Support thread for miscarriage and management of it -

(110 Posts)
dorapeppageorgenoddy Mon 25-Feb-13 11:58:45

Sadly there seems to be a group of us going through a similar experience so I thought a shared thread may help to 'talk' on -

I'm currently hiding from the world in bed, lost all motivation for anything but not sleeping at night, had awful dreams like it was twins and one is still alive.

Had the ERPC on Wednesday evening after a scan in the afternoon, (was meant to be 11 weeks and baby had stopped at about 7 weeks) think that all happened quickly just by coincidence and the fact I hadn't eaten and space on the list etc - but realise everyone story is different -

Anyway I hope we can share and ask questions here, MN had helped me so much in the last 5 days -

Thinking of you all -

dorapeppageorgenoddy Tue 26-Mar-13 22:04:45

Hi everyone - had a letter from the hospital that arrived yesterday, didn't know what it was and hated reading it was a letter saying 'we hope you have recovered from your recent miscarriage, we are pleased to inform you there were no abnormalities from the sample that was tested'

Which made feel worse than I did, wasn't expecting a letter and didn't know a sample was tested - but the letter made me feel, there was nothing wrong - so why then did it happen? Anyway did anyone else have a letter?

I also got my period so a pretty crap week, but the period may explain why I was feeling so down sad

Ickle hope you have a good Easter break and I hope everyone else starts to feel a little brighter soon -

wattingerofdoom Wed 27-Mar-13 15:36:29

Hello to everyone on here. Sorry for all of your losses sad
I lost my baby last week at nearly 8 weeks pregnant. I already have 2 DCs and I know I should feel really lucky but I can't right at this moment in time. I am hoping it gets better soon.
A new low point was crying in the cheese section of Sainsburys earlier. I saw some lovely looking Brie and thought to myself "What a shame I can't have any." Then I remembered that I can and started sobbing blush

Shellywelly1973 Wed 27-Mar-13 19:36:52

Its been a while since i posted. Its 4 weeks today since i had the erpc. I went for my 12 week scan, the Sat before, to be told baby had died 4 weeks before. It was a terrible shock & i literally fell to bits.

Its been a long 4 weeks.

The support i got from MN & the MC Association was brilliant. My family were a disgrace. Dp was good for a couple weeks but then when i felt down he told me i needed to 'get it together&i should go to the doctor as i seem depressed'. He thinks i need to get on with things, hes right i do but i can't.

I admit i havn't coped well. I should be 16 weeks now. I should have a bump. I should have heard her heart beat this week. I should be feeling her move...I was going to book a private gender scan...

Im stuck back in the last week of Feb. I remember each day so wed is erpc day. Sat is scan day. Mon is day i called the EPU. Tue is the day i went for the second scan...every week. I wish i could go back 22nd Feb. I was so happy.

Everything is different now. I cant cope with my dc. I've not seen any of my family. Im totally disappointed in dp& questioning why im even with him.

Im dreading Easter. Dp has 5 days off. 2of the dc are off for nearly 3 weeks. One of them has 4 weeks off school!!

Hopefully time will help... Nothing else has...

icklemssunshine1 Thu 28-Mar-13 20:48:36

hey dora, haven't received a letter but I did sign a consent to say they could test the tissue. Know having AF is saddening but on the positive at least your body is back to normal. Mine still hasn't appeared & I'm fed up of waiting. I have PCO & worried that caused MC & reason why AF still hasn't returned. Getting hard to see my friend with her bump as she's due 10 days after my EDD. Thought time would heal but its getting harder. Going away next week so hopefully the fresh Peak District air will do me good.

Wattinger, so sorry for your loss. Keep posting. I find MN keeps me sane. I've also started knitting & doing something has given me some balance!

Shelly, sorry to hear you're still feeling down. Maybe the time with your family will be just what you need?

Have a good break all & at least we've got chocolate to cheer ourselves up!

meow57 Wed 03-Apr-13 13:03:27

Hi everyone, so pleased to discover these threads, so horrible so many people are having similar experiences to me but also a comfort.

I have now had two miscarriages and an ERPC last Thursday. I feel so sad. You know that PMT when you just want to cry and can't stop?

My friends and family are being great, despite most of them living miles away (I recently moved). I wish more of them were closer as I need a lot of hugs right now!

I'm back at work half days from today, I could not decide what to do but I didn't just want to stay in bed crying so doing half a days work (luckily I work from home) did get me out of bed and dressed.

I get the feeling that when I am physically sick support is there is buckets but I feel under a lot of pressure to get back to normal.

I feel so many sad thoughts but I know things could be worse. I was told after the ERPC (although I was coming round so I think this is what they said) that it wasn't a molar pregnancy but I guess I am just waiting for a letter now, any idea how long they take?

Miscarriage sucks and it's not even sunny outside!

CupcakeFanatic Wed 03-Apr-13 14:11:55

It's just over 2 weeks since I had ERPOC. My bleeding afterwards lasted less than an ordinary period. Being exhausted was my main side effect, I'm still exhausted even now.

I get sudden onset crying too, I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I really want to be pregnant again ASAP with a healthy bean that sticks. After having a beautiful stillborn baby girl, then a chemical pregnancy, then a recent ERPOC the desire to be holding healthy babies of my own in my arms is so strong. I know I have put put myself through all the fear if I'm ever going to reach that achievement.

dorapeppageorgenoddy Sun 07-Apr-13 15:12:19

Cupcake so sorry to read your story, have you seen a doctor/consultant about your losses?

We have decided not to TTC for at least a year and to be honest I feel so sad all the time that I need that to pass before even thinking about another baby.

The sadness has been sitting with me for weeks now and I can't seem to shake it, just feel joyless and empty -

Hope everyone else is ok smile

Bakingtins Sun 07-Apr-13 18:34:04

Hi all. Sorry to see newbies joining but hope you find it helpful to be here. I'm finding it hard at the moment, should have been having my scan last week and instead had AF after MC. Next week is EDD for the baby I lost in September, 2 weeks later anniversary of MC1. I have arms like a pincushion from RMC blood tests and another 2 sessions this week. I'm not feeling hopeful at the moment that they'll find anything fixable. I just feel very conscious of how long we've been trying with nothing but sadness to show for it, and I'm surrounded by people that have got pregnant and had their babies in that time without an apparent care in the world. I post on the posifrickingtivity thread over on the conception board (for TTC after MC) but even on there I just see loads of people getting their BFP after a cycle or two and I'm still there about 6 threads later. Of course I want it to work out for them after they've all been through the sadness too, but my posifrickingtivity is trickling away with every person that 'jumps the queue'. I 'm actually feeling like I'd be so much happier if I just gave up on the whole thing, but having committed time and money to investigations I feel obliged to see it through and to have another go at TTC. Sorry for the moan.

MrsArmitageQOTR Sun 05-May-13 07:48:50

Hi. I started miscarrying earlier this week at 6-7wks. I posted elsewhere yesterday and kind people helped me from feel less lonely. I somehow didnt see all the messages like this with people of similar experiences. I've been reading since 4 this morning and its both sad and comforting. I wish i had anything useful to say to help people, except getting short term help to sleep from your GP might really help. Sleep deprivation makes everything worse. I'm really sorry some of you have had this happen several times.

I was totally unprepared that a mc this early could feel like early labour or that I'd see little sac with what would have my baby. I got some Diazepam to calm me and help me sleep. Last night i slept well for the first time in a few days and physically feel much better but i can't stop my mind racing. I keep reading others stories to stop my own thoughts crowding in. And i feel the only way I can cope is to take a tablet and be a bit fuzzy headed again. But in 2 days i need to cope with normal life again.

Oh, perfect timing. My DS arrived earlier while i was typing the above with his "talking tummy button" to say good morning. Cute. And then made me laugh more by elbowing me away for kissing him too much. Maybe I'll go have a play and try focusing on the positive.

daisydelilah Sun 05-May-13 09:50:46

I'm so sorry for everyone's losses, and I hope playing with your DS has made you feel a bit brighter this morning, salexa.

I don't know if this is the place to ask, but my beloved sil has just lost her baby at 12 weeks and is in the waiting period before she can go back in for her ERPC and I was wondering if anyone who has been through it has any advice about what I can say that might help her at this horrible time - or even what I should avoid saying? Was there anything anyone said that helped you? I am going to tell her to give herself as long as she needs to grieve, and maybe suggest the engraved stone idea, and also suggest that she, my DB and their DD try to go away together for a few days. But any other thoughts would be appreciated.

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