I think I am miscarrying

(119 Posts)
vix206 Sun 24-Mar-13 13:00:23

Just that really. Started brown spotting yesterday lunch time and have now started full on bleeding, just like a period. I was 6 weeks pregnant with DC2 on this Friday just gone.

I'm devastated and really frightened. Not in any physical pain yet but really worried about what this afternoon will bring.

Any support or advice would be gratefully accepted hmm

marriedinwhiteagain Sun 31-Mar-13 18:05:35

Am sure they are all together. DD's birthday is always a bit bittersweet - not that I let her know.

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 17:56:35

Same age as mine boffin I wonder if they have met smile

BoffinMum Sun 31-Mar-13 17:54:59

I chat to my miscarried child in the car when I am alone. Would have been 12 now.hmm

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 17:54:21

I didn't do it at the time it's rather evolved over time.
I remember being very upset around Xmas ( I mc in October) I just felt so sad he'd never have a Christmas.
I have had two more since btw.
It took ages to conceive after the mc. Don't know why.
I often think maybe it was meant to be do that dd1and 2 could be born.
Just take your time there's no rush to feel better you are allowed to feel sad. We all did.

vix206 Sun 31-Mar-13 17:41:20

Bleeding has basically stopped now, thankfully smile

Because I was only 6/7 weeks pregnant I found it really hard to come up with a name. I thought long and hard about it and couldn't find a unisex one that 'worked'. But I can definitely see how that would help you.

Creameggkr Sun 31-Mar-13 17:31:22

They don't get it do they? In fairness I probably thought it was fairly trivial until it happened to me. Bad but true.
Yes you have indeed lost a child. I named mine Ruben Issac and remember him as such. I was 11 weeks.
I think it helped me to acknowledge that.

BoffinMum Sun 31-Mar-13 17:14:32

Important to keep an eye on the bleeding, if it goes on and on and is really heavy, sometimes something is stuck and you need an op. Also if your cervix is open too long there is a risk of infection (like in the case of that poor woman in Ireland, who died when they would not operate).

vix206 Sun 31-Mar-13 17:03:54

You are very wise! Thank you x

marriedinwhiteagain Sun 31-Mar-13 15:34:51

Moan all you want. You have Mnet. I wish it had been here 16 years ago when there was almost nowhere to turn except places like SANDS and other professional bereavement services sometimes manned by women who had yet to come to terms with their own grief or who had got involved for the right reasons for them but not necessarily for those who needed help.

The OBEM thread highlights both the hierarchy of grief (and having had notable m/c's at 8, 11 and 17 weeks as well as at least three or four at 6-7 weeks that is most misplaced, because actually one's recovery is directly related, IMO, to the professional care and understsanding one receives at the time) and the fact that m/c or the death of a new born baby before or after birth really is the last taboo.

Things have come on a bit in the last 16 years but not nearly enough.

Come on here whenever you like. What you are dealing with is crap of the highest order and it isn't sufficiently recognised in the perfect little society we are all told about. But, all will 99.99% be well in the end.

Hang on in there and don't let the bastards get you down - the majority of them really don't know any better or at best just don't know how to deal with it in today's world. A million miles down the lane you will find you are really not alone at all but I'm sorry it feels like it does right now. Take your little one in your arms and bless his very existence for you are blessed and will be blessed. Of "F" sorrry for getting sloppy.

Welovegrapes Sun 31-Mar-13 14:22:51

Vix I am so sorry they are being rubbish sad I found that people just have no idea what to say. They shy away from commenting for fear of saying the wrong thing, not realising that is very hurtful in itself. I've found only women who have mc before totally understand.

Hugs to you.

vix206 Sun 31-Mar-13 13:53:12

Thank you.

Sorry to always be moaning but I'm so hurt that 2 of my supposed closest friends have just totally ignored the grief I am feeling. They both have been told by DH (on Wednesday) what happened and neither have been in touch until today with 'hi hun have a fab birthday' type messages. I mean, seriously? As if I'm having anything approaching a fab day. I will not be able to forget the fact that my SIL and another very close friend have chosen to ignore the fact that I lost a child. hmm

marriedinwhiteagain Sun 31-Mar-13 13:38:19

Hang in there vix.

I cried my eyes out on my birthday 16 years ago (sixish weeks after losing DS2 at 27 weeks). If anyone had told me on that day, or after an early m/c two/three, weeks later that on my next birthday I would have a pink and screaming five and a half week baby in my arms I would have thought they were stark raving bonkers. She was the only one I got to term - looks at dd, almost 15 wrapped in at least a metre of long blonde hair and still in a ruddy onesie having been yelled at to dress for lunch at least three times

I'm sure all will be well and in due course you will have the family you want but I appreciate from the bottom of my heart how effing difficult it is for some of us to get there. I rationalise it sometimes by the fact that if DS2 hadn't happened I wouldn't have dd and I cannot imagine not having this darling girl in my life. Inasmuch as I wish I hadn't had many mc's and would give all my heart for ds2 to have survived I also cannot imagine a life without the two dc I eventually got.

With love and many hugs. xxxxxxxx

Have a lovely time at the zoo. With love.

vix206 Sun 31-Mar-13 09:37:45

Thanks smile I'm really resenting the fact it's my birthday. I feel better now all the cards have been opened and plan to ignore my bday for the rest if the day. Going to the local little zoo to distract myself!

ncsmummy Sun 31-Mar-13 07:33:35

vix I am glad that the worst of it has passed for you. I found I felt a bit more myself too at that point.
I hope that despite everything you have a good birthday hun flowers x

vix206 Sat 30-Mar-13 21:51:43

Hi escorpion thanks for checking in. I think I'm over the worst now. Bleeding less and no cramping, I've a dull ache in my lower back but that's it. Haven't cried today, got dressed, and went for a walk. So I feel like me again. Still tired and a little dizzy but I'm ok. Thank you x

escorpion Sat 30-Mar-13 20:39:18

vix just checking in. Hopefully you have got through the worst now, you have been very brave. I don´t think I could have dealt with a natural miscarriage. Thinking about you and all the other women this is happening to x

vix206 Sat 30-Mar-13 11:57:00

I'm so sorry to hear that hmm take care. It's really awful isn't it?

GuffSmuggler Sat 30-Mar-13 10:23:54

Hi vix, I posted earlier in your thread and wanted to say how sorry I am to hear it has been bad news. I've also just miscarried and just wanted to say I know it's just all totally crap. Take care of yourself x

vix206 Sat 30-Mar-13 07:17:48

Hi ncsmummy. I feel better today. The clots and pain appear to have stopped as of yesterday lunch time and so far so good. I'm hoping I can leave the house today, as I haven't since Monday.

I feel emotionally stronger too.

I hope you are holding up ok x

ncsmummy Sat 30-Mar-13 06:10:16

Vix, I hope you are doing ok. That quote is lovely. I have ordered myself a necklace too, its quite a simple one but it will mean a lot to me x

Creameggkr Fri 29-Mar-13 10:36:51

Boy not bit confused

Creameggkr Fri 29-Mar-13 10:36:16

Gish that quote is so comforting. My little bit would have been 12 now and I also feel so happy knowing he's still in me a little.
Vix sorry you have had to go through this nobody knows how horrible it feels unless they e been there.
I have five healthy dc so have been incredibly blessed but still think of my mc often.
I also mc over my birthday sad sending you much love x

vix206 Fri 29-Mar-13 10:19:17

Thanks Gin, I saw the sunshine and felt like doing something but my body isn't ready for too much upright stuff at the moment!

GinAndSlimlinePlease Fri 29-Mar-13 09:54:29

Oh Vix, do be gentle with yourself. I bleed for four weeks when miscarrying naturally. You need rest, rest and more rest.

marriedinwhiteagain Fri 29-Mar-13 08:42:54

I hadn't seen that quote before and the two dc I eventually had after three m/c and ds2 who was born at 27 weeks and didn't make it are almost grown now. After 16 years since the last loss I feel more at peace with that time than ever before.

I hope today's a better day vix. I am sorry. thanks

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