late 30s!!!

[bitchyfanny]

many of us "more mature" ladies who are ttc, seem to be on a bit of a downer, im 38, but dont feel 38, we all seem to sell ourselves short. so many times ive read time is running out for us. did anyone see the woman on lorraine kelly this morning, she was 48 and 6 and a half months pregnant, she looked brilliant. so we should stop giving ourselves such a hard time. i bet none of you feel your ages. sorry to waffle, but im fed up with thinking im old, when im not, im sure im not the only one.

[ClaudiaSchiffer]

Bitchyfanny don't get despondent about your age yet, I had a suprise daughter, conceived naturally and born when I was 39, after years of fertility probs. She was and is bloody fantastic. Mind you I now feel about 150 some days but Jeez it's so worth it. Do you have any dc's yet? Good luck x

[mumoverseas]

age is just a number. I know that so called experts say that your fertility reduces after your mid 30's but I'm 41 and 35 weeks pregnant after a totally unexpected pregnancy and my mother was 42 when she had me.
A friend of mine spent years trying to conceive her DS and had to go through several attempts at IVF to have him. Then last year she unexpectedly fell pregnant (was not taking precautions as assumed that she couldn't conceive) and had another baby in July.
Don't give up xxx

[Joolsiam]

I'm TTC#1 at 39 - conceived at 38 and mc'ed, so I know it is possible. I worried I was too old till I found MNet and realised how many people out there are successfully starting or adding to their families into their forties

[lizziemun]

Sorry you are feeling down. It is hard especailty as everyone around just seem to get pregnant.

My story is as follows to give you a bit of hope.

Started ttc in feb 2002 at the age of 32yrs took until jan 2004 to have dd1. Started ttc in nov 2004 at the age of 34yrs had a miscarriage in 2005 at 35yrs. finaly had dd2 in sept 2007 a month before i was 37.

Now at 39yrs i am 33wks pg with dc3 after just one night of not being careful .

[bitchyfanny]

im so pleased for you lizziemun, we all hope it works out in the end and i do love reading happy stories, i suppose we all have to have some heartbreak to appreciate the good stuff even more.

[Daynee]

Congratulations on your successful pg lizzie and mumoverseas. I'm beginning to think I may end up having kids in my later 30s too! I'm 31 now and have had 3 mc's in a year and a half. What really stinks is I've never had a dc so I'm really scared that it's going to be realy hard for me. It isn't that I wouldn't want to have kids in my late 30s, it's just that I don't want to have to wait that long. I know if it came to it, I'd have to do all that I can (IVF?).

What I've noticed from a lot of women on here is that their successful pregnancies seemed to have just happened! Does anyone feel like that old cliche really applies here - "Good things come to those who wait"....or that other one - "It'll happen when you least expect it." Well, I'm waiting...but I can't get myself to not expect it when I'm trying for it and really want it!!
Much luck to you fanny . Don't worry - you're not old at all....40s are the new 30s anyway.

[bitchyfanny]

have you had any tests daynee

[chandellina]

well it's good to think positive but the reality is fertility does decline dramatically at 35 and 37.5. It doesn't matter how old you look or feel - your eggs are not enjoying the benefits of an increasingly "ageless" society.

yes there are miracles out there - i had one - but i think it is really misleading to think that the (few) success stories mean it will happen for everyone.

i don't mean to kick anyone while they're down, and god knows i drew faith from the success stories. My point is that a lot of us, myself included, look around in our early and mid thirties and think we have all the time in the world because of a few high-profile women having babies late.

it was a harsh wake up call when i had two miscarriages, two years of failed fertility treatments of every type (including two IVFs) and was told my chances of another IVF working were 5%. (this was at age 37).

my successful pregnancy did "just happen" that same month and is now six months old - i am still thanking my lucky stars every day.

i know not everyone is in a position to try conceiving earlier, but for anyone who is - my advice is always to get going because you don't know how long it might take.

and if you are past 35 and trying - definitely get all the testing done as early as possible and don't let time run out ...

[Daynee]

Hey fanny - So far I've had an HSG which is an xray of the uterus to see if your tubes are clogged or anything is wrong. That was fine. I've also had kareotyping and been checked for viruses like sickle cell and hepatitis. Next I'm taking a whole long list of blood tests for clotting and antibodies. I have to wait another week for that and then wait another 2-3 weeks to get the results. I didn't know the results would take soooooooo long - not that 2-3 weeks is like long in real life...but in my life right now it's like a darn eternity! How are you feeling today??
Chandellina - I appreciate your honesty. I agree that you have to face the facts and I'm glad I started when I was 30 - 'cause I had no idea it would even be taking this long. I figured bing bang boom! Was I sorely mistaken. I should have started 5 years ago - but I couldn't because I didn't meet my awesome wonderful soulmate until a few years ago!
I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. Did they run any tests? I heard of this IVF treatment where they can do genetic testing for chromosome abnormalities before they put the eggs in. Did you do that? I'm just curious because I may need to go that route. I'm glad it "just happened" for you. But why oh why can't it just happen when we want it to! Are you hoping for another dc?

[chandellina]

Hi Daynee, i did have lots of tests, after my miscarriages and again during infertility "investigations." I never had the tissue of the miscarriages tested though, so will never know what went wrong. (and will always agonize over it.)

The tests never came up with anything, though there were the odd little things that at one time or another i thought might be the issue.

Then when I had IVF, i responded poorly to the drugs, which led the doctors at my clinic (Guy's Hospital in London) to conclude that my eggs were of poor quality and running out.

It only takes the one good egg though...

My IVF consultant also did an HSG on me a few months before i conceived, so he thought that might have done the job, though there was no apparent blockage, and i'd obviously been pregnant before.

I would love to have another child - that would be amazing. Unfortunately at the moment I am sidelined from even trying because i had a difficult birth with forceps and an episiotomy and they stitched me up so tight - sex is not possible!! i am having surgery to fix it soon though.

best of luck with your testing. i have heard of the testing for abnormalities and i think they actually do it at Guy's.

[Daynee]

Hey again - chandellina I was actually about to post something about "bad eggs" because I'm wondering if this could be it - lord knows! I never had any of my mc tissue tested either - what might that tell you?
I keep hearing of new things but my doc only hasn't mentioned getting the mc tissue tested or an FSH to test egg quality...

I certainly hope you get that surgery soon - time's a wastin'. And I dont' know about Guy's - I'm in Ohio, U.S. I've been seeing someone here is pretty good, I think.

XOXO

[chandellina]

if they tested the tissue, you'd know for sure if there had been a chromosomal abnormality, rather than some other cause. (like clotting, antibodies, etc.)

at your age, i doubt it's "bad eggs." hence why your dr probably isn't that concerned with your FSH level.

i'm sure you are in good hands in the U.S. Here we don't even have reproductive endocrinologists!

[HeadFairy]

bitchfanny thanks for posting this. While it's true that our eggs are ageing at the same rate even if we look better and feel younger at this age than previous generations, but it's by no means the end. I'm 38 and just had my second mc, I spoke to the mw today who did my bloods and I mentioned the age thing, she wasn't concerned, she just said well you aren't under 35 that's sure, but you're not that old either. We're just much more aware of these things because we're ttc, we're closely following our cycles and we know when we're just a day late. Having had a mc I now think I've had at least one before, if not two, in my early 20s and they were definitely not age related!

[RiaParkinson]

i have had a few children

had my fourth at 35 followed by my first m/c at 36.5 I had got pg first month trying

Got pg again ( first month trying) at 37 and had him at 38

got pg again ( first month) at 39 lost it at only 5 weeks

got pg again immediately and had him at 40 ( last july)

I do regard myself as lucky -despite the m/c's but its not all doom and gloom!

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

My cousin had her DD and DS by IVF.

And then when she was 42, naturally had DD2 who was a total surprise....

[HeadFairy]

There are those who believe that many women get a fertility surge in their 40s just before the onset of menopause. It's like their body's last reproductive hurrah. I know lots of women who've had surprise babies in their 40s

[CHOCOLATEPEANUT]

I agree about age being a number

I had dd 1 at 36 and ds at 40

i had two mcs and a stillborn dd inbetween but you just HAVE to keep trying

good luck
xxxx

[bitchyfanny]

my mum had my brother at 41, chandellina i had all 4 of my kids at guys hospital, not really relevant to the convo, but just thought id slip that one in!! ive also had a hsg, (wowww that was painful) they found i only have 1 tube working due to my sterilization reversal. after my last dd i never thought it possible to ever have another baby, but for me getting pregnant twice was amazing, considering id gone from no chance to some chance, im having bloods done on monday to check my thyroid, think maybe this could be part of the reason for mcs.

[chandellina]

good luck with that! my TSH was always on the high side but still just barely in the lab parameters. Whereas that same level in the U.S. would have meant i'd be put on drugs to bring it down.

no idea if that was part of my problem but it's great if you can find sympathetic doctors who don't follow NHS guidelines to the T.

for example, my GP wouldn't prescribe progesterone suppositories in my first two pregnancies (the miscarriages), saying low progesterone was a symptom not a cause of miscarriage. Later testing found my progesterone levels were regularly low, and when i conceived my son, i took suppositories and baby aspirin - and had a baby.

[RiaParkinson]

chandellina

I have done the baby aspirin with my last 3 babies

[bitchyfanny]

i took low dose asprin and still mc