeks and were 7 weeks prem!
The boys on the other hand didn't sleep through until 11 months and we had to go cold turkey on night feeds as they didn't need them!

[HappyAsASandboy]

I woke them to feed in the day, so that they fed at least every three hours (didn't have to wake them often to be fair!).

Overnight, I didn't wake to feed. Though again, I didn't need to! They fed every 2 - 2.5 hours night and day until 4 months.

I fed mine one at a time, as I wasn't good at latching them at the same time. I pretty much just stayed in bed for four months, feeding babies in rotation! At four months, each feed suddenly went from taking an hour to taking 10 minutes. They still fed every two and a half hours, but at least I was then feeding for 20 mins every 2.5 hours instead of for 2 hours every 2.5 hours!

It is such hard work breastfeeding two in the early days. It really does get less relentless when they're a bit older though.

Congratulations, and WELL DONE for all that you are doing for your new babies :)

[toomuchpink]

Hi there,
Try not to worry too much. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and there are no right answers.
As long as there is no concern about their weight, I would let them sleep at night as long as they allow you to. In the day, I would not leave it much more than three hours. All babies I have ever known seem to start off liking day time sleep and resisting night time sleep and you want to gently change that pattern if you can.
You can obviously check they are breathing if it seems they have been asleep a long time at night.
I would never ever wake them to change a poo-y nappy unless there was a medical reason. If they are awake and have pooed then change them.
I am personally not into co-sleeping. It just doesn't work for me. I don't sleep. That doesn't mean it is wrong. My understanding is babies do not develop "habits" until they are around three months, so in these early days feeding them or cuddling them to sleep for example is nothing to worry about. Really try and park that anxiety until they are a bit older.
It is so sweet to think of them snuggled together. If it looks like this snuggling might block an airway them you should definitely separate them a bit. Otherwise, most people I know with twins had them co-sleeping.
My husband and I slept in separate beds until the twins were well over six months! We worked out a shift system, and it allowed us both to have a block of sleep. Admittedly my block was only three hours, but I sometimes looked forward to those three hours all day!
My DD1 started school nursery when the twins were 9mths ish and I worried about managing that too. I still hate waking them from their afternoon nap to go and collect her but generally speaking I quite like the routine of it.
The thing I found hardest about having twins was the emotional drain of feeling I could not give either of them or DD1 the attention they wanted. I found that part really tough. Having said that you can tell yourself if the twins get you to themselves in the day when your DS1 is at school, then they might have to be left to complain for a bit while you help him in the morning and talk to him when he gets home. Easy for me to say now, I know.
Best of luck with everything. Let us know how you are getting on.

[Goandplay]

Thank you everyone for your replies.

Really struggling to get them to settle on their backs either day time or at night in their cot. I've tried to give dummies but they seem to be creating an additional problem - looking at them now they are sucking away really hard but I know it's going to drop out and the crying will start.

I feel anxious all the time about the nights and I'm really missing routine - going to have to get over that.

Last night we bottle fed all night approximately 3/4 feeds from 9 pm onwards - now I'm worried I've affected milk supply...

They sleep beautifully during the day normally in a bouncy chair and night time s fall apart.

Dreading tonight and not getting any sleep.

Happy AsASandBoy were you co-sleeping?

[ClairesTravellingCircus]

Goandplay

I am really sorry to hear you are struggling, but it is very early days. I have had 4 babies (incl twins) and tbh all of them were sleeping better in the daytime for the first few weeks.
It WILL get better! For now do try and take some naps when they sleep during the day, when ds1 is at school. Don't be tempted to do anything else, I know it's hard but the early weeks months are all about survival!
Other than that, what the others have said, I would wake up for feeds during the day, trying to get as many in as possible.

Do not worry about supply, if you go back to feeding them whenever they want, you will be fine as a one off!

[strawberrylace]

Hello goandplay - congratulations on your twins! I think the first few weeks can be difficult as you are all trying to get to know each other and get into a routine.
I breast fed my two one after another (couldn't get on with tandem feeding) - this usually meant feeding the most awake/crying one first, and the other straight after - even if that meant waking them at night, at least I was keeping them in a routine together otherwise I was worried that i'd just get back to sleep and the second would wake.
I also have an older one, and their routines had to fit around getting him to/from pre-school - hence doing things at the same times, feeding, changing nappies etc, as it felt like it was less work that way.
do your twins share a cot? mine did till they were about 6 months old, and i think that helped them to settle to sleep as there was always someone there with them (now they are two, they come and find me at night now though!)
I hope you have a better night tonight. If you have a twins club near you (find out through the Tamba website) I highly recommend going along when you are ready to get out and about as there are always friendly faces there to share twin issues with!

[minesapintofwine]

Oh 'go and play' bless you I remember (from reading your post) now how I felt this time last year when my twins were 1 month. I wasn't breast feeding but I hated hated nights and the lack of sleep or knowledge of how much sleep would come. I always woke one to feed them both (iyswim?) but god I was flipping knackered. In fact I posted a very long depressing post on here (my first!) around that time whilst crying my eyes out and literally being exhausted. Dt2 was a terrible sleeper at night even after a feed he wouldn't settle my worst was he finally went at 4.30am and dt1 (the good sleeper!) woke at 5am for the day! Firstly, I remember other posters telling me it gets better and I thought what utter bollocks! But hey here I am telling you! We started routines at 9 weeks and from then on things started to improve. Just hang on that's all you can do. I would recommend wake one to feed the other and sleep when they sleep in the day if you are able to. and that's it really.

[minesapintofwine]

Oh and I wouldn't wake them to change a dirty bum unless they are at the start of a very long sleep ( I know that's a laugh at this age right?!? Tbh now they let me know good and proper by screaming and stinking th place out...much easier than all that newborn stress, anxiety and confusion!)

[toomuchpink]

Goandplay this is such a hard time with twins, try not to stress, just try to get as much help as you can. You will get a routine I promise you, maybe around 10-12 weeks if you are determined about it. But until then it is just a case of going with the flow. If you feel a bottle now and then is going to help you get through it, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. You might find you end up switching one b'feed for one bottle feed. Your supply will be fine for all the rest of the feeds. As I say this I remember how much I used to worry about supply too, though.
I bet you are exhausted. After a while I learned that if I was questioning all my decisions and feeling overwhelmed it was often not so much a sign that I was useless, but a sign I was extremely tired.
PS Mine never took to dummies. I really wished they would, but no joy.