Anyone else make the hard decision not to have more children after a mc?

[punchinello]

Does it get easieer with time? I have 2 dc and have had 3 mc. Have decided that enough is enough and to concentrate on my boys but whenn I see a pregnant woman who is at the same stage that I should be it hits me. This happened the other night when I saw an old friend who I haven't seen for ages who is due in Septembeer at exactly the same time as I was and I went to pieces! When I say saw I don't mean met up or anything I mean I saw her perform at a amateur show she never saw me and is totally none the wiser at my reaction. (I crept out cried when I'd got myself together I crept back in but feeling extremely shaken.)

[punchinello]

I know it sounds horrible my reaction but it just hit me I kept thinking that should be me. I know my mum was shocked at my reaction when I told her today she knows the woman concerned she's the daughter of good friends of hers and she said this is her first after years of trying and I have got two already and I should be grateful for what I've got!

Also everytime I think I would like another I remind myself of my initial reaction when I just couldn't stop crying at the prospect of 3 under 5. However when I lost the baby I was devastated and felt incredibly guilty about my initial reaction like I wished the baby away! Rediculous and stupid I know!

[punchinello]

that should be ridiculous!

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Hey not much useful to say but couldn't leave you unanswered...

At the mo I still want another dc.tho have only had one mc (mmc picked up at 12 week scan,was devastated)

Totally sympathise with the 'you should feel lucky as you have a dc/dc's' thing.also I paniced when first pg as I wasn't sure how I could cope (ds v bright,and a handful!) so I felt like the mc was my fault even tho we really wanted the baby.

So all in all a crap answer to your post but am trying to say I really sympathise with your feelings

xx

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Ps 2 of my closest friends both just had 20 week scans.I was about 6 weeks behind them before I mc'd.I have made a real effort to see them as I am glad they are ok,I care about them...but it still feels like having my face rubbed in it.that's just the way it is I think

[mistlethrush]

Your reaction doesn't seem surprising. A secretary at work was due 2wks before I was. I've only just managed to see her dw (now 10mo) even though she's arrived at work a number of times - I was really upset with the attitude she had throughout her pregnancy - I had been very low-key with mine as another friend at work had had 2 mc (then a sucessful pg) but absolutely none of that...

I had a mc before ds - it was a mp unfortunatly and I was banned from ttc for 1yr following 4mo chemo - so not a 'normal' mc... but since ds I've had 2 mc - the first one took 3mo for hsg levels to get back to normal and confirm that mp hadn't returned - not a good scenario. After last mc I think dh was really put off ttc (and he's very good at counting) - so very unlikely to have another....

[mistlethrush]

(PS - but I only hoped to have 2 to start with - so have ended up accidently with an only...)