Second miscarriage this year and out of hospital to the royal baby circus..

(12 Posts)
vladthedisorganised Tue 23-Jul-13 11:44:09

That's about it really. MMC in April this year, this time I had no idea I was pregnant as I was fairly sure I'd had an AF last week.

Went to the walk-in clinic with some heavy bleeding and it turned out I'd lost the second baby. A hard day waiting in A&E to find out whether or not the pregnancy was ectopic, waiting in the early pregnancy unit for a scan surrounded by baby magazines and parenting stuff, and staying in the hospital wondering what on earth would happen next.

And now.. out of hospital and told to rest, switch on the TV to blow-by-blow accounts of the royal birth. It's everywhere - Facebook, newspapers, TV, seems like there's no neutral haven anywhere. I mean, good luck to her and everything, but I'm not really up to having this all in my face today. And then I look like a bitter old stick because I can't put my troubles aside to be happy for someone else.

Not really sure what the point of this post is - how on earth do the rest of you manage, I guess?

Daisybell1 Tue 23-Jul-13 12:01:49

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I'm afraid I don't have anything constructive to say, only that it's shit. We have a special royal baby hand holding thread if you'd like to come and join us. Take care of yourself x

hollyisalovelyname Tue 23-Jul-13 12:08:08

I am sorry to hear you had a miscarriage. It's tough with all the news of the Royal baby. A virtual hug

LUCKYWISA Tue 23-Jul-13 12:08:51

hi vladthedisorganised,

My heart goes to you! Stay strong you are not alone;I am in middle of miscarriage and this is the 4th loss in 2 years ( at 5 weeks, 10 weeks, 12 weeks and 12 weeks). On sunday I woke up to celebrate 12 weeks pregnancy. About 10.30am, my celebration turned into crying when I saw blood while in bathroom. It is hard to explain the pain. Each time I conceive I get hope that it will go to full term. I am at home waiting to finish as I dont like to go to Dr, I do not wat D&C. Stay strong and find a way copping to prevent depression. This website is good bcs you find people to share experience and journey of sorrow, why why why...

Pawprint Tue 23-Jul-13 15:09:38

So sorry for your losses thanks

I had four miscarriages before my ds was born.

I remember those horrible waiting rooms full of happy women with healthy bumps, pregnancy magazines etc

As for the Royal baby, I am sick of it too. If one has had problems having a baby, the last thing one needs is Royal baby fever wherever one looks. Kate is probably one of those lucky souls who have no problems having kids.

With luck, once the Royal baby has been shown to the media, given a name and so on, the world will get bored of it. I doubt it will appear in public much.

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom Tue 23-Jul-13 15:14:33

So sorry for your loss.

You don't have to put it to one side and be happy for her. She's a public figure and not a friend or relative who is going to experience emotions based on your response to her (IYSWIM). She will never know if you are pleased for her or stomp around the house saying "Bloody Kate and her bloody baby" (unless you do know her grin, in which case send a nice card and stay out of the way for a while). Do whatever gets you through at the moment.

And even if Kate did know how you responded, we don't know if she had previous MCs. We do know she had HG. She hasn't had a smooth ride herself and it may be worse than we know. Don't beat yourself up that things are perfect for her.

I think to be honest it's going to be DVDs only for the next week or so.

RaRaZ Tue 23-Jul-13 15:23:29

Hi OP

I'm really sorry for your loss - I had one myself in late May, and I know it's horrific. Two in one year must be a lot to deal with; I wouldn't blame you for hating every pg woman with all your heart right now! Let yourself feel those feelings. Take some time off work and forget about everything else. It's ok to not be able to cope for a while; it's one hell of a thing you've been through. Take some time just for you and DP and only involve anyone else/go back to work when YOU feel ready.

Take care of yourself flowers x

vladthedisorganised Thu 25-Jul-13 09:39:36

Thanks everyone. Had a conversation with the Early Pregnancy Unit this morning which had me in tears - they want me to go back for more blood tests and another scan, but it was the mother of all faffs trying to arrange both.
"When can you come in?"
"I can do first thing in the morning."
"First thing in the morning is not convenient. We won't have anyone in to take the bloods tomorrow, which is a problem."
"OK, when should I come in?"
" Well, the issue is that the doctor needs you to have bloods taken tomorrow."
"OK.. should I have it done elsewhere?"
"No, you must have it done here in the EPU and it must be tomorrow, but we have no-one to actually take the bloods. So if you come in and get the form from us, you could possibly go to the phlebotomy unit but they are very very busy and they'll turn you away because you don't have an appointment."
"So what do you need me to do?"
"Perhaps come in around lunchtime to get the form, and then you can wait for the afternoon when it's less busy, and after the phlebotomy appointments are finished then they might be able to squeeze you in. And if they can't do it then we'll have to see if the ObGyn ward can do it then... And you need a scan, which must be on Monday here at the EPU.."

I just want this to be over with. sad

vladthedisorganised Thu 25-Jul-13 09:40:52

Oh, and for the second week in a row DD is going to have an incredibly boring day sitting in hospitals asking for hours when we can go home.. I wanted to do something nice for her this week and it's all gone wrong again.

DogandBeth Thu 25-Jul-13 11:18:37

oh Vlad I'm so sorry. I had my first MC in 2008 and the EPU I was dealing with were horrid to me then as well and it made an awful experience so much worse and so much more traumatic. I wish I could make it better for you- I can't but I am thinking of you and will be thinking of you tomorrow.
I'm 6 weeks down the line today from my 3rd MC and I've found the endless baby coverage quite hard to bear- so I can only imagine what you must be going through. xx

CamomileHoneyVanilla Thu 25-Jul-13 11:19:26

Crikey vlad - I'm impressed you managed to stay so calm. That is quite possibly the most infuriatingly frustrating dialogue I've ever read. I hope that they manage to get some kind of plan sorted for you.

I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm also going through my second of the year and it is really awful. Just seems exceptionally unfair. Take care of yourself. x

Bakingtins Thu 25-Jul-13 11:44:29

Oh Vlad you don't need that. It's not you that's disorganised!
It makes me so cross. I work in a vets and everyone from a rookie student nurse upwards can take blood from a tiny wriggly kitten that's trying to bite - there is no reason that any vaguely medically trained person (and presumably there are a few of those in a hospital) can't do it.
I had this with my husband trying to get an appointment for blood to be taken, in the end I did it and he dropped off several tubes of blood, to be met with confused expression.
I hope they get their bloody finger out and get you the treatment and investigations you need with the minimum fuss.

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