Probable miscarriage and going on holiday....

[Boysclothes]

Got a BFP at around 14 dpo (could be less) and then an HCG level at perhaps 16 dpo of 43. 52 hours later it was 81, within realms of normal possibly but overall not looking great. Have been having rusty discharge with occasional bits of brown mucus. Have been warned to probably expect a miscarriage and have another hcg check in 2 days and a scan on Wednesday. We go on holiday to a remote part of Denmark on Thursday for 8 days!

So my qs are..... If I haven't passed the pregnancy by Thursday, would you go on hols in my position? We will have a car, childcare and a native speaker on hand in case a natural miscarriage starts to go wrong. But I really don't want to be mis carrying on holiday. Obviously as things become more clear then I can make a better decision, but really just wanting your opinion and experiences? Thanks xx

[thesmallbear]

I personally wouldn't go on holiday. A miscarriage is much harder than you may think, both physically as well as emotionally (at least it was for me anyway).

Also, sometimes the miscarriage doesn't happen naturally (i.e. no growth & baby died) but the pregnancy tissue stays inside you and doesn't come away naturally. In these cases the miscarriage needs to be brought on by medical (tablets given as pessaries) or surgical management and I'd feel more comfortable in a UK hospital for that.

[thesmallbear]

I should add that part of the reason we're not trying again yet (miscarriage in June) is because I have a holiday to Spain booked for September and don't want to risk the same thing happening again whilst I'm on holiday.

[Boysclothes]

Thanks small. Wishing you the best lef luck for when you do start trying.

Bit of red bleeding so perhaps it's starting. I was still holding out a tiny bit of hope....

[Catlover2014]

Sorry to read what you're going through. I would agree with small a mc can be physically and emotionally hard and I felt better being at home. If it's a risk I would say stay at home xxx

[Pinotgrigioplease]

I'd go.

Nothing you will (or won't) do will change anything.

If it's an early mc you hopefully won't bleed too heavily and you may find that nothing will happen while you are away anyway.

I would go but just take it day by day and allow yourself long lies and afternoon naps if needed... Or possible, I noticed you mentioned childcare.

I would have loved this opportunity as it would have allowed me to avoid overly concerned family members and questions raised by possible time off work.

Ultimately though it depends on how you feel and what you would prefer.

The remote part would be the only part that would concern me.

Fingers crossed for you xx

[Mrsm14]

I wanted to reply as I have just been through this myself. Unfortunately I started to bleed at the airport and so just got on the plan in confusion and shock really. On arriving in Croatia I was in a lot of pain and had to go to hospital. They booked me in immediately for an erpc. The treatment I received was very efficient and we had a lovely apartment to relax in but I knew I had to come home 4 days into our 2 weeks, as the unfamiliar surroundings made it worse for me - I wanted my own bed, comfort foods and family. It was my first pregnancy and the shock of having to go through surgery prob made it worse, so not suggesting at all that this would be your experience. But I really did feel better emotionally once I got home. So sorry you are going through this and hope you have all the support you need, wherever you are.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

I would go if in your situation. You had a native speaker with you and so if you need medical help it should be a problem. As long as you feel you are capable to continue emotionally of course.

I have had two miscarriages. The first at 7 weeks and it doesn't feel anything but a period. Bring lots of sanitary towels with you as I'm not sure tampons are ok in this situation. My second was at end of 12 weeks and the bleed was very very heavy and I needed to go to A&E for a ERPC. There isn't a much physical pain either, but a body can't just keep bleeding so the doctors stopped it with the operation.

But both times it's the emotional side that is tough. I chose to continue back at work the next day after the ERPC because I don't want to be at home doing nothing. Which is why I think a holiday might be what you need.

Take care.

[thesmallbear]

OneLittleToddleTerror - glad that your miscarriages weren't very painful, but my miscarriage really, really was. OP, I'd advise that if you do go on holiday take lots of the strongest painkiller you can get your hands on to manage the pain (hopefully it won't be as bad for you though).

My miscarriage was medically managed, so I'm not sure if that had any effect on the level of pain I experienced. I have heavy and painful periods and the miscarriage pain was far, far worse. The worst pain I've ever experienced in my life! This was my first pregnancy, so I have never given birth but assume the pain must have been similar to labour pain (def much worse than period).

[Boysclothes]

Thanks guys. HCG today was only 112 ( was 81 two days ago) so the pregnancy is definitely failing. Still just having brownish discharge and getting frustrated now, if bleeding started soon it could all be over by holiday. I suspect though that what hopeful said will happen and the scan will be inconclusive and to come back, so I'll be no further forward.

I'm so sorry to hear about everyone's experiences. Miscarriage just really really sucks. It just feels so deeply SAD, all yr little plans and excitement just stop. And it feels so flat. And it's bloody frustrating because we'd been trying 11 months. Am I going to have to try for another 11 months? Or longer? The age gap is getting bigger all the time, I wanted a two year ago and he's already 2.5. Plus this pregnancy ending could take three months by the time I've ovulating again. I'm a midwife so work is a bit tough, although it does make you realise how many women have had mcs and are there having their healthy babies.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

boys I know how sad you feel. We started trying again when DD was 18mo. Im now 31 weeks and we will have a 3.5 year age gap instead. I'm just glad I'm able to have two because I know others who struggle to have even one.

[Catlover2014]

one happy to hear your story. I would try to say do not lose hope boys and do enjoy your DC. You will get there with #2!!!

We've been ttc for five years (no DC yet) and after finally finding successful fertility treatment I have mc'd twice. Heartbreakingly tough at times!! X

[impatienceisavirtue]

I had an Mva this may after finding out pregnancy was 'no longer viable' three weeks earlier. They wouldn't do anything about it for those three weeks until the sac grew to a certain size because of NICE guidelines, but it was clear baby was gone.

We initially were going to cancel the week away in the middle of all of this with my 3dcs but decided not to. We changed where we were going to to somewhere closer by but went.

I don't regret doing it - but at the time we 'only' had to deal with the emotional side of it as the bleeding didn't start until the week before the Mva, so the week after holiday.

If you feel up to it, I'd go.

[impatienceisavirtue]

Sorry post too soon - sorry for all of your losses

[Boysclothes]

Hi all, just thought I'd update thread in case anyone searches any of the terms.

Scan today and an empty uterus with a lining of 6mm, so looks like everything is over. I'm glad but also felt a bit of a dick cos they were like "you definitely did get a positive preg test?" as it all looked so normal. Luckily I was able to direct them to my HCG results. They've done another blood test today which hopefully should show levels decreasing. I'm also off to GP to get a note so I can claim the cost of holiday back on insurance and we're off to Devon for the week instead x