I have had 3 m/cs - in Dec 2001, Sept this year and Nov this year. I went to the Lister, Stevenage, each time as I was in pain, bleeding heavily and passing clots.
The 1st time I sat in A & E - distraught - for 4 hours. After an initial assessment by the nurse, I was asked to move from the main waiting area to a seat in front of the treatment cubicles ..... to this day I do not know why, as when I was finally seen hours later, I was moved up to the gynae ward, where I was kept in overnight due to very heavy bleeding. The thing was, sat in amongst the treatment area I could see all the goriness of what was happening to other people ..... this included a teenager 18 or 19 completely off his head and vomiting everywhere, who was being treated with the utmost compassion and tenderness by a nurse who never left his side (I guess in case he choked) .... but it was a bitter irony that I sat there in front of the noise and smell of something which was almost certainly self-inflicted, witnessing sympathy, while I felt helpless, uninformed and ignored as I was losing my baby. In hindsight this was completely inappropriate and of course I should have moved - what was the point of me sitting there, but you do what medics tell you to don't you and I wasn't thinking straight.
So .... on that occasion, once I got to gynae I was examined, and treated, with respect, but there seems to be a serious gap if you arrive at the wrong time when you are left to flounder in great distress for hours on end. There would have been, you'd imagine, somewhere I could wait in private, given what was happening.
2nd time I was examined but had to come back the following day for a scan even though I had arrived in the morning. It would seem that the EPU scanning has a very small daily window even though it is in the maternity unit and therefore not reliant upon using the machines in the radiology dept. I still don't understand why, when you're desperate to know one way or another, you could not be seen in the general radiology dept .... in some respects this would be preferable as in the maternity unit there are, not surprisingly, a large no. of pregnant women wandering about and even in the EPU, you wait with women who are obviously there for happier reasons (going by their demeanour and smiles). I don't accept that a trained radiologist can't confirm what women in my position need to know as soon as possible. I'm guessing that maybe they are so strict about being scanned in the EPU in case further medical treatment is required and you'd therefore be in the right place to arrange this ..... but jeez, a phone call would be all it'd take if that was the case surely ?
I was examined the 2nd time by a very brusque, (probably) recently qualified (she seemed very young) female doctor who took no time to explain what she was doing, and simply said "sorry, you seem to have miscarried", followed by "do you want a leaflet ?". She seemed embarrassed by it all.
Oh - and for some reason, the 2nd time, they insisted on putting one of those tap thingys (can't remember the proper name) into a vein "in case I needed any fluid later" ?!? ..... before I'd been seen by gynae, and which, when it was taken out after, bled very profusely (literally dripping) all over my top and coat, not to mention their floor. Like I hadn't seen enough blood.
In contrast, just 11 weeks later, my 3rd experience was very different and the "best" if such an adjective can be applied to such a dreadful occasion. I was taken up to Gynae almost immediately and examined minutes later. No stupid tap thing. My heart sank when I saw I was going to be seeing a male doctor but in fairness he was really sympathetic. He took a much fuller (than before) history before examining me, and explained exactly what he was going to do - speculum, swabs, cervix open or closed and so on. When I sobbed and sobbed during all this he told me I had nothing to apologise for (previous doctor ignored me) and when he'd finished said "I am very sorry but I'm afraid it does appear that you have had a miscarriage" and explained that he'd found not only clots but tissue as well. I asked if I could see which he was happy to do and I had actually passed the sac which I recognised from the time before. He then said that this would be taken to the lab to double check there was nothing "missing" - as well as the scan obviously - and he had already booked me a scan "just in case" before examining me so I was able to be seen the same day.
The other thing which happened - which was in complete contrast to before - was that he bought me forms asking for my permission for the "products of miscarriage" to be examined and which also stated that they would be "respectfully" cremated with a chaplain in attendance. This last bit I am rather sceptical about - it was a 7 week m/c, and nor I am the slightest bit religious - but - I really did appreciate the respect that was being shown to my situation and the recognition that this was not my appendix but a wanted baby. This same doctor didn't scurry off as quickly as possible either, but made a point of asking me if I had any further questions. In all, I couldn't fault him.
My post m/c experience with my GP has also been good. I know you are asking about hospitals, but I was pleasantly surprised at how sympathetic and supportive he was when I asked to be referred (I know there's often NO discernible reason but I want to rule everything out and feel I've done everything possible). I fully expected to be sent off with a flea in my ear given I am 44 and do have 2 children already.
IME, it does seem that your treatment is luck of the draw and depends on how busy the hospital is. The point is though, what needs to be recognised is that a miscarrying woman is a grieving woman and should be treated accordingly by being given privacy if at all possible (this is also for practical reasons if you are bleeding very heavily). Where do you draw the line regarding grief ? ..... I'm sure that people who'd just lost someone close to them, or who are in the process of doing so, wouldn't usually be expected to wait "in public" as it were, amongst other people laughing and joking etc.