Ectopic pregnancy support thread

(785 Posts)
tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 18-Mar-12 18:15:29

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock hmm)

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC sad.

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have wine, brew and thanks

InanimateCarbonRod Wed 23-Jul-14 14:23:44

Thanks Bees. No reason given. Had no idea I'd need one tube removed due to ectopic but to have two one after the other! Surgeon said its actually quite common.

Beesandbutterflies Wed 23-Jul-14 08:20:27

Oh my goodness inanimate I'm sorry for your loss. Do you have any risk factors for it? How old is dd?

Tucking when do you find out if the second injection worked? What are your options now? I really hope it's worked for you. Spotting started today for me, I'm hoping that's a good sign. I think my breastfeeding journey has come to an end hmm my toddler seems okay without, at 9 months it was a totally different story and I really hope you can get back to it
Take care x

InanimateCarbonRod Wed 23-Jul-14 00:38:03

Hi ladies. I'd like to join you all. I've had four (yes you read that right) ectopics. The first two happened before my hypothyroid diagnosis so they ended naturally as my body couldn't handle the pregnancies. Once I got the hypothyroidism under control I conceived quickly. In January this year I had a ruptured ectopic that needed emergency surgery. Right tube was removed. Last week I had my second surgery where my left tube as removed. We have 1 DD and desperately want more. We're moving on to IVF now. Still a bit numb.

tuckingfits Wed 23-Jul-14 00:18:37

I can't really help with taking your mind off it tricks. My days still pass in a blur of small children needing me. I spend a large proportion of the day preparing food, feeding them and crawling about picking it up off the floor, changing nappies, hoping they will both nap together so I can have an hour or so to myself. It doesn't happen. The baby has taken 3.5 hours to go to sleep tonight, refused to be put down even when she had been asleep on me for ages. I'm finding myself increasingly frustrated & short tempered & then feeling terribly guilty. The rest of my time is spent trying to pump enough to keep my dying milk supply up. I'm feeling doomed, it's dwindling sway to nothing & I'm not going to attempt to get her back in the breast until day 7 (Saturday) when I know if it has worked. I can't imagine anything worse than getting her feeding again & then having to whip it away again. I have an infant feeding person coming to see us next Monday, who will help us get her back on if I haven't managed over the weekend. I don't think she will, but I'm going to give it a good go.

I hope you're feeling alright. I have no idea whether it has worked this time or not, I just assumed it would work the first time, now I'm making no assumptions, it's too awful when it hasn't.

DP is at work all day (self-employed joiner, v busy) so I just have to get on with it. I expect it'll all hit me in stages once it's over. Right now I am just keeping going for the children because I have no idea what's around the corner that might mean I really need to fall apart. If that makes any sense.

Beesandbutterflies Tue 22-Jul-14 16:20:09

Also trying to think of fun things to distract myself from all this horrid ness, except we have no annual leave left for a holiday and we can't move house and dh has Vito'd any new pets confused
What are you doing to take your mind off it?

Beesandbutterflies Tue 22-Jul-14 16:16:35

I have in my head this won't work, at every point we've been the worst case scanario minority, so I'm thinking I might elect for surgery if this one doesn't work. The waiting is awful.

Beesandbutterflies Tue 22-Jul-14 16:08:57

How are you?

Beesandbutterflies Tue 22-Jul-14 16:08:39

Hi,
I'm very sad today to be honest an very angry about how I was spoken to at the hospital. I don't think I can face surgery there with those horrible nurses if it comes to it hmm

tuckingfits Tue 22-Jul-14 15:20:20

It is a shit situation. How are you feeling today?

Beesandbutterflies Mon 21-Jul-14 11:02:07

Hello, thank you for the info. I've had the injection, just praying it works, this is such as bit situation

tuckingfits Mon 21-Jul-14 02:27:01

Dunno why I put paracetamol on brackets, can't remember but it shouldn't be!

tuckingfits Mon 21-Jul-14 02:25:40

Hi bees. I can't fully answer your questions but I'll tell you what I can.

You'll be seen by a doctor who will talk you through the risks involved in having the injection & why they are managing you "expectorantly" or expectantly since I don't think that other one is a word.

You & the doctor will sign a consent form to say that the risks have been explained & any questions you have have been answered. Then you'll get the injection. I had to lie down on my side & had it in my buttock. The first one didn't hurt, the second one did a bit but not badly. If you wriggle your toes while they are doing it, I found it helped.

They will explain not to take NSAID painkillers like ibuprofen (paracetamol) is fine, not the same family of drug. They'll tell you not to drink alcohol & not to take anything like pre-natal vitamins as they contain folate which can interfere with what the methotrexate is working to achieve.

After the injection I think they are supposed to keep you for 20 mins or so to observe you & make sure no adverse reaction. I was let home immediately after 1st shot because I had been kept hanging about all day & had a distressed baby at home I needed to see. Second one they kept me for 30 mins & gave me a sandwich.

I am exhausted, I'm sure it's a combination of injection, early pregnancy hormones (bastards) & a still distressed & not sleeping baby plus a very badly behaved at the moment 3.5 year old boy. Why am I not asleep?! You'll be told to take it easy, yeah right. The EPT leaflet that you will be given, or already have will explain a lot more than I have & I have to say their website is very informative. I've only had a quick look today but will go back.

You are not supposed to do exercise more than gentle walking, no housework (again, yeah, right), no alcohol, no ibuprofen, take it as easy as you can. I started bleeding on day 4, it's lightened up now but still some. I had a night of period like cramping last night after second dose. Nothing awful & I think I had a pain I would hope was detachment of the pregnancy, but only time will tell.

I haven't had another scan, I asked about it on the day of second injection but they don't think it would show anything... I can't say I'm over the moon with that weak explanation but they know best.

I have been told by every medical person I asked that I couldn't feed for 4 days and because the drug could affect my daughter's cells in her eggs and liver function etc I chose to err on the side of caution. There is no evidence of the drug showing in breastmilk at any stage, but they are so cautious about it that I decided (not that there was any contest in my mind actually) to be as safe as I could, thus no feeding. I have pumped & dumped. My supply is now dwindling despite pumping as often as I can possibly find time to. I'm making lactation cookies tomorrow, it would have been tonight but poor milk less baby wouldn't sleep til 1am so I wasn't prepared to start faffing with unfamiliar ingredients at that stage.

I hope I've covered everything & that it gives you some idea of what is to come, the injection seriously isn't that bad. I can't comment on what level of pain (if any) to experience as it does its thang because I didn't have any pain after first dose & it didn't work. So I'm not the best person to ask. I suspect it really varies woman to woman.

Best wishes for later today, I hope your doctor puts you at ease & that it works well for you. They will take blood on day 4 - don't panic if the level has gone up, they expect it to peak on day 4 & then come down. Somehow I didn't take that info in & died a bit when they told me it had risen - before I heard the words "but that's to be expected". They expect a 15% drop between day 4&7.

Lots of love to you. Do you have support for all you're dealing with?xx

TerrysNo2 Sun 20-Jul-14 23:26:06

bees I'm really sorry that I can't answer your questions, why don't you visit the ectopic pregnancy trust talk forums here as they always have someone who works for them who monitors the forums to answer. http://www.ectopic.org.uk/talk/

good luck!

Beesandbutterflies Sat 19-Jul-14 18:06:54

Also did they say no breastfeeding for 3 days, no one at the hospital seems to know here!

Beesandbutterflies Sat 19-Jul-14 17:53:50

For those that had the injection, can you tell me what it involved? They said about seeing a dr and I'm freaking out and what risks did they tell you? Also did you have to have anymore scans?
Thanks

Beesandbutterflies Sat 19-Jul-14 16:06:26

Apparently no running, no sex shock
They want to do the injection on Monday hmm

TerrysNo2 Sat 19-Jul-14 14:37:44

bees sorry the hospital are being rubbish. sad I must say that where I went (Stoke Mandeville) they were excellent. I think the injection doesn't stop you doing anything really, maybe just take it easy but I'm not allowed to run for 2 weeks. You really should call the ectopic pregnancy trust if you're not getting good support from the hospital.

It's my birthday today and trying to take my mind of things with a BBQ, so far so good! smile

Beesandbutterflies Sat 19-Jul-14 09:09:48

Terry I hope you are recovering ok from your op. It is all totally shite isn't it?! hmm

I'm desperate to go running is that allowed?
Also my dh is working Monday onwards and then I'll be alone with the toddler, is that ok?
I've been given no info at all, off the the ectopic pregnancy trust to seek info

Beesandbutterflies Sat 19-Jul-14 09:06:01

Oh tucking I'm so sorry you're having to have a second one, they're going to tell me today what the plan is after another bt. I think the injection sounds like a good option looking at it. The breastfeeding is also freaking me out, my baby is 21m though and this morning we had milky and I said mummy might have to stop milky for a few days because I'm poorly hmm Hoping it'll be okay an that she can just about understand, worth a go. I'm go analytical amadillo so I'll heck that out.
I also donated milk and think it's rubbish you're not eligible hmmhmm
This is such a shit situation, I have no risk factors and I'm so healthy, it's all so wrong confused
The hospital have been totally shit so far, the missed it last week as said PUL then refused to see me for a week despite me calling 3 times saying I'm in pain and worried about an ectopic.
I'm going to put in a complaint when all this is over. Yesterday they just whispered to each other and then put me in a side room alone with a fact sheet about Ep and left me there.
And I screamed and sobbed through the internal scan she was so rough

TerrysNo2 Sat 19-Jul-14 08:52:52

tucking sorry you have to have another injection, that sucks. It sounds like you are totally up to speed on the whole BF thing and know all the right places to go for help, Kellymom is a brilliant site.

Do not feel guilty about being clinical about the ectopic, although do be prepared for waves of emotion that hit you at random times, like walking to school!

bees really sorry you are going through this too, if you need any help making decisions or just information, the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust website is really good and they have phone advisors who you can talk to. Good luck.

tuckingfits Sat 19-Jul-14 00:26:07

Ah bees I'm so sorry you're going through this too. I've done all the things I can think of. If you're on fb, I've posted to the Analytical Armadillo page & had good advice from there too.

Unfortunately I found out today that the first injection hasn't worked. I have to go back tomorrow for a second. I'm so wrung out at this point that I can't say anything more except that my wonderful wonderful neighbour has offered me her freezer stash of milk. We don't know each other that well, but I will never forget her rescue in our time of need. I pursued the donor milk route but was turned down because "there's not health benefit to the baby, she would need to be ill at this age to qualify". Well basically I'm ill, so I am very disappointed especially as I donated in the past. I understand that her need isn't as great as a premie or newborn, but if all she will drink is bm & that's supposed to be her main source of nutrition until 1 year old, surely she qualifies. Whatfuckingever. Can't even get pissed to block it all out.

I'll be back in a better frame of mind tomorrow.

bees check out the Analytical Armadillo page on fb & also kellymom has lots of info on keeping supply up & getting (non-stubborn, ulcered mouthed) babies back on the boob. I wish you all the best & don't worry about the injection, it didn't hurt at all. I was astonished.xx

Beesandbutterflies Fri 18-Jul-14 23:59:45

Tucking my heart goes out to you, I'm also breastfeeding and diagnosed with an ectopic, I'm worried about having to stop too if they recommend the injection. Have you tried taking a bath together? Skin to skin and cuddles? Xx

tuckingfits Fri 18-Jul-14 02:02:57

It's still not happening. She's taken some more from a cup though so hopefully can keep her hydrated with that. What I thought was a tooth appears to be a couple of tiny ulcers where she's been rubbing her bottom tooth against the gum, no wonder she doesn't want to suck.

I don't know how you feel about having started bleeding, I started a couple of days ago again, first post-injection & I feel relieved. Back to hospital tomorrow for more blood tests & hopefully by the afternoon I'll know that things are heading in the right direction.

I feel as though I should be apologetic for my coldness towards the situation, but I hope it's ok in here that I'm not.

I do hope your "clear out" isn't distressing for you & that it's over soon. Much love coming your way.

TerrysNo2 Fri 18-Jul-14 00:12:57

tucking I started passing some clots today, I guess it's the clear out from the surgery. How is BF going today?

tuckingfits Thu 17-Jul-14 13:27:24

Thanks terrys. I know what you mean, I feel so angry & cheated that I seemed to have had a "normal miscarriage" and then all this shite on top. It's just so shit.

I'm sorry for your losses & I hope recovery goes smoothly for you.xx

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