1st mc after clomid, now 2nd after IUI. Where do I get the strength to try again?

[barkingtreefrog]

TTC #1 for 2.5 long years now, unexplained infertility. Clomid worked once out of 6 attempts, but ended in mc at 7 weeks last September. IUI worked but I've just had my 6w scan and there's nothing in the sac. Just wondered if anyone else had losses after fertility treatment and had a good news story in the end. The IUI was such a rollercoaster of emotions, not to mention all the dildocams, blood tests and injections, that I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with putting myself through it all again, with the fear that even if it worked I could have to face a third loss.

[BlearyeyedLol]

My lovely barking. I came here looking for you. First of all I want to say how sorry I am that this is happening to you.
You asked for positive story. Dh's best friends had 5 rounds of ivf and more mcs than they care to tell us (6 as far as I know). Terrible heartache for over 5 years. One day they gave up. Then she got pg naturally. Just like that. And they now have a lovely dd. I'm sure your time will come but you need to give yourself time to lick your wounds and grieve. I've only had one mc and that was painful enough so I can't imagine how you're feeling.
Look after yourself.
Your old berry friend, lol

[barkingtreefrog]

We have two more IUI and one ivf , then that's it. Can't afford to throw lots of money at it and we just get one IVF round where we live. But going through the fertility cycles another three times seems plenty to cope with. Thanks for the good news story. A friend is currently pg naturally after a failed IVF round. I'm trying to believe that our time will come somehow. I don't know how I'd stay sane after a bfp though, how do make yourself believe it can work and you're not going to lose another one?

[Catlover2014]

Barking, I'm so sorry for your losses. I know how hard this is and I'm sending hugs to you.

Just thought id say hello and introduce myself. I've been TTC for 5 years and have had two mcs this year as a result of successful fertility drug treatment (Letrozole and progesterone). Both me and DH are 34 and I have a "mild ovulatory dysfunction" (not pcos).

Where I live we only get one round of IVF but that's now been taken away from me as the policy won't fund if you've mc'd in the last 3 years.

I don't suppose all this is much help / comfort but I wanted you to know that you're not alone. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat.

Wishing you all the best for the future xxxx

[barkingtreefrog]

cat that's awful. Is the policy to not give IVF because you managed to conceive without it (although not without some help)? If we lived a few miles east we'd get two rounds. The lottery sucks. I haven't asked whether the mc affects anything. I'm assuming as we had a mc with the clomid bfp but still qualified for IUI it won't change anything.
I don't understand the policy of not investigating until 3 mc when fertility treatment is involved though. Surely it's more cost effective to see if there's a treatable issue first rather than potentially do another costly but ultimately unsuccessful round and then fund investigations anyway before trying again? We're just really lucky that we get IUI, if we'd gone straight to our one IVF round and then mc we would be at the end of the road.

[Catlover2014]

Hi ya,

Yeah where we live if you've had any BFP (even if it's with drugs like what we had) you have to wait three years before you can have IVF. I'll be nearly 38 by then so it's not really worth it. We don't get any IUI here and I had to pay for clomid / drugs private as they aren't funded here either.

How are you feeling today? Do you have counselling to help? I feel utterly dreadful at the moment and I'm not really coping. Don't know what to do to feel better!!

XxX

[barkingtreefrog]

I'm so sorry, that's just rubbish.
I had awful nausea today then started bleeding this afternoon. Just hoping the bleeding doesn't go on too long, it seemed to go on forever last time.

I'm lucky that our clinic has a counsellor, and I've got an appointment with her on Wednesday morning. Emotionally I've been better today than yesterday, but that's probably more to do with spending all day in bed preoccupied with severe nausea and not having the energy to think about anything else. How I'll cope when I have to step outside the house and face all the bumps and babies of our friends is another thing entirely.

Can you access any counselling? I tried last time but my GP just said it was normal to be upset and by the time I'd got to the top of the waiting list I'd be OK.... I wasn't OK, and I'm very glad I'll have counselling to help this time.

[Catlover2014]

Sorry to hear you're feeling sick. It's just so cruel :(

Know what you mean about bumps and babies. I find it so hard to deal with other people's blessings but I am trying to not be jealous.

That's so great that the clinic offers that emotional help, I'm sure it will help. That's a rubbish thing for your GP to say. There isn't any help here for counselling either so we're seeing a private one starting from next week. More expense but worth it I think!

Keep in touch and let me know how your next steps go. How old are you and DH? X

[barkingtreefrog]

I'm 35, DH is 33. I think counselling is definitely worth the investment, hope it helps .

[Catlover2014]

Thanks! Good luck for your next try :)

Xxx

[resipsa]

Barking - just a hand to hold during this . I had 2 m/cs in 6 months after donor egg IVF which is seen as the 'golden ticket' in treatment terms. Not so for me but you just have to keep trying...

[barkingtreefrog]

Oh resipsa I'm so sorry. One of our positives as I said before is that we were able to get a bfp on clomid then IUI. I've got three more chances before we run out of options, so if the worst happens again, hopefully it will happen while we still have a chance remaining... Have you had any investigations? I'm not sure whether it's worth going private to see if there's a reason I can't get past 6 weeks before we try again.

[resipsa]

Hi barking. No, no investigations. I have a DD conceived without assistance and despite my treatment being private and eye-wateringly expensive, I think they take the attitude that if you've done it once (DD is 3) recently, you can do it again. I'm contemplating seeing if the NHS can offer any investigations but at 43 expect short shrift.