Talk

Flip

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Bad day....

6 replies

Tw1nkle · 25/03/2013 09:40

Having a bad day.
My baby would have been 1 today. No-on else remembers but me.
My friend is also due today, and I'm having trouble TTC again.
All in all, I'm having a really bad day.

OP posts:

Report

chocoflump · 25/03/2013 09:46

Aww hugs, I know how low you must be feeling. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 12 weeks. That baby would be coming 5 in October!

You never forget, you just learn to cope with it. I lost the child on 12 April. I tend to keep myself busy on that day every year so as not to think about it, however come October let off one of those sky lanterns in memory of our babys birthday.

Life's so unfair at times but it will get easier

Report

Conina · 25/03/2013 10:13

Hi Tw1nkle

I'm so sorry for your bad day. Sorry i know that's not very elegantly put, but I came on here for exactly the same reason. Bad day. I had two mc in the last year. The first - I was pregnant last Easter, so this time of the year is suddenly throwing up loads of feelings, which is exhausting cos I also had a mc at Christmas, on the weekend that was the edd of the first mc (if that makes sense). I've just tried to put that behind me n found myself staring down Easter.

My DP doesn't get it at all. I am so fortunate to have a DS who I adore. He's two. Last week he had a tantrum and my DP was saying how he didn't like babies, and didn't want any more, and although I knew he wasnt as keen as I am, it made me so unhappy to hear. I should be more than halfway through a pregnancy. In fact, I should have a three month old baby.

I have no practical suggestions to offer - but I hope that you can find some way to be kind to yourself when you feel sad. I'm trying to have a quick cry before he comes in the room, but it doesn't really work like that. We were at a friends yesterday and she was pregnant and still smoking, and whilst I know she isn't having 'my' baby, I just feel so sad that I can't manage to keep my babies even when I don't smoke IYSWIM.

Sorry. Not sure this is helpful cos its such a me me me post, but just wanted to say that I too am grieving the anniversaries and no matter how zen and 'my life has taken a different path' you are, everyone has bad days x

Report

NoMoreMarbles · 25/03/2013 10:25

It's my EDD for my first MC next week if I hadn't lost the baby at 14 weeks my DC would be turning 10!

I have had 8 more MCs since then but also have a 7yo DD who is wonderful.

I'm so sorry for your loss I hope the EDD is not too hard and you get your much awaited BFP very soon x

Report

Tw1nkle · 25/03/2013 10:49

Thanks everyone.
I have a DD (4), who I know I'm so lucky to have.
It just seems to be getting harder each month, as DD keeps asking for a baby sister/brother now too.
My sister and SIL were both pregnant at the same time as me, and both thier little ones have just turned one.

OP posts:

Report

Bakingtins · 25/03/2013 19:35

EDDs and anniversaries are always hard to cope with it must be worse if you are expected to celebrate family birthdays and see what you are missing.
Can you do something positive to honor the day and remember your baby?

I have EDD of MC2 coming up, and was so hoping that I'd be 'safely' pregnant by then, but sadly have had another MC, so I now have 3 EDDs and 3 anniversaries to endure every year.
It does get easier. My first MC was in 2009 and I had got to the stage of just feeling a bit wistful on her 'birthday' (which just to add insult to injury is also my birthday) but the more recent MC have brought it all back.
Be kind to yourself, do whatever you need to in order to get through the day.