Pregnancy of unknown location

[MissingPresumedAlive]

Went for a six week scan this morning hoping to see our twins after IVF, nothing visible that looked like a sac / heart beat / baby so had bhgc blood test need to go back on Saturday for it to be repeated to see if it's ectopic or molar.

This was our last chance as we have spent every penny we had and more on having the family that we dreamed about. Do I just accept that it's over and stop the progesterone. I am still testing positive how can this have happened after so many hurdles to get two perfect blastocysts we really thought it might happen for us.

When will the miscarriage happen and how bad will it be?

[FizzyFeet]

I am so, so sorry OP. I know a little of what you are going through - this time last year I had a pregnancy of unknown location. Sadly it turned out to be ectopic, and we've since had 3 rounds of unsuccessful ivf.

Personally I wouldn't stop the progesterone yet. 6 weeks is early still, and all might not be lost yet. I would wait until you get Saturday's results through. The limbo is awful but if you can manage a few more days I would.

Have your clinic told you what to look out for re ectopic? If not, have a look at the ectopic pregnancy trust website, and if you have even a suspicion that you have symptoms, go to A & E straight away. The site will also tell you what you can expect re treatment - there are several options.

Good luck

[barkingtreefrog]

So sorry missing, I'm in a similar situation with the scan. bfp and doubled hcg appeared to show that IUI had worked for us, but scan today showed an empty sac and they said it was a possibility it was ectopic. My hcg levels today were 700. They said there was no hope and to stop taking the progesterone. I was advised to watch out for localised cramping on one side, and to call the emergency number if I was at all concerned. I had a mc last September and that time I started bleeding soon after the scan which showed no heartbeat. I guess it's different for everyone and different each time so it's difficult to predict if you will bleed, when, and for how long. I hope you are able to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Don't stop taking the progesterone unless they tell you to. You could always call and ask in the morning?

[barkingtreefrog]

missing did you get an update today? Thinking of you .

[MissingPresumedAlive]

Definitely a miscarriage, I feel broken inside. I don't know how I can get through this.

[MissingPresumedAlive]

What I should have said Barking is thank you for thinking of me and that I am sorry you're suffering too.

[barkingtreefrog]

I'm so sorry missing, it's just so unfair. I've got no advice on how to cope as I'm not doing very well myself, but I would say that how I cope each day is different. Sometimes I want to talk about it (I'm very open about it, I want people to know as it's so often hidden away as a horrible secret, and also means that I can abruptly leave conversations that are difficult and people understand why). Sometimes I want to hide away, sometimes I want the company of supportive friends, sometimes just me and DH (like today).

Thinking of you .

[barkingtreefrog]

Does your clinic offer counselling? Mine does and I'm lucky to have got an appointment on Wednesday.

[MissingPresumedAlive]

Thank you that was good advice, I am going back to the lister tomorrow to see the counsellor. I think I need to unburden some of this hurt.

I think I have been too open, everyone knew we were thinking about trying again and had shared every step of the cycle and the subsequent fertilisation and pregnancy. Now I just want to hide, saying it out loud is just to hard.

Will you try again Barking?

[barkingtreefrog]

How was your counselling session missing? I found mine quite useful, but also that it opened the floodgates. I've been tearful all day and I think it was just building up inside me.
To answer your question, yes, we will try again but only after a break for me to get my head together. We've also got to decide whether to pursue private testing in the meantime, or to take the chance that we've just had bad luck.

Hope you found it helpful and you can see a way forwards .

[resipsa]

Oh you two, I'm here too for a hand hold. Missing - impossible as it seems, you will get through it in time.

But it still will get you every now and then. I had 2nd DE IVF miscarriage at the end of May. To get to the loo at work, I now have to walk past a colleague who had treatment at the same clinic at the same time. Saw her 12 week bump today. That was one of those times.

Hope you are both OK.