miscarriage

[kate030284]

i found out i had a miscarriage yesterday im 25 this was my first pregnancy i was 8 weeks . im really down but feel ok ive been bleeding for a week and they said ive still got to pass my baby im really scared as i dont no what to expect. can anyone give any advice.xxx

[SuziDee]

Hi Kate

I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage it is a terrible thing to go through, I had a missed miscarriage so did not experience passing the baby naturally I had an ERPC procedure to clear the womb.

Were you given any options or support? I hope that you have people around you that can help, I'm sure someone will be along who has been through the same

I am so sorry for your loss x

[kate030284]

i had the option for a medical miscarriage to have pesseries but i declined as didnt want to be in hospital for an hour on my own so ive gone for natural and to phone gau when i think ive passed it and should have scan within a couple of weeks to make sure ive passed it

[kate030284]

i had the option for a medical miscarriage to have pesseries but i declined as didnt want to be in hospital for an hour on my own so ive gone for natural and to phone gau when i think ive passed it and should have scan within a couple of weeks to make sure ive passed it

[steppemum]

Hi Kate You poor thing this is really miserable isnt it? I have had a couple of these, but I also have 3 kids, this doesnt mean you wont have kids some time. You ask about what will happen passing the baby. At 8 weeks it will probably be like a very heavy period for a short time. You may notice that there are lots of clots, and you may notice one larger clot, which is the embryonic sac. To be honest I would plan to stay home for a couple of days, as when this happened to me I needed to be by the loo for a few hours. Get some thick pads too. You may also have stomach cramps like period pains. If you bleed heavily ( more than one pad an hour) for more than one day, you should contact a doctor. If you dont pass the thicker stuff and the clots, you may need a D and C, so go back to your doctor. You do have my sympathy, it is a miserable time. xxx

[kate030284]

thank you for your message it really helps i just feel really usless and i dont no what to do i feel i shpuld be crying nore but i think im in denial at the mo

[BionicEar]

Hiya Kate,

I miscarriaged over the weekend (started spotting on Sat and lost most blood on Sunday which was when I knew it was happening and had scan Mon which confirmed) so can relate to you as this is also my 1st mc.

Sunday - I cried buckets when lost all the blood as knew then.

Monday - was numb but unable to talt to anyone without bursting into tears.

Tuesday - was numb but came across as jolly and talk emotionlessly about mc

Wed (today) - very emotional this morn and this arrvo been a bit moody and then hyper jolly.

So don't feel guilty about not crying more, you'll probably go through a rollarcoaster of emotions over next few days.

I'm just taking each day as it comes, and maybe that's the best way to approach this, as really it hard to know how to approach this whole horrid mc without losing plot totally.

Like you I have been unsure of what to expect as having a natural mc - hate going to the loo as it's a constant reminder of what's happening. Looking on here and at other sites that talk about mc it seem to suggest most bleeding on average goes on between 7 to 14 days. I'm hoping mine will be over soon, and I hope the same for you.

I didn't really take in much of what they said at the hospital and didn't really ask questions at the time, but have found talking to others who have had mc really helpful, so if you have friends/family who been through same thing it might be worth talking to them as they'll be able to support you, and of course those here on Mumsnet are a great source of info and support too.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Hug xxx

[kate030284]

hi ya
that is really helpful sorry for your loss 2 its nice to no its not just happening to me .
ive been bleeding over a week now so i hope it stop soon like u say i hate going to loo scared on what i might see. i feel guility about being off work cuz i dont feel ill. but no i cant go back to soon as work in a+e

my other half wont talk to me about it to hes bottleing it in . how have other partners coping ?

[BionicEar]

Ah we should swap partners then - mine been blubbering like there's no tomorrow, whilst I look on rather bemused!

Seriously I think it's just as difficult for the men, and it can be hard for them to know what to do or to say, hence why some bottle up, and others just weep.

I know what you mean about the work thing. Although not felt bad about having this week off, as know I'll be a liability at the mo with my hormones yo-yoing all over the place. Have been wrestling whether to go back next week or not, but saw GP today who advised me to have more time off, probably partly cos I bust into tears promptly when she asked how I was! She also said I needed to allow my body to recover, and it would take few days before bleeding stop. Gp has given me a sicknote for 2 weeks, but not sure I will use all of it, but we'll see how I'm feeling over next few days.

I seem to only burst into tears on random strangers in the med professionals, but with anyone else I'm like bottling it up and act fairly jolly - am sure they're all thinking I'm not dealing with it, and probably they're right, but find it hard to let guards down at the best of times. Damn these hormones and stubborn woman traits eh?!

Anyway I hope you'll have a better day tomorrow.

It is good to be able to talk to others on here who know what it's like and who are going through it too, as somehow makes it easier to cope, and also to ask questions which you probably can't ask others in RL.

With regard to your partner - it may take a little bit of time for him to open up. Keep trying to talk to him and let him know it's ok for him to show his feelings, and not to have to be the strong one in all of this.

Big hug - we really need a hug emoticon here don't we?!

[kate030284]

hi ya bionicEar

i dont no how i feel 2day i couldt sleep at all last night by brain wundnt let me stop thinking about it i keeped thinking about moment the nurse told me i had a mc.ive not really cried yet i waiting for that to happen i did cry when i startred bleeding maybe that was it?. im still bleeding and its really annoying me now over a week and a half still dont no if passed baby yet. bleeding getting more red and goey ? normal

i have great freinds who have been tho this some not to long ago aswell who have been to see me and that was really nice.

but im sick of people saying oh it happened for a reason why do people say that and u shouldnt have told people so soon went to tell them you have mc that new u were pregnant . people eh!

wat u really need to hear .this has really hlped me thank you soooooooooo much for reply xxxxxxxx

[BionicEar]

Hiya Kate,

I know people say the strangest things, but some do say the nicest things too. You can't win hey?

I know what you mean about the crying - I keep waiting for the big blub and so far it's only been little ones. Know I need to blub but my body resisting it, stubborn as it is!

Glad you've got some good friends out there to support you. I've got some good friends here, and they've been great - lots of hugs and just keepign me company when I've not wanted to be on my own.

Has a text from work pal earlier who asked how I was doing and when I said I was okish and thinking about coming back next week if not too hormonal/in pain- she sent me a text to say no you're not - I shall personally kick you out if you try to come in! Made me laugh as know she would and all!

I wish the bleeding would stop and all. Seem to have random bleedings throughout day and most seem to occur just after going to the loo with hugh stabbing pains/back ache. Today I was out with mate at a cafe/soft play place on a farm, and had bad pains. We go there a lot to chat whilst LOs throw themselves about. Bless my mate she went and got some painkillers from cafe lady as I was in so much pain after going to the loo.

I'm a bit confused to be honest like you if I have pass the baby, as when I went for scan was bit spaced out, but think they said they couldn't see baby on scan, but am unsure whether baby has come out or wasn't in the area of the scan - does that makes sense? Have you pass any clots then - is that what you mean by gooey stuff? Actually I have had some gooey stuff along with clots too thinking about it.

I'm sorry you had a bad night and hope tonight you sleep better. Guess it all that's going on makes the mind go a bit loopy and less willing to sleep whilst thinking it all through.

I'm finding I can't remember what I've said, or forget words and cannot think what I need to say. Are you getting that too, or is it just me?!

It's been good to be able to chat to someone else who currently going through it, although rather wish this wasn't the subject we get to chat on if that makes sense?!

Anyway I'm going to toddle off to bed now - just wanted to let you know I'm still here to chat and it's good to talk.

xxx

[kate030284]

hi hun

im having a ok day today made a bad move tho . went to town to sort wedding stuff and it was baby of the year competition. everyone had pushchairs . i just seemed to be staring at every young mums like i was crazy lady

i really no wat u mean bout forgetting things i forget mid sentence how funny.

re bleeding ive had no large clots but reaaly little ones and like slime stuff (sorry if that to much info lol)somtimes its clear ?.

bout going back to work my boss has arranged my shifts to be covered for 2 weeks so im feeling ok about that.

im really glad we got chatting to but i no wat u mean about the subject.

speak soon big hugs xxxxxx

[BionicEar]

Hello - sorry was outta range yesterday as went to visit friends overnight.

Was finally able to let my guard down and weep and talk about the whole thing, whilst the men were out in town drinking.

My bleeding been more little clots too and little slime stuff too. I find that the pain worst after I've been to the loo, and bleed more then. Not had as much bleeding today, but have felt totally wiped out and sick and achy today so have slept much of day away.

Dr signed me off for 2 weeks last week. Will definetely take this week, but still unsure about having 2 weeks but we'll see. Glad you've got work sorted so you don't have to worry about it.

I'm finding it hard not to stare at bumps and babies too. Guess it's natural given circumstances. Although find myself trying to move away fast from pregnant ladies, as that hurts more than seeing babies.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, and won't be such a fruitloop!

xxx

[kate030284]

hi
ive been to doctors 2day got signed off for 2 weeks . i cried the min the doc asked wat can i do for you she must have thought i was a werido lol. ive got to see my boss next week tho for a chat.

still bleeding lots 2day will it ever stop. im sick of it now !!!!!!

hope u had a good time at u friends . i went on a shoping spree the other day that helped but not my bank balance lol

speak soon big hugs

xxxxx

[BionicEar]

Hiya Kate,

Glad you've got yourself signed off. I finally told my boss have been signed off for 2 weeks and my work pal said "Thank goodness you saw sense!"

Nah Dr won't think you're a weirdo - I did exactly that too on my Dr. If they think you're a loon goodness know what they think of me!

I haven't had as much bleeding today - hooray! Slightly suspious it will come back and bite me with a vengence tomorrow but hey ho we'll see! Really should take out shares in pads company don't you think?!

Ran for the hills again today... via good friend (who we stayed with at weekend) who then drag me up a hill in Windermere with a corking view. Didn't stay up there for too long as it was freezing and her 2 boys were wailing! Fell over on way down - did the splits and got covered in mud! But was good to blow cobwebs away.

Glad you had a bit of retail therapy - always does the trick... even if it scares the bank balance!

Well I'm going to toddle off to bed now. Need my energy for tomorrow - have promised to take LO out for day, so she can have nice Mummy instead of the sad one she had all week. Think she deserves a treat for being a real sweetheart. Did get a lump in my throat earlier when I picked her up from nursery and her keyworker told me that LO during their circle time which was all about feelings, unlike all the other kids who had said they were happy has announced, "I'm sad, cos my Mummy lost our baby and is very sad." She was ok for rest of day apparently, so am relieved about that.

Take care and chin up, but cry if you need to.

xx

[GracieGirl]

Bionic - just to let you know Kate is in hospital not ignoring you! Her bleeding got heavier so they've kept her in.

I'm on the Emmsys miscarriage thread if you want a chat! x

[BionicEar]

Thanks GG - just seen that news on that thread.

Will keep Kate in my prayers.

xxx

[kate030284]

hi ya
im back home . thank god . ive had the worst few days.as i said i started bleeding loads . i passed a few clots wen at my mums and after that it was gushing out. i thought i passed the baby then . but it just came coming and coming . on tues mornibg i coudnt get off the loo i had got though six pads in a hour just from getting off the loo and trying to go downstairs.. i phoned the hosital who told me to come down . she examined me annd got the sac that was horrid .she said that ive got to stay in and have scan in morning i had medication to dilate my cervix which didnt nothig i didnt bleed much wen i got to the ward bloody typical.the funny thing was i wasnt in any pain.had scan yeaterday and still stuff there so had a ERPC bout lunchtime so eventfull few days lol. i had my amasing friends coming to visit me i love them loads

speak soon
xxx

[Biscuit9]

Hi - I too MC during the weekend, i cied a lot... was 6 wks pregnant when this happen. I've not had heavy bleeding which I'm a bit worried - is this normal please? I had heavy period pain on Friday morning and each time I was at the loo I could see the blood flowing which was bright red. The pain was terrible on Friday, same on saturday and sunday gradually stop. Can anyone please advise?

[kate030284]

hi biscuit im so sorry for yor loss .

i didnt have really bad bleeding untill i passed the larger clots. i was the same tho the bright red blood is scary wen u see it in the loo.

i hope u ok
thinking of you xxx

ps try emmsys thread thats really helpful to

[Biscuit9]

thanks kate - (hug)

This was my first pregnancy too It's really painful

I'm a bit worried now as I dont seem to feel if i've passed larger clots

[kate030284]

yeah mine 2 id been trying for over a year with no luck and when it did happen i mc .

when did u mc ? i found out through scan and i was bleeding like a period . i passed my fisrt big clot on monday but been bleeding a week and a half .

i hope u ok

its a really horrible thing to go through but i found this site really usefull have we all ahve been through it

xxxx

[Biscuit9]

Same here, tried for a year and when it happened i lost it. I started bleeding on Friday morning and thought this was normal in pregnancy, it continued till sunday then stopped. But one thing was I had terrible pain!
I only knew that I lost it when I went to the doc yesterday
She could not find anything in the scan just an empty sac. I cried a lot. My partner was here to support me but still wish my mom was here. she passed away last year.
Oh yes this site is very useful...just feel I'm not alone.

[kate030284]

oh hun im so sorry your going through this .my friends and family have been great,

i feel a bit werid 2day bit empty and useless as i now no its def not there anymore .
big big hugs

[Biscuit9]

Hi - Thanks.
When do you think ovulation will start after MC? any idea on this?

[kate030284]

hi ya

im not to sure im going to wait for my AF then work it out from there.
hope u ok and feeling better this am i had ok day yesterday i felt really emotional and empty as i now no there is nothing there and its all over .my freind got me out for retail therapy