My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

having my third miscarriage in eight months...exhausted, miserable, baffled. now what?

23 replies

kissmummy · 10/02/2009 15:14

been for early scan today as started bleeding yesterday and it's bad news again. I was seven weeks along.
this will be my third miscarriage since the summer - one in July, at seven weeks; a missed miscarriage at eight weeks in December, and now this. am devastated, exhausted, confused, baffled - we have a little boy who is 18 months old who arrived without hitch. we never saw this coming in any shape or form. one mc seemed bad luck; two seemed really bad luck, and three...well, three just freaks me out...what on earth is going wrong with me? What tests are available on the NHS, and is there much they can do anyway? I get the feeling that there really aren't many treatments for recurrent miscarriage? should we leave it a few months - have a rest from the whole sorry saga - or plough on? i'm 34, will be 35 this summer. I've never smoked, am slim, and have done everything possible to give myself the best chance. clearly we can get pregnant nice and easily, but for whatever reason i can't hang on to them....

OP posts:
Report
HeadFairy · 10/02/2009 15:16

Hi kissmummy, so sorry you're going through this There's lots in information here about the tests you can take to see if there's anything identifiably wrong with you.

Report
ladyhelen2 · 10/02/2009 15:22

Sorry to hear this kissmummy. See your GP as soon as you can and see if you can get a referral to a recurrent miscarriage specialist. Just to give you some hope though, I had 3 mc in 15 months and am now 28 weeeks pg and all looks ok, so don't dispair. I was pg within 6 weeks of the last mc.

Give yourself time to grieve. Have a nice large glass of wine and book yourself a pamper treatment. Am sure your DH will look after you.

And as far as TTC again, go with how you feel. There don't appear to be any rights and wrongs here. Its down to you.

Good luck.

Report
Hangingbellyofbabylon · 10/02/2009 15:26

so sorry to hear your news.

Report
all4us · 10/02/2009 15:56

Hiya, do you think that maybe you cant carry a certain sex?

im really sorry for you...I went into work for the first time today..thought only my boss knew..turns out the whole office knows!! nice!!

I hope that even if though its crappier than crap ..that it passes soon for you without too much pain

xxx

Report
OracleInaCoracle · 10/02/2009 16:01

you should be referred to a recurrant mc unit now, they will run a wide range of tests, progesterone, tests for the thickness of your blood and probably take a swab. its soul destroying and horrible but there is no evidence to suggest that some women cant carry a certain sex, but unfortunately rmc is one of the areas of medicine that they still know very little about.

Im so sorry that this has happened again x

Report
leolo · 10/02/2009 16:33

I'm so sorry kissmummy. I, too, have had 3 mcs (6, 9 and 7 weeks), over 15 months. I've got a DD aged 2. I've been offered a shed load of blood tests, which encompass clotting problems/incompatibility with DH(!)/chromosomal defects. I'm told the tests take 2 weeks to come back. Trouble is, if they're clear it'll be down to me. I'm 45... and all that that entails. On the plus side, I had DD at 43 without a hitch so that's why I'm pushing for tests. You're only 35. A youngster! Plenty of time yet. You'll just know when you're ready to try again. I did. Hope this helps.
x

Report
sifuentes · 10/02/2009 17:02

kissmummy i am so sorry that you have had such a shocking time of it. You must be beside yourself.

A friend of mine had three in a row and then had progesterone pessaries and was fine with her fourth pregnancy. in fact she is now nearly due with her second babe, without an MC in between.

I hope that you can and will take the time you need to look after yourself and treat yourself.

Report
kissmummy · 10/02/2009 17:02

thanks everyone. i've just ordered lesley regan's book and another book on miscarriage, which i'll read when i feel strong enough. and i guess we'll just have to keep going....i'll have whatever tests are going, but i'm not really pinning much hope on them finding anything as i've read
that it's quite unusual for the test to identify a problem, especially if you already have a child.
my mum had my little sister in her 40s, so hopefully she's passed on some good fertile genes to me and we have a bit of time to get this to work!
what a saga though....

OP posts:
Report
lizzie9442 · 10/02/2009 17:26

im so sorry kissmummy its horrible isn't it. I will probably be in the same boat next week once had scan as been bleeding> I also had mc in july and December. Maybe we are not giving our bodies enough time between pregnancies. I think if i loose this one I will wait a while as it so heart breaking when it happens over and over again. good luck with your future pregnancies and so sorry about your loss. xxxx

Report
kissmummy · 10/02/2009 19:44

thanks lizzie - there's still hope for you though. my best friend had loads of bleeding during early pregnancy and had basically near enough written the whole thing off - she was amazed when they found a healthy heartbeat. she is now 21 weeks or so and it has been going fine. so i will be hoping that it works out for you. please post after your scan. i think we will also give ourselves a break for a bit. waiting is also hard because you feel you want to do something and each time you get pregnant it's a new hope but i agree that perhaps our poor bodies need a rest - not to mention our poor minds!

OP posts:
Report
all4us · 10/02/2009 19:50

my mum says that you need to rest your body after something like that..but i agree the urge to get pregnant again is very powerful...cus you think that maybe just maybe it might just be this time lucky!!

although there is no evidence to suggest that some women cant carry a particular sex..I believe that its something that you cant rule out as the mystery of miscarriage I feel will continue with many unanswered questions...

good luck you xx

Report
cfullalove · 10/02/2009 21:19

Don't know if this will help you at all...

I am miscarrying for the 4th time, found out today. I have had tests done and they have found no cause for the miscarriages. It can seem really frustrating to be in this situation, I can imagine how you are feeling.

I am sure you have looked up tests now from the advice given on the postings. I have to say that Early Pregnancy Unit and Consultant that I saw were great, even though there is not much they can do for me at present.

I know I am waffling on but the crux is, remain positive. I still feel really positive that my husb and I will manage to have a baby.It is horrible and feels like the most unfair thing ever to be in the situation that you are in. I am 34 (35 in 6 weeks) so we are in the same boat.

The earlier advice to have a glass of wine is a good one, I have treated myself and enjoyed it!

Report
kissmummy · 10/02/2009 21:48

thanks cfulla, i really really hope we both get there in the end! i feel strong enough to go through this a few more times if need be - i'm not giving up for a long while yet!

OP posts:
Report
giraffescantdancethetango · 10/02/2009 21:49

Im sorry. x

Report
Fozzie78 · 12/02/2009 15:37

So sorry kissmummy I am thinking of you xx

Report
alt1980 · 02/03/2009 18:40

I am 29 years old, I have a 3 year old and just had 3 without a hitch in 2005. I have now had 3 miscarriages in the last 10 months. One d&c at 8 weeks, a natural miscarriage at 11 weeks, and on February 12th a D & E at 14 weeks. The babies were actually only 8 weeks, 6 weeks and 13 weeks along. We saw the third babies heartbeat on ultrasound at 10 weeks, it was very strong. Any feedback on what might be going on? Anyone miscarry a baby that passed as late as 13-14 weeks?

Report
Daynee · 03/03/2009 13:13

kissmummy - So sorry for your losses. Believe me, I totally feel your pain. I just had my 3rd mc but I don't have a child so you should feel lucky and know that you can do it and will do it. I am dreadfully scared because I haven't yet been able to carry a single one. I'm 31 and have had all tests. I have something called MTHFR which is no biggie if you just have one mutation. I have to take A LOT of folic acid because my body doesn't absorb it well. Make sure you ask the doc if they test for that because about 30% of the population has this and it is connected to mc. Then again, many things are but like lissielou said, there's still so much they don't know! Arg.
alt1980 - You are still young and have a child so don't worry too much. I have not had a mc that late - all mine were 4 1/2, 5, and 7 weeks. I believe that later mc's may not be the cause of progesterone or chromosomes but possibly something with the uterus. Have you had an HSG (xray of uterus)?

Report
kissmummy · 03/03/2009 21:53

hi daynee, what is MTHFR and how do they test for it? is it a simple blood test? i am going for my blood tests tomorrow; it wasn't mentioned by my GP. i've only just seen your post so it's probably too late for me to get tested for it tomorrow...

OP posts:
Report
Daynee · 03/03/2009 22:31

MTHFR is a genetic mutation that can lead to elevated homocysteine levels or clotting (if you have two copies) and also makes it difficult for your body to absorb folic acid and B vitamins. I only have one copy so I take prescription strength folic acid plus extra on top of that and when I get preggers will probably do a baby aspirin. You'll have to ask your GP if they can do it (another time). I'm here in the U.S. so I don't know if it's different there.
Much luck. Keep me posted.

Report
flockwallpaper · 04/03/2009 00:24

I really sympathise, I have been in a similar position to you guys, in fact your original post kissmummy could have been mine, but I went on to have a child when I felt it was hopeless so trying to spread some positive vibes.

I found that giving myself a little break from trying for a family and focusing on something else positive for a short while was actually quite helpful, although I also understand how hard it is when you feel that time is not on your side (I was a first time mum at 37 so time may be more on your side than you think btw). I think the biggest benefit was for my poor partner, who was getting stressed by it all.

My project to take my mind off things for a while was to plant and tend a vegetable garden, but whatever floats your boat really!

Report
JodieO · 04/03/2009 00:30

I think secondary infertility is fairly common so don't think they won't find anything wrong, they may well do. I've had 5 mc's and 3 dc's, it's not nice and I wish you all the best.

Report
solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 04/03/2009 01:15

I have heard very good things about the miscarriage centre at St Mary's Hospital in Paddington, London (sometimes called the Save A Baby unit). A good friend of mine had about 5 MCs - she has a dd - but she got referred there and is now about 30wks PG - she recommends this clinic. You don't necessarily have to live in London, she lives in Essex.

Report
kissmummy · 04/03/2009 21:54

my gp did volunteer to refer me to this clinic, but she also said that most of the leading specialist knowledge built up in this clinic has now been spread around, so other NHS miscarriage clinics are pretty much equally good. my gp was very good and sympathetic so i suspect she would be prepared to refer me to the St Mary's one if i have no luck wherever i am referred to first. ( i thought there might be a shorter waiting list for a less famous unit). anyway not even had a referral letter yet - though saw the GP at least ten days ago - so not holding my breath!

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.