Missed Miscarriage still feel So Pregnant

[SuziDee]

Hi All

Was diagnosed with a blighted ovum last Thursday at what should have been 9w 2d scan. I am absolutely gutted as had no idea that anything was wrong. I have been instructed to wait a week and go back to have another scan before they will scedule a D & C the thing is I still feel so pregnant I am waking up in the night as the nausea is so bad and am also tired hate the smell of coffee my boobs realy hurt etc.

It's just so odd to feel 100% pregnant but know that things have gone wrong, has anyone else been through this? To be honest I am hoping that I will miscarry naturally but I'm worried that this won't happen if my hormones are still so strong

Has anyone else been through this how long would it normally take to miscarry naturally? How have people found D & Cs would be lovely to hear from anyone just feeling confused at the moment.

[Joolsiam]

Hi Suzi

Sorry to hear this is happening to you

I can't give you specific advice as I mc'ed naturally at nearly 12 weeks and don't know when the baby died. I am sure people will be around who have experienced the same as you but I didn't want your post to go unanswered for too long

Just some advice - after an ERPC or natural mc, your hormones will be all over the place for a while - take some time out if you can, veg on the sofa, eat choc, drink wine and let your feelings out - don't bottle things up, and don't worry about how you are feeling - it will be perfectly normal and everyone posting in this section will understand.

[SuziDee]

Hi Jools

Thanks for your reply, just reading through this board actually helps a lot, I will try to take your advice! I'm sorry to hear about your mc

x

[detoxdiva]

Suzi - sorry for your loss. I had a mmc in Oct - picked up at my 12 week scan when I should have been 11+6. I started to miscarry 2 days later naturally after booking in for a ERPC the following week. I think it is hard to know when things will take their course naturally but when you have found out perhaps this helps things along.

I stopped feeling pg once the miscarriage had started as physically seeing it happening along with the hormonal changes in the body make it 'real' that the pg is over. I have no experience of an ERPC but just wanted to say that if you do wait for nature to take it's course, get plenty of painkillers as the contraction type pains are quite intense for the first 12 hours of heavy bleeding.

Like Jools said - take time after to rest and recover whatever the outcome. Don't underestimate the hormonal changes on your body as well as the physical. I took a week off work and just vegged and ate! Have someone to talk to and as hard as it is, try and accept that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this happening, and that you will conceive again when the time is right for you.

[rhubarbrhubarb]

Hi SuziDee

Firstly so sorry for your news. It is always an awful time. I am not a doctor so all I can say is that I have had 3 miscarriages. The first was a missed miscarriage and I bled at 11 weeks but the baby had dies at around 7. For that I had the D&C. Possibly this was because I just wanted to get it over with and move on as I was in a lot of pain and very upset.

For the other 2 I let is happen naturally and both times it was over withing 10 days. Very heavy bleeding but funnily enough there was no pain - which is partly why I let it happen the natural way - I could not face the D&C again and going under the anaesthetic.

It's a very personal time and my heart goes out to you.

The good news is don't give up - I have had 3 miscarriages in total and have a son of 3 years 9 months and am currenlty 15 weeks pregnant. Still scared this will end in tears but I have made the first stage. Thinking of you
xxxxx

[YouLukaBeautiful]

Sorry to hear your awful news.
I have had two mmc. The first I waited to miscarry naturally. It took almost three weeks which took me to 15 weeks. Baby measured about 6 weeks only. It was a very traumatic and dramatic labour needing transfusion and long period of recuperation -I didn't regret waiting for a natural miscarriage. I just didn't feel capable of going through assisted miscarriage. I wasn't ready for my baby to be taken from my body before 'it was ready'
Whan I had another mmc shortly after at 12 weeks, baby measuring 9 I opted for a d and c the next day. This decision was also the best one for me with this pregnancy and baby.
My thoughts are with you .

[hobnob57]

Hi SuziDee,
I had a missed mc picked up at the same time as you. I was devastated, naturally, and the choices I was offered bewildered me. For me, I went with my mum's advice to have an erpc so that I could stop feeling pregnant as soon as possible - partly so that I wouldn't torture myself with whether things were still ok or not, and partly so that I could stop feeling so sick.
I was offered the erpc the next day, and immediately felt better. Too better, really. But it was an ok prcedure for me. I don't react to anaesthesia, but the dilating pills they give you beforehand gave quite sore cramps. I actually relished the chance to spend a day in hospital in peace and quiet to read a book and sort my head out.
Afterwards, I was on a bit of a high to be done with it all, then came the low a few days later. And the wobbly emotions and hormones lasted a couple of weeks after that. It still preys on my mind a month later a lot, but I'm ready to move on now I think.

Whatever you decide, take good care of yourself and don't feel pressured to be normal again too soon.

[bitchyfanny]

hiya suzidee, i had a miscarriage at 7 weeks,(aug 19th 08) this happened naturally, i have just recently (new years eve)opted for a erpc for a 10 wk pregnancy as i couldnt face the thought of waiting to miscarry naturally and also i couldnt go through seeing what i was losing again. after the op i felt very well physically, but emotionally i was a wreck. i also had no idea whatsoever that anything had gone wrong, i had an emergency scan because i had lost a little red blood 4 days previous, even up to lying on the bed i was not worried, i had no clue the baby had died. it has taken a week for my boobs to stop hurting, but i had no other pregnancy symptoms, no sickness, which im now led to believe isnt a good sign. so personally i think an erpc is less truamatic than natural miscarriage. although im all for nature taking its course, i found i was just not strong enough to wait for nature. hope this helps in some way. im thinking of you. dianne

[duchesse]

I had a D&C after mmc at 13 weeks (baby measured 12 weeks 3 days). I opted for the D&C for a variety of reasons (I was advised that a mc at the size the foetus was could well be very painful and drawn out, and as I would need anti D afterwards and we were about to go on holiday, a D&C seemed the best option). I am glad I did from a getting it all out of the way quickly point of view. The only thing I really regret is not seeing the body, which in the early hormonal stages would have helped I think.

[clarey2311]

Hi Suzi,
Sorry to hear your news.
I found out that I had a mmc on 29th Dec -first scan and looked like a perfect bean - just no heartbeat . Scan measured 9+6 and I was supposed to be 10 and a half so I guess it happened around Christmas Eve (I had some brown spotting that day, went to GP and 29th was first day she could get me in). I initially opted for medical management but after researching it scary stories about poor success rate put me right off (sometimes the net is a very bad thing). I spoke to a few friends who had waited / had medical management and in one case it took 5 weeks to happen. I didn't feel I could go through the not knowing when it would happen bit so I had ERPC on New Year's Eve. It went fine and was totally the right decision for me, I still have a little bit of bleeding today (2 weeks tomorrow since I had surgery) but it's light and I haven't had real pain. I agree with all the comments above re not underestimating hormones. I felt as fine as could be for the first week or so given the circumstances but this week I have been crying out of the blue and feeling very run down with headaches etc, it's all related. I didn't rest enough when it happened. I'm 35 and it was my first try so now I'm worried I've left it too late (completely irrational), but trying not to panic too much. Good luck with your decision - keep coming back here for support, it's been amazing for me over the last 2 weeks.
Clare

[bluesatinsash]

Oh Suzi - so sorry to read about your loss.

I've had two mmc in the last fourth months. first one, scanned at 8 weeks due to regular brown bleeding (and lack of any ms symptoms which I'd been floored with with DS), left scan and two hours later started to mc naturally which was just horrible. Ended up in hospital for monitoring but avoided theatre, bled heavily for a week then lighter for a futher week.

Second mmc had 'reassurance' (ha!) scan at 8 weeks, no heartbeat, bean only measuring 5 weeks. Total shock as I had had no bleeding, was throwing up every day and feeling rubbish. Opted for ERPC (Evacuation to remove products of conception) but due to xmas holidays couldn't get booked until 5th January. Had hospital bag packed over xmas in case it all started to happen and it did on NY Eve, had emergeny Evac on NY Day.

I was told that its not the bean growing that causes the nausea feelings but the placenta and it can still grow and produce hormones even if bean dies .

Having had natural mc and ERPC I would absolutely go for ERPC as its over with quickly and your bleeding subsides after a few days.

Take time to heal and as you've already found there are so many of us out there who have gone through the same, its just a cruel sad world sometimes x

[SuziDee]

Hi Everyone

again thanks so much, I am one of those that finds it hard to do nothing but know I should give myself some decent rest! I am going in for a confirmation scan on Friday so hopefully things will seem clearer then. Thanks again for sharing all your stories and advice, noone in real life seems to talk about these things!

Also I am getting really wound up by the "it wasn't meant to be" "at least you can get pregnant" silver lining speeches I am getting from family and friends YES I KNOW but it doesn't make it any easier.....

On top of it all I just feel so fat and bloated, again hopefully that will calm down once things are settled, totally shallow I know... I wouldn't care if I was still pregnant!

[MadMarg]

Suzi - I had a missed miscarriage. My baby wasn't viable from the point of implantation, so around week 5. I only found out at my 12 week scan, and miscarried the following week. So all in all it took my body 8 weeks to actually miscarry naturally.

Ignore all those 'speeches' Suzi. Feel as upset/angry/furious as you need to be. At this stage of the process the silver lining can rot in hell. Tell them that YOU are not ready to be pragmatic, and at the moment life sucks and that you are pissed off, and quite frankly, you are allowed to be!!!!

[SuziDee]

Madmarg

thankyou so much you said it better than I could!

[MadMarg]

Suzi - glad I could help.

The friend who helped me deal with it the most was one who was angry FOR me, and furious with the hospital for making it worse. Anger can be very cathartic. Crying I was able to do quite well on my own, thank you very much!

[Daynee]

Hey Suzi - I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I must say that I'm surprised you didn't know anything until 9 weeks. With all 3 of my pregnancies and miscarriages, I had my first scan at 6 weeks. Next time, I suggest getting one earlier so you'll know sooner and perhaps can get a d & c. I would get one if mine took a long time but with all 3 mc, it happened naturally - fairly quickly> the 1st few times, I didn't know until 6 week scan and baby grew to 4.5 and 5 weeks. I started bleeding a few days later, so it took a few weeks after the baby (or the yolk sac) actually stopped growing.

Anyway, I wish you the best. Eat, drink, and go shopping...

[HairyToe]

SuziDee so sorry that you're having this experience. I had a mmc back in June. I went along for a 'routine' 12 wk scan to find the baby had died at 7 weeks. I was so confused as I'd felt so pregnant - the first thing I said to the sonographer was "but I've been so ill". I felt like a fraud, almost like I must have been making up all my symptoms. Two days after the scan I remember bursting into tears in the park because my boobs were so sore, and for what? I was angry at my body for 'fooling' me.

My body showed no signs of losing the baby on its own so I had and ERPC a week later. Obviously going in for the procedure was scary and I was very emotional but in the circustances I had a very positive experience (I posted about it on this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=miscarriage&threadid=640562-Hospital-experiences#13158858). There was little or no pain and I felt very relieved afterwards that I could move on.

Obviously it took a while to deal with from an emotional point of view. Physically though I appeared to recover pretty quickly although I was convinced my cycle was a bit screwy for a while, and was paranoid I wouldn't be able to conceive. Luckily I was wrong and almost exactly 3 months after the ERPC I conceived the baby I am now carrying (am 18 weeks).

I know you must be feeling awful at the moment but give yourself time. And talk about it as much as you want. I found coming on here and sharing experiences really helpful. So may people were so kind and took time to read and answer my ramblings afterwards (I remember one memorable thread where I was convinced I'd caused the mc myself by having a bubble bath).

Take care and lots of luck for the future.

[LKM1]

I have the same. I went f or an early scan at 11+4. I had slight brown spotting. I didn't expect it to have died at 7 weeks.My body hasn't caught up. I too felt very pregnant. My boobs still sore, although my gagging stopped a few days ago, now I think of it, I have started losing hair again, and I am spotty on my chest which I used to get at the time of the month. Today I should be 12 weeks, but I am at home waiting to naturally miscarry. I called the hospital yesterday begging them to help get it out of me. I don't want to wait. My life is on hold, I don't feel I can go out incase it starts to happen, I don't feel able to go to work. However I am lucky I can do my job from home so have had that to keep me partially busy. My poor husband has no idea what I am going through. I think he sort of expected me to be normal again after a day. But actually every day feels harder with it still being in me. I woke this morning and sobbed that I had no cramping. WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER. We wanted a baby so badly, tried for years, but now I know it has gone, I just want it out so I can be 'normal' again. Luckily (rather unluckily) I have some slightly heavier bleeding now. So perhaps it will happen in the next day or so. Good luck to you all going through this. I feel utterly sick that myself and so many other people are going through something so traumatic.

[TurquoiseDress]

Hi OP

So sorry to hear this has happened to you, it's shit isn't it?

I had a missed miscarriage last summer at 13 weeks- started bleeding on the day of my dating scan. No signs whatsoever that anything had gone wrong prior to that.

From the scan, it looked like the baby died around 8.5 weeks- so my body showed no signs for a very long time

Went down the medical management route in the end, found it very long winded but it was the right thing for me and meant that I could stay at home and just get in the bath when it all got horrible.

Good luck with whatever option you go for, it's really such a personal decision. Look after yourself and hopefully you can start TTC again soon.

Starting TTC within a month of the MMC helped get me through it and keep going. Unfortunately, 7 months later and still waiting to be pregnant again

[TurquoiseDress]

Re early scans, I never had an early scan in my first pregnancy (DC almost 3) and when I was pregnant last Spring I was already almost 7 weeks when I found out.

So I just sat back and waited for my dating scan, which took ages to get a date for and I was 13 + 1- the day I started bleeding

Next time (if there is one!) I am going to be requesting a scan from the moment I get a BFP!

[Bdunta123]

LLM1 I feel your pain. Had a private early scan at 11 weeks baby measured 6. Now waiting for phone call from early pregnancy unit to book a scan to see what's going on. Went to a&e to explain what happened so it sped up referral. Hated the idea of waiting 4 days before anything was done. But since seeing that screen with no baby just a sac and featal pole I know it's not right. Everyone asking, but dates can't be wrong. Took a positive pregnancy test 7 weeks ago. I've had normal symptoms and no bleeding. But since finding out sat, don't know whether it's in my head but I feel like my symptoms are going. Less bloated, boobs not as sore, I'm the opposite of tired (can't sleep for more than 2 hours). No pain, just knots in my stomach and rib pain (which I thought was from growing baby before).

It is the waiting that is horrible. How am I meant to work this week when I'm just waiting a whole week for a scan to confirm that the baby I was so excited about having is still inside me but not alive. Or deal with th fear that at any moment I could start cramping or bleeding. Im a PE teacher with such a full on job working with rude teenagers. I'm so scared of breaking down in front of them and losing all respect. I'm so scared of admitting this to the handful of colleagues I told.

I want the surgery, I couldn't cope with a home miscarriage. I can cope with the miscarriage in itself, it's sad but it happens and so common blah blah blah. But what I cannot deal with is that it's been inside me for 5 weeks and it's still in there. I want it out, I want to go away with my husband for a night, drink loads of wine, cry and then just move on. This limbo is far more torturous.

Hearing your stories help. I know I'm not alone. There's nothing else to do other than research, watch tv or read a book right now. Want this hell to be over.

[LKM1]

BDunta123, I hope you are getting on ok. It's been 9 weeks since my miscarriage after 5 days of waiting to start bleeding it finally started. It was unassisted, but I was given no choice, I would have opted for d and c. The miscarriage was horrendous, as expected, I bled heavily for 3 hours and the cramps were breath taking. But as soon as the bleeding stopped the pain stopped, amazing really. I went for a scan afterwards to check things out, I had a tiny amount of 'retained product' but they didn't want to put me through a d and c. I just needed to keep my eye on myself for infection. I drank my first beer and ate rare steak and tried to be ok. I went back to work the next day after having a week off waiting to miscarry, it was so hard, there was so much to look forward to and now nothing. My computer calendar reminded me that it was the date for my 12 week scan I would have been 12+3, and of the future blood appointment or the heartbeat appointment grr. I was bloated, normally a slim girl I looked fat, my boobs still hurt, it took a few days for my hips and boobs to stop hurting, the bloat took a month to go down. I had to have several blood tests for hcg as I was still showing a pregnant 7 weeks later. Because of the retained product it slowed down the hormone drop. Luckily now I am 'normal' I had a period and we can try again. Hopefully this time it won't take 3 years. I'm 32, and very aware of this!! I feel much better than I did, but I still cry when I remember how hard it all was. And that I should have been 20 weeks last week, and that I'm at the age everyone is pregnant, mostly with their second babies, it is so hard to see even though I'm happy for them, I'm so uncontrollably jealous!
And does anyone else get frustrated when people who don't know the situation ask if you plan to have children, and we aren't getting any younger etc.... it makes me so angry and a bit panicked!! Anyway, I hope you are all ok, and that the next pregnancy is a sticky one. Dont bottle a thing and cry if you need to, it's a long road and sadly not a quick fix, the smallest thing might set you off, but it's all part of the healing.x

[Sweetyboo]

I been thru it 3 times & it was diff everytime. 1st & 2nd time i had bad experience like NO1 cared i was in hospital so all day i was in pain & they send me home without checking if i passed everything so for a month there was clots coming & i had period. After a month & a half bleeding went light & still every month i got period i got clots coming doc said its notmal weird. 3rd time i was in home & i was 8weeks but for like 3 hours big clots was coming with gush of blood i had to go emergency in hospitalst 12 but till 5 no1 saw me but bleeding stop so i came home. That time bleeding stoped after 2-3 weeks but then i went scan after a month & they said there is still some pieces in they gave me a tab & i had period for 2 days with clot then 2 weeks later again scan they said not clear so in jan i had to go for my D&C since ive been ok period gone normal after 2 months & now im again 5week pregnant & very scared happy & paranoid . Good luck to me & every1

[Sweetyboo]

UPDATES LADIES
IM only 6weeks pg. SUPER worried & paranoid. Heart beating so fast since i find out that got AN EARLY SCAN tom dont like scan as 3 times had bad exp with them. Twice at my 12-13 week scan & last pg my 10week scan no good news so now im NOT looking forward to it tom

[Shayshay12]

Hi I am going through something similar to you all on the 15/03/17 was my LMP I was suppose to have my period on the 17/04/17 it didn't come so 19/04/17 I had a very faint positive test and I tested again on the 28/04/17 which said I was pregnant and conceived about 2-3weeks ago, on the 3/05/17 I started bleeding with clots went to the A&E still had a positive pregnancy test but was told to wait for ultrasound which is on 9/05/17 came home bleeding slowed right down then on the 04/05/17 I started cramping and bleeding got heavier again NO CLOTTING went back to the A&E doctor checked me and said he ain't worried it sounds like a 'threatening miscarriage' so I should go home rest and wait for scan. Does it sound like to any of you that I lost the baby or could I still be pregnant? I'm still tired can sleep all day, my boobs are still a lil sore, I am feeling bloated.

[Bdunta123]

Hey all. I posted last week when I found out about MMC. So I finally miscarried this week. Thought I'd share my experience as it's good to reflect but also found reading all these personal stories so reassuring. Hopefully this will give other people some guidance on what they might expect etc.

So private scan on 29/4 should have been 10w6d. Scan measure 6w6d. Knew dates couldn't be wrong as had positive test on 10/3. I was devestated. Had all the pregnancy symptoms. I got referred to early pregnancy unit for a scan but they made me wait 9 days to the following Monday 8/5 as they wanted to compare growth in case dates were wrong.

It was the longest week of my life. Real emotional ups and downs. I decided not to go to work tues-fri, as a PE teacher didn't want to get caught in a lesson on a field with no toilet facilities nearby. It filled me with dread. There was also an element of shame as a handful of people new and I wasn't ready to tell anyone the sad news. The whole time I was at home I was obsessing over what an MMC was, what will happen in an MC, whether my dates could be wrong, what my options were. I have to say the waiting around was worse than the actual MC for me. I wanted to have the d&c as quickly as possible as I was petrified of miscarrying naturally at home.

I had cramps off and on the week building up and all my pregnancy symptoms disappeared four days after the first scan and the sad news. Interesting how body catches up once brain knows. The next bit has a bit more of the gorey details (I found this helpful to read) but if you are squirmish, skip it!!!

My first MC symptoms started a day before the scan when I was exactly 12weeks. Started with brown discharge and more griping cramps. Couple of hours later proper red scarlet blood when I wiped. I never really got a heavy flow like others described. Not sure if this is because the baby had died 5/6 weeks earlier so had broken down or whatever? Who knows. Lots came out when i sat in the toilet but not much actually into the sanitary towel.

The next morning I rang the EPU as I was unsure whether they'd still want to scan because of bleeding. They were lovely and said they still did and wanted to know I was ok etc. The Dr and Nurses were so nice. She confirmed it was an Mmc, that the sack and fetal pole we had seen in scan (I took a copy with me) were just big dark blobs now because they had begun to break down etc. She showed me my uterus and where the pregnancy tissue was and also checked my ovaries etc and said everything looks healthy and normal. She told me to do expectant management as it was very low down and said it should all come out within a couple of days or so. She signed me off work for another 5 days and told me not to rush back and to take this time to get body and mind back. She said that when the sac/embryo comes out that I will get sharp pains and likely to feel a 'gushing' sensation. She also said that we could try again as soon as I wanted which was nice to know as so many people say you should wait a while. Good to know that medically there is no reason to wait if you don't want to.

Anyway, went home prepared for the worst. The whole thing lasted only 4 days. Sunday- Tuesday I had average bleeding, clots and gross stringy tissue mixed with blood, but really bad low ab pains, some just like crappy period pain then other times waves of contractions that took my breath away. All I could do was take paracetamol, have a hot water bottle constantly, breath deeply, curl up and watch tv, eat chocolate and even some wine when I was up to it. On the Tuesday night the cramps changed. It was more like what I can only describe as 'pressure' deep in my uterus really low down. Constant - like super long contractions that lasted several minutes would ease off and then be back moments later. Almost like having a toddler sitting on your lap when you have period pain and a full bladder. Felt like it was going to pop! Or like waistband was cutting into my bladder. It felt hard and bloated. But I had no bleeding at this point so didn't know whether this was the big build up or just my uterus being angry! I went to bed dosed up on meds and my water bottle and hoped for the best. I woke up at 5am, sensing I'd started bleeding again. Went to the loo and suddenly without any pain, something definitely fell/gushed out. I chose not to look, but I knew it was the 'big' but I'd been waiting for. About 50p size. And instantly I felt a real sense of relief once it had happened. I got cramps and some bleeding for about 3 hours after. This was this morning and I have just experience my first afternoon of no bleeding or cramps (at all!!!) and enjoyed an evening out with the Hubbie. I feel sooo much better, as light as a feather, that this nightmare has finallly come to an end. I've had no bleeding and just occasional twinges in uterus. But taken no pain relief since 6am this morning.

I know everyone is different. From my experience of reading these experiences from people, no two stories are the same. But reach out to people. You are not alone. People don't talk about miscarriage enough. I had no idea that you could MMC. We (women) have to put our minds and bodies through the most stressful experience of making and growing a baby. It's not as straight forward for everyone. Friends and family who haven't been through this will try and say the right thing. But they will never know how you are feeling. We can only learn by others. To anyone who's just found out they have MMC my heart goes out to you. All I can say is every day that passes will get that slightly bit easier. If anyone every wants to chat feel free to message me xxxx all the best for your baby making futures xxx