Miscarried one twin - feeling very confused

[ChasingButterflies]

I had an early scan this morning (I am 8+4) because of a mc at 9wks last November.

Scan showed a baby at the right size and with a good heartbeat, which is obviously fantastic. But there was also a second sac, with a much smaller blob visible inside it. Sonographer told us it was a twin pg; she said she thought the 2nd baby had probably died at 4/5wks.

We are and and all at once. We had no idea there could be twins - though I have been feeling extremely sick and tired since 4wks. My hormone levels are v high as well; I got an instant BFP when I was only one day late, but didn't realise why.

I now have tons of questions but was so shocked at the hospital I didn't think to ask then. EPAU midwife did say there was no reason why this would affect the surviving baby.

BUT really, does this make it more or less likely that I will mc the surviving twin? Will the high hormone levels "protect" it?

And how do I work out how to feel about this when I didn't even know I was carrying twins until I was told I wasn't anymore? I am so lucky to have a healthy surviving baby, I know, but this does also mean I have mc-ed again, doesn't it?

[ScorpiowithabigS]

Congratulations on your baby

I think that your baby will be fine despite the other baby still being in there, sometimes the body will re-absorb the small foetus.

You must have so many emotions, i just didnt want this going unread. I suppose yes you have miscarried, BUT you have a healthy other baby in there too.

You can mark the lost twin still, he is no less important than the other one

So sorry and happy for you all at the same time.

[ChasingButterflies]

Thanks Scorpio.

Sorry and happy is how I feel too.

I keep flipping between one reaction and another. Like, I went this morning dreading that they were going to tell me I had miscarried again. So a HUGE part of me is thrilled to see a baby with a heartbeat. But now another part of me has just realised - hang on, they DID tell me I have miscarried again...

[slug]

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

This is actually surprisingly common. The same thing happened to me and to my mother as well. In both cases we carried the other baby to term.

[ChasingButterflies]

Very glad to hear that your surviving baby was ok, slug!

The sonographer seemed quite taken aback and said she doesn't really see this often...

[ChasingButterflies]

Thanks Choklit, so sorry you have been through the same thing. I will search for your thread. Glad to hear your baby is doing well.

I have a booking-in appointment with the midwife next week so will see if she can answer some of the questions. Dp has lots too and he says he would like us to talk to someone together (perhaps the GP).

It's so silly, I keep getting little stabs of excitement at knowing that we CAN have twins, even though, obviously, we're not

[DebInAustria]

same thing happened to my friend and she went on to have a healthy baby girl. I was at the scan with her and i don't know who cried the most! - tears of sadness and joy

[psychomum5]

I am so sorry to read this. please except my sympathy.

I too have lost a twin early in pregnancy, and I wasn;t at the time aware. altho, like you, I had signs it was twins with the showing early and strong sickness etc.

I had been for a very early scan due to not having had any periods after having DD3, but knowing I was pregnant. it showed tho a sac outside of my uterus implying a possible eptopic but as it was so early they really were unsure as to how to proceed, but gave me signs and symptoms to watch for and when to return should I get said symptoms.

I was obviously in shock at that point, but was on a 'watch and wait'.

two weeks later, I start to bleed and get the most horrendous pains, plus pains in my shoulder, so get rushed in. when I was scanned however, I was indeed miscarrying, but they could also see a very clear strong heatbeat INSIDE my uterus.......a twin!!

I at that point felt extraordinary sadness for the miscarried twin, but extreme joy that I was in fact still pregnant. It was a very very bittersweet feeling.

I have always comforted myself tho with the thought that had I not miscarried one of my twins, I actually would not have my DS1, as I was involved in a car accident at 28wks where I hit my bump on the steering wheel. It was touch and go to save DS1 at that point, and me too as I broke my ribs and went into prem labour.

I am certain, that had I still been carrying both babies, I would have lost both, so for me, I can look back with yes, sadness, but also some joy as one twin went to save the other. And I do feel that DS1 feels that too as he often mentioned his 'other brother' even before we told him that he had had a twin. I too am sure that his twin would have been a brother for him, even tho the evidence points to them being fraternal due to where they both implanted.

I am sorry to have waffled so long with my own story, but I am now 9yrs on, and I can look back knowing that for me, this all happened in this way for a reason and so I can comfort myself with it...............you may find your reason for this loss too.

I wish you strength at this time. You heart will be heavy for a while, but also happy, which will make you feel so confused. How can you possibly be happy when you are grieving (I had those thoughts). But there is happiness here. you still have a new life to nurture, and one that will carry forward all your hopes and dreams. And also, (I do believe), some of his or her lost twin. I believe it of my son. And I think he does too

[Nabster]

I miscarried my youngest's twin. The hospital were awful tbh. It has been nearly 4 years and I still feel really sad. I knew I woul dhave twins this time, just thought they would both come home.

My son did have problems but nothing really huge and he is all fine now.

[psychomum5]

oh nabs.

[Nabster]

I missed your post, psychomum5. Sorry for you too.

It would have been so hard to manage 4 kids but so fab to have two of DS2 as he is so scrummy.