lost my bounce

[lostmybounce]

Hello, just joined. I love this site and I'm a terrible lurker but finding this topic has made me feel like I am not alone. So many kind voices.

I have a beautiful boy who is almost nine months and there are so many wonderful moments that always outweigh the times when it's difficult (the sleep deprivation, the refusing to eat, the refusal of my fatness to depart ). There had always been a bounce upwards again. Always. And now it's gone.

I lost a baby one week ago at 10 weeks. I am so sad and flat it's unbearable. I was due to go back to work today after mat leave, pregnant, delighted and counting the days until I was with my babies. I feel like it's been taken away, all my hopes and plans. I feel so guilty to be looking after my lovely boy always sad and on the brink of tears.

I am so scared to think about trying again. Can anyone tell me does this improve when the gloom lifts? (as I hope it will).

Thank you for listening.

[Daynee]

Hi bounce - It sucks plain and simple but I can tell you that I have hope and from what I've heard, it does get better (for most women). I have had 3 mc's in a row. I'm 31 and do not have any children. If I were you, I'd be a pig in shit if I had a baby at home. Perhaps something like this happening to you can help you appreciate what you have and in the meantime, be patient and it will happen. You've been able to have one already and this is your 1st mc?
The gloom will subside. Just enjoy your family and go out, have some wine, and enjoy yourself. Patience is not at all my virtue but it is something to strive for.

[Mung]

Hi. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your name sums it up perfectly. I had a mmc one month ago and it makes all your plans go up in smoke. I remember feeling really down a week or so after the ERPC and then things began to improve.

Try and take comfort in the time you can spend with your DS and look forward to the day when you will suddenly realise that you are bouncing again.

One month on and I feel a huge amount more positive...I hope you will feel more like that soon.

[kissmummy]

hi there, i've had three miscarriages in a row and each time i've felt a bit different and taken a different length of time to feel better. after the second, i felt in a very dark place but only for a short while. i clearly remember phoning a friend who has also had some miscarriages and asking her the same question as you pose. i wanted to know "how long.." Well, in my case, i felt absolutely crap for a few days with my first miscarriage; and crap for quite a bit longer with my second (two weeks, i'd say.) Now, the third has been really different. I felt miserable on the day i found out, but carried on with work as normal. I threw myself into planning a holiday, which we've just returned from. I was so focused on looking forward to the holiday i felt pretty fine in the run up to it. Then, as soon as we got to the resort - bam! i felt abs crap. never felt that kind of misery in my life.
i actually began thinking i'm clinically depressed. yet...a week later, i'm picking up, I think. So this is a long way of saying, you might feel fine in a few days time, but there's no real knowing. you may think you're fine, and then it can hit you later. thinking of you...

[Biccy]

Hi lostmybounce. So sorry to hear what happened. I miscarried two weeks ago today, and only a few days ago I was starting to wonder whether I would ever be able to get it out of my head... well, quite soon after that I discovered I was no longer thinking about it all the time and I am already looking forward to trying again; so, in my limited, but recent, experience, yes, it will improve as the gloom lifts (which it will). xx

[flockwallpaper]

I am pretty sure you will feel more yourself in time. Your hormones are probably still a bit all over the place which might be a factor in how you are feeling as well. Please see the doctor if you aren't feeling better soon. And especially if you need to return to work shortly, be extra kind to yourself. Best of luck. xxx

[barley2]

So sorry to hear what has happend- I understand about the bounce. For me after 2 mmcs in a short space of time I feel as if the sun has gone out in my life, I can fuction and I'm not crying all the time (any more) but the future feels empty and instead of enjoying things like birthdays and the spring, they have sort of passed me by. It is getting gradually better over time though and I think it does take time to get over. I think the difficult thing is that other people (and me before it happend) assume that it's not a big deal and once the physical side has stopped hurting, you return to normal. One thing about your son, enjoy him and don't feel guilty about feeling sad. I also have a 20 month old daughter and although I know the mc's have affected her, things like this do happen in life. I'm also aware that life might not have been the bed of roses I imagine with a second baby and a toddler and there might have been (will be) lots of tears there too! Take care and lots of luck