Depressed and Impatien

[Daynee]

Hey all: I'm just feeling so damn terrible, probably 'cause AF is coming and I want to cry every damn second. Pardon the damn language but I'm so frustrated. After 3 mc's I've been taking some stuff I hope will do the trick the next time but I'm having trouble with all the waiting. I took a test yesterday and it was negative and I totally thought I was preggers. It sucked so I went out with my hubby and friends and drank lots of yummy red wine.

I'm starting to doubt everything else I do in my life - my job, my friends, my beliefs. I don't like anything right now - my friends, my job...and I'm in this limbo where all I want to do is run away somewhere for a while, at least until this madness is over and I've made it to 4 months being pregnant!

I just had to vent and was wondering if anyone feels this way - so impatient and not knowing what to do with yourself in the meantime? Sure, I'm plenty busy with stuff (work, grad school) but it really doesn't matter because I still feel like jumping out a damn window . I'm trying to get myself to forget about wanting a baby so bad but how does one do that? I want to feel like I did before the first mc, like - hey, no big deal - we'll try to get pregnant I'm in no hurry. Of course, at the time, I had no idea what I was about to face. I just wish wish wish that I could just not think about it so much and not want it so much and just be patient and wait and know that it will happen when it is supposed to....easier said than done!

[mermaidspurse]

daynee big hug for you, sometimes it all wells up. It feels like its overtaken our lives. red wine sounds good thoughx

[sifuentes]

Sorry you're having such a shit time Daynee and hope you feel better soon. I can't say anything that will make you feel better other than that this feeling will pass and you will feel better again soon. You might have another crap phase too but the important thing to remember is that the crap phases don't last forever.

Really hope you things feel better soon.

Sounds like you need a trashy movie and praps some more vino? x

[LaLaBingBong]

Hi Daynee,

I can understand completely how you're feeling. I have had 2 missed miscarriages in the last 4 months, and am now taking medication for an underactive thyroid (just diagnosed) which should hopefully mean my body is better prepared for pregnancy next time. We have been told that we have to put TTC on hold until my thyroid levels are normal, and it is the most frustrating thing in the world. I am not a patient person, and can't stop thinking about wanting to be pregnant and trying again. I hate that we can't even try for a while.

So "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" for both of us. It's such a hard time and I don't think there is an easy way to get through it, or take away the frustration. I have to continually tell myself to take it day by day, and each day is a day closer to it happening.

Hope this help.

[HeadFairy]

Daynee, I think we've bumped on these threads before. My overriding feeling when I have a mc is frustration and impatience. I just want to get on and get pregnant. Not this irritating crap with getting pg then losing it at 6 weeks. So no, you're really not alone. I'm totally pissed off with it all too.

[Daynee]

Thanks guys. LaLa Bing - I also have hypothyroidism and am taking meds but what's so frustrating is that no one really knows what the true reason is. Could be the thyroid, could be progesterone, could be this could be that!
HeadFairy - How are you doing these days? It's good to know I'm not alone in my madness and it helps just to have someone be as pissed off as me.
mermaidspurse - Talk about taking over our lives - that is the statement of the year for me. It's like, what happened to my real life because for the past year and a half I've been living in an alternate universe full of empty promises.
sifuentes - I'm definitely all about the wine and movies. Give me a good horror flick (or cheesy romance) and let me stuff my face with wine and nachos and I'm good to go....at least for the time being!

[HeadFairy]

I'm doing ok really (apart from the insane frustration of course ) Sif and a few of us are busily ignoring our cycles over here Most of us have had mc's and we're fed up of ttc and the time it's taking, so usually we chat about anything but ttc Feel free to come along and join us in ignoring it all!

[Biccy]

Hi Daynee. I'm feeling it too. Been trying since September, conceived twice, lost the second one at 7 weeks last week. I know that 5 months isn't that long, but we wanted to start trying before we did (but couldn't really due to family circumstances) and it just feels like an age since I've been thinking about pregnancy - either wanting to get pregnant, wondering whether I am, trying not to do pregnancy tests, then thinking about being pregnant, and then (as now) constantly thinking about how I'm not pregnant. Just want to stop thinking about it all - but how?
You have my sympathy. xx

[Daynee]

Hi Biccy - Thanks for writing. I'm so sorry to hear of your recent loss. 5 months doesn't sound long but when you're going through it all, it's like an eternity. For my dh and I, it's been a year and a half since we first started trying and 3 failed pregnancies later, I'm feeling like I can just pop. Everyone says the same thing - "Just stick to it. Everything will happen when it's supposed to." I know they are just trying to help but I really want to scream at them!
I just got my period and I'm totally disappointed, although I guess now I can begin the countdown again to ttc.
I'm also wondering if stress has anything to do with this all. I've heard that stress may play a role in mc but of course, that is inconclusive like every other potential cause. I've noticed that the 3 times I conceived I was on vacation...
Will you be tring again soon?