reception - same class or different?

[LongStory]

so there I was happily telling everyone they're in different classes, as she (vocal and self-assured) is always bossing her (big eyed emotional and only just verbal) twin brother about, and I thought they would both do better to have their own space.

but now the time for applications is coming up and I am getting very wobbly about separating them; the school apparently staggers the breaktime, so they'd be apart for several hours.

I'd be interested to hear from others who've travelled this path before...

[ladymuckbeth]

Oh you poor thing. I have no advice unfortunately because mine are only 2.10 but of course as my PF&SBs I've already thought about it! Of course it might be the "right" course of action but I too will/would get wobbly-lipped about it!

What do the school say or advise? I wonder if it would help if you knew in advance that if it didn't work well, that you might be able to change your mind and have them in the same class? At least you'd feel as though the decision was reversible perhaps...? It might be the making of your DS, as I'm sure you've thought already, even if it's harder to start with. One of my twin daughters is far more sociable than her sister, and although they're very close, she needs her sister far less than her sister needs her. In theory I'm looking forward to giving the shyer one the chance to be her own person...

[Mandy21]

Hi there, my twins were a little bit like that - I would ask what the school advise - my school advised that we keep them together unless we really thought it would be detrimental. I think with girl/boy twins will inevitably find different groups of friends and don't actually interact too much together. From a logistical point of view it would be hard work to have them in different classes - different homework, different class assemblies, different days for PE kit etc. I think it also depends on whether they know other children, how confident you think they'll be starting school in general. Mine didnt know any other children (having just moved to the area) and it would have been quite overwhelming to be separated. They're in Year 3 now and they've been fine together.

[oooggs]

I have g/b twins and they are now in year 1. They are in the same class as there is only one class per year.

They are different academically as well so are on different tables and in different groups for things.

They are very different personality wise and have different friends.

The only issue I have found so far is that there is tale telling. Things that other parents wouldn't know about. Like dt1 had her name on the board today for talking and dt2 lost some of his break time for not putting his tray away (hyperthetical examples), I am sure things like this (and worse) happened with ds1 I just didn't know and there really is no need to know as it is trivial.

Good luck with your decision

[schmee]

Does the school mix up the classes further up the school? So, would you have the opportunity for them to be in separate classes when they are a bit older? TAMBA has some good stuff on this. It's an individual choice to suit your children, but I think as a general rule according to the research most twins do better in the same class until they are around 7 years old.

Also, be prepared for the one who is normally outgoing to become much more withdrawn temporarily, without their foil there.

School should help by sorting out some times they can see each other during the day/letting them know where the other is/etc.

[RedZombie]

Mine are in different classes recommended by the school after speaking to their nursery teacher. I think it has greatly benefitted them.
In Reception lots of activities were shared across the year group (assemblies, school trips, Xmas performances etc) and the teachers also let them move between the classes for the first few weeks.

Before they started they had never spent more than an afternoon apart and I had a huge wobble about how they would cope without each other. But it really has been great.

Mostly the logistics is not that difficult, once you get into a routine it's easy to cope. Having differet homework, actually makes its easier because I can supervise them at the same time rather than doing separately.

Parents evening is a bit of a nightmare tho, and the first few times when only one was invited to a party was very difficult.

[LongStory]

Hi thank you so mucn for your comments. I hadn't thought of the logistics of parents evening, homework, separate party invites ... gosh yes how had I missed that? (I have 3 other older children and a demanding job, eeek).

They are at the nursery attached to the school, and the nursery teacher thinks that they are so different and operate independently with different activities, that they would probably be fine within the loose orbit of the same class. Possibly being part of a larger family, plus being boy/girl, means the 'twin bond' isn't so massive, so I needn't worry about a dependent relationship in the classroom holding them both back.

It would be easier to have them in the same class, and just 'feels' more comfortable not to separate them. But I will need to be really sure that this isn't limiting their potential. I'm off to the Tamba site.... and will keep under review!

[Emphaticmaybe]

We let our DDs stay together for reception year as we felt starting school was a big enough step in itself but when there was the chance to separate them in year 1 we took it. One of our girls had a speech delay and we felt that she needed space to answer for herself. Neither were traumatised by the separation but to be fair the school was tiny (120 pupils in total) so they easily found each other in the playground.

They are 14 now and have spent all their primary school years in different classes, have different friendship groups and outside activities. Now at secondary they share one or two classes at most and have entirely separate social lives - which they love but is a logistical pain for us.

I think we made the right decision though. They are just sisters - there is no pressure to be more than this. They don't come as a package and have definitely developed as individuals and I think that's important as they are forced to share so many things already (looks, room, birthday, 1st experiences etc.) Obviously boy/girl pairs will have more differences but when young can still be treated like a unit which often means the quieter/less confident one is disadvantaged.

If there is the possibility to separate later, (if groups are split when they change year group) I would go for that as they get the benefit of settling in together then branching out as they gain in confidence.

Good luck.

[LongStory]

Good point, I asked DD3 today and she said that she wanted to go to a class for just girls. And Aidan should go to the boys class... Before pointing out to her that Victorian times are over, I did wonder if this was her diplomatic way of asking for separate classes.

Not really worth asking DS3 about it, as I don't think he would understand the question or be able to form a view. Most of his strong views atm involve either chocolate cake or access to electronic gadgets. Hmmmm.

[chutneypig]

It's very tricky. My b/g twins are in Y1 and are in the same class. It's a small school so a mixed R/Y1 class anyway. At the start of last year it worked very well and they settled in, weren't overly dependent etc. they never have been really. Logistically easier as people have said.

Our biggest problem is the comparisons. DD is a class role model (teachers words) and DS not. The tale telling is phenomenal and overall not very positive. DS's behaviour isn't great at the moment. We were asked if we wanted to separate them by moving one to the class above. We felt there would be advantages, and woud have jumped at it if they'd been equivalent classes, but thought one woud feel left behind if one was moved up a class. In hindsight I'm still not sure what would have been better.

Different homework may be an advantage, my two squabble over the same one !

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Lady, if the school is full ie 30 per class, they would be unlikely to let the children move once started as it would take one class to 31.

Op not everyone does whole class parties so you may find there's not much overlap in party invites anyway. Our school splits twins but they have lots of interaction between classes in the first year anyway so it isn't a very stark split.

[doublethelovedoublethekisses]

My G/B dts are in year 1 and we made the decision to seperate them after seeking advise from the school. Dd is quite protective over her brother so we thought it may affect her ability to concentrate if she was constantly worrying about where ds was/what he was doing etc.
They have got on just fine making a nice group of friends independently but still get the chance to play together occasionally.

[MooMa42o]

Hope this doesn't out me however, I have a similar problem only mine are not twins, they have 11 months between them, so due to where their birthdays fall, they are in the same academic year, they are in nursery together, & the school has informed us that they automatically separate twins when they hit the primary school, but this is the first time they will have siblings from the same family in the same year that are not twins, so it will be down to DH & I as to whether they go in the same class or if we want them separated!!....it is such a hard decision to make, we are leaning towards separating them, the work will be the same it is just the teacher & class that differs....I wish the school would just decide to be honest!

Is it just me or do we not really consider beyond babyhood when having children, all these choices/decisions to make, you don't know you have got it wrong until it is too late!!

[Mandy21]

*longstory" your post made me laugh - that is the kind of reaction I would have expected from my DS too if I'd have asked him whether he wanted to be in the same class as his sister or not. He'd have probably asked whether it meant there would be more boys to play football with? Or would they be first in the lunch queue?

[Glittertwins]

Hi. Our two have jut started reception and are in the same class even though there are 3 classes this year. It was our decision and the school said they would also advise us if there were any problems. First half term down and no problems. Fortunately the classes are small enough to move them if necessary. I know of 3 multiples friends who have all taken the decision to split up and a fourth who would love to but can't as its a small village primary.

[doublemuvver]

My b/g twins are in same reception class, the school's policy is to separate twins but somehow my 2 were placed together. We did have the option to separate but they decided they wanted to be together. From what I can gather they don't have much do with each other, they just eat their packed lunch together. Like the earlier comment about tale telling, we get a fair bit of that. We plan to put them in separate classes from Y1, they both seem keen.
They are very close but seems they are not smothering each other and are happy to finds their own ways. All good so far!

[Glittertwins]

The schools we looked at here all said they would consult with us about keeping them together or split the up, non of this enforced rigidity of a policy. Maybe it's me, but I really don't like the idea of a school making that kind of blanket decision.