Lost baby 22 weeks this week, ventriculomegaly ...how to stop milk please?

[Wildcatfin]

Hi all...looking for ideas on how to cope/ stop milk production/ what might happen if I don't milk myself. They gave me a pill on wednesday but it isn't working and the googling I've done on 'helps' contradicts each other. Am in an OK calmer mood the last few hours but the milk is setting me off ... I need a break from crying as does my poor family, we are so raw.

Last Thurs we were getting excited about preparing for the arrival of our longed-for baby girl in a few months, as we'd thought we'd reached the 'safe' zone and I was still passing all the weekly specialist diabetic clinic checks with flying colours (been type 1 since I was a teen). Found out during horriffic 1st preg 4 yrs ago that I have a heart shaped (or this time they think poss 2 separate mini) womb, all makes me a bit 'interesting' in the preg dept. And took 4 years each time to get preg. So am closely monitored.

But my scan showed a problem, and on Friday we were told she had developed this incurable massive brain defect, probably not due to my diabetes, and was unlikely to make it. Basically the holes in her head were so large it meant she had the back half of her brain missing and she was moving less and less daily.

Wednesday (ie 5 days later, 2 days ago) we went into the delivery ward, and knowing there was no happy outcome is the worst thing I have ever had to do. Am thankful the labour/delivery wasn't actually as bad as I expected. Just so so sad....and now scared for p.m. results incase its something that might happen again and thats my last chance.

I'm sure we'll be OK, I have an amazing 5 yr old son and know many don't even have that after losing a baby, but really this milk thing is the straw I don't want now. I haven't slept much since this all started last Thurs but feel I could now if the throbbing would ease.... and think I'll go mad if I can't get some rest and sore boobs seem to be the stupidest thing to set me off :( xxx

[Januarymadness]

I am so sorry. I dont have anything useful to say but I couldnt let you go unanswered.

I am so so sorry for your loss. You are so brave and wonderful. Your ds is as lucky to have you as you are him.

May your daughter RIP xxx

[Wildcatfin]

thanks xxx just scrabbling round the house/ fridge for anything that might help and not coming up with much..don't want to wake DH who's finally sleeping and I am not allowed to drive for another week or so (hormones/ sudden loss affecting my bloodsugars badly), so stuck in isolated farm...

[50shadesofbrown]

I'm so sorry, that's heartbreaking. My milk was always really low if I got hot or thirsty - maybe try drinking less? I had to stop suddenly, unplanned, it took about a week to properly start to go away. Hope you don't get too uncomfortable, go to doctor if it gets painful, hot or red as it's possible to get infected.

[Whatalotofpiffle]

So so sorry for your loss. Definitely try drinking less. No other ideas.

Sending love to you all

[PointlessCow]

So sorry for your loss. Were you given any bereavement leaflets when you left hospital? Perhaps a bereavement midwife would know?

Or La Leche League. There is a little information here

[MrsJohnDeere]

So very sorry. What an awful thing to happen.

If you can bear it, would it worth asking the hospital or OOH doctor is there is anything else they can prescribe to stop the milk?

[Themobstersknife]

I am so sorry to hear what you have been through.
I have no idea if this will help or not, and sorry if this is insensitive, but I had to suddenly stop breastfeeding my 2 week old last year. I wasn't allowed to take anything to stop the milk, so I ended up just expressing a little bit for a day or so to take the edge of the engorgement, and then each day, things got a bit more bearable, and no sign of any milk after about a week. I don't know if things will work the same in your position but hope this might help.
Take care.

[5madthings]

So sorry for your loss, you can tell us about your dd if you feel it will help, what did you name her?

Re the milk, anithistemines can help dry up milk production and binding your breasts tightly, also cols flannels on your breasts to help ease engorgement etc.

[Soupa]

Am so sorry for your loss:(

The drugs that can be effective are very rarely used as they are pretty toxic so even in these sad circumstances medication is rarely used in the UK.

The engorgement is what supresses your milk so if you can use pain killers and ibruprofen whilst wearing a comfortable bra you should quickly be over the worse.

Don't drink less, it will make you feel awful but will have no effect on your supply which is driven by your hormonal changes.

Don't express as this stimulates supply and use gel packs or cold cabbage leaves to bring some degree of comfort.

Sorry again, this should settle quickly.

[nearlyreadytopop]

Wildcatfin, Im so so sorry.
I second the idea of cabbage leaves, washed and chilled in the fridge and then cover each boob with them then an old bra. Have a couple of batchs chilling.

[dontmeanto]

I don't have any other advice but just wanted to say I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[AndBingoWasHisNameOh]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I found sports bras and frozen peas helped ease the pain when the milk was in when I had similar circumstances.

I understand decongestants can help dry milk up.