Have any of you had post MC counselling and did it help?

[Thandeka]

I start my first session of counselling this morning following my MMC on Sunday. It has been provided through occupational health although I can also get it from the hospital apparently.

I'm a bit wary, having been to bereavement counselling before and it made me feel 10 times worse so I had to stop going. Basically I am feeling okay and coping with the loss at the min so wondering if I should. I guess I am going to try and get some strategies for coping with questions from the kids I teach, and also to help me make some decisions about work as I am thinking about handing in my notice, and I guess also to try and help me not go so mental when we get back on the TTC bandwagon.

Would be interested in people's thoughts on post-MC counselling.

[jardins]

Hi Thandeka, my post is not about post-MC counselliong as I chose not to go down that road (I've been through counselling in the past on several occasions and I admit that I sometimes wondered if it was such a beneficial thing, but you know, both my eldest sister and my best friend are counsellors so .... I think the best thing about therapy as far as I'm concerned is that I think it's good to hear myself expressing out loud my fears; kind of feels as if I'm being honest with myself). ANYWAY, the reason I'm butting my nose in here is because I read you were considering handing in your notice. This is interesting for me because I decided last year would be my final year of teaching as I wanted to stop BEFORE I reached saturation point. I'd be interested in hearing your reasons for considering stopping. May I be so bold?
Glad you're feeling ok.

[Thandeka]

Hi Jardins. Hmmm was doing okay but now not so much especially since it all started happening a week tommorrow and DH has gone to stay at a mates and I did have another mate coming to stay the night but she can't make it now so looks like will be on own.

Counselling yday did really help though.

Tried to PM you about teaching thingy but it won't let me so drop me a line on thandeka_thomas at the yahoohoodlum co.uk (hope that makes sense trying to avoid spambots!)

[Thandeka]

panic over - mate staying!

[sue10]

Hi there,
after a mmc i did have counselling but tbh it did not help me as the counsellor said something sooooo stupid right at the end of the first session which hurt me more than she will ever know! It was obviously something that she thought was ok to say and probably her belief but i felt it was inappropriate at such a difficult time.

She said that i was not upset because of the loss of my baby but it was because of all the dreams and plans that i had as it was too early to bond!!!!! She was so very very wrong!

Am glad the counselling has helped you Thandeka.

XXX.

[sazlocks]

I haven't but a friend of mine did and she said it helped enormously. Mainly it helped her see that her feelings of grief and loss were totally proportionate to what had happened. It also helped her think about how she might be able to commemorate ? (can't think of the right word) the baby and grieve properly for her and her partners loss.
Good luck

[Molliemooma]

I had counselling after 2 mm/c's and found it invaluable. Initially I was referred to one at my GP surgery, she seemed really miserable tbh and was quite patronising about my reasons for being there, I felt she couldn't empathise at all so refused to go back. My 2nd attempt was the most wonderful woman who helped me through some very difficult times, she completely understood how I felt and really helped me to move on. I am now 6+4 and absolutely terrified that this will happen again. But if it does I know who's door I'll be knocking on

Good luck with the rest of your counselling, and with any future pg's

[Thandeka]

Thanks everyone. (Mollimooma fingers are firmly crossed for you to have a very sticky magic bean that grows into a giant beanstalk (well by giant beanstalk I mean healthy baby but I quite liked the bean analogy))

Had second session today and its definitely helping. I love a good rant me!

[Molliemooma]

Thandeka Glad to hear it is going well, you sound much brighter and postive so it must be doing some good
Oh and I loved the bean/beanstalk analogy thanks