limbo

[victoriakate]

I've not posted here before, but I just wanted to see what everybody's experiences had been.

My last period was on the 9th December, although I had some bleeding around Christmas. Because of this, and some more really light bleeding a few weeks ago, my GP arranged for me to have an early scan.

I went to the EPU last week (6 weeks) and was scanned- they saw a gestational sac but nothing else. Had two lots of bhcgs which were high but not doubling at 48 hours.

Went back for a scan yesterday....now there's a yolk sac but still no fetal heart beat. Have been told to expect the worst, but to come back next week for scan number three so they can make a final decision.

Am absolutely fed up.....really upset, and feel as if i'm in total limbo. I can't start to grieve my (very likely) miscarriage cos i still feel like i want to cling to any hope i can, but realistically everything looks pretty bleak.

My husband is being absolutely lovely- really supportive- but I just feel bl**dy miserable and pretty helpless. Am sick of the epu already.....and i'm feeling really apprehensive about going back for another scan.

Any similar experiences would be very much appreciated- would like to feel like there's some light at the end of this tunnel and try to stop feeling so sorry for myself!

[gigglewitch]

have similar experiences
((hugs))
take some time out, and sorry it is hell whilst it is going on.

[chocoholic]

Sorry you are going through this.

It is awful that you have to wait another week in limbo but there is still some hope things will be OK so hang on in there.

I started posting on MN when I was going through a similar time in my life and met some lovely people during a pretty bleak time so you are in a good place.

[Sesthinks2009willbeagreatyear]

Everyone's experience is unique but I've been in a similar place. I'm happy to share...

Found out I was pg with DC1 Feb 08 and discovered mmc at the 12 week scan in April. Had an ERPC.
Mid May I had a BFP. Hadn't thought to test for a BFN after ERPC and had no idea whether it was a new pg or not. A week later I still had a BFP so saw my GP who asked me to wait another week and if still positive to go back. A week later I was back and an appointment was arranged for a scan.
The scan a week later was inconclusive and so I had a series of blood tests for hcg. At first the doctors said the hcg was enough to be a new pg but then the levels never increased and a further scan suggested something there but not a viable pregnancy. In the end I had another ERPC at the end of June. What I also found difficult was that no one was able to tell me whether I'd has a 2nd mc or whether the first ERPC had been incomplete.

There was about 5-6 weeks of being in limbo and it is awful trying to balance not getting your hopes up but not giving up.

I've shared my story in the hope that you will see that others have been there and come through - I am now 25 wks pg.

My thoughts are with you and I really hope things turn out well for you. Keep posting if it helps.

[wasabipeanut]

Oh I am so sorry you are going through this.

I have been through similar of late so can understand comepltely - went for a scxan at 7+5 and was told the gestational sac and yolk sac were measuring 6 weeks. I was told to wait for a week and then have a rescan and this was my limbo - it was truly awful. You can't grieve but don't want to have false hope. It's unbelievable difficult to just carry on functioning as normal so give yourself some time if you can.

I had bloods taken which were rising but only marginally and ultimately I'm afraid the outcome for me wasn't good. A mmc was diagnosed but I started to bleed at 8+5 and actually miscarried nearly a week later.

The outcome for you will hopefully be different but whatever the case you need to give yourself time and space away from the daily grind to let your feelings be.