anyone menopausal with very young children

[oxfordcomma75]

I am 45 and I have just had blood tests which confirm I am well and truly menopausal.
I have a 20month old and it just seems so unfair.
I a shattered and think I may need Hrt
Any tips or advice or just shared experience appreciated.
Thank you

[esther39]

Hello
I have 4 children, my youngest is 7. I'm just 39 and going through the menopause. It began when i was 34, so my children were all young. I am also very depressed about it as i was hoping to have a baby with my new husband who has no children.
This past year iv'e been having lots of menopausal symptoms and i'm now into my 4th month of HRT which seems to be helping with some of my symptoms.
I agree with you, it is so unfair x

[Rockdoctor]

Hello. No real advice but I am 49 with DCs aged 6 and 4. I haven't had blood tests but my age and symptoms suggest well and truly menopausal also. Have been to my GP numerous times and so far the most effective thing has been going back on the combined contraceptive pill - there's one called Qlaira that is supposed to be designed for us perimenopausal types. It has helped with the insomnia and hot flushes but I still get terrible PMT so am considering switching to full on HRT. I'm also trying to do some of the lifestyle things (more exercise, no alcohol, no caffeine). On the plus side at least I will be through this by the time they are teenagers

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

Mine started years ago (I am now 45) and have been on Climagest since I stopped taking the pill at about 36. The doctor said that because it was a premature menopause I should take a form of HRt which gives you periods effectively to avoid a risk of ovarian/uterine cancer (I forget which). I think I might be able take a different form from 50 when it would be normal to have less oestrogen in your body. There are osteoporosis risks from low levels of oestrogen at a younger age. As you are already 45, this may not be such an issue for you btw.

Early menopause is an absolute shit by the way, I agree. Mine is probably due to chemo I hadin my early 20s which they didn't know then gave some women an early menopause. Just bad luck.

I have a 4 year old by the way but would have ideally liked more children. Obviously there are ways to have children if you want more but they are by no means straightforward.

HRT is not as bad as it sounds though. For me it is little different to all the years I wad on the pill. There are natural and synthetic forms on the market and my doc recommended natural but I think either are fine and it no doubt depends onyour specific ssituation.

Sending flowers though . Be kind to yourself. It is a shock nut you won't start feeling older over night or anything (as I worried).

[thekingfisher]

i have no direct experience but having recently had a hysterectomy (whilst leaving the ovaries) I am likely to start menopause earlier than would be usual ( I am just 40)

I was directed from here to Prof John Studd's website. I had a really good read through it and gained a lot of information to be prepared so to speak.

I would suggest having a good look at it as well as other reading you can do as imo many of the Gp's are frankly fairly clueless about the subtleties of fluctuating hormone impact on women.

HTH

[Esmum07]

I had DS when I was 44 so knew he would probably be our first and last - he is an IVF baby and we were on our last cycle with only 3 eggs when he was conceived.

I began getting perimenopausal symptoms when I was 47. My mood swings were awful for about two years, sleep was a nightmare and I would be fully awake at 2am, pacing the floor which didn't help. Added to that my face broke out in acne. Literally two or three pimples on my chin every day, by then end of a year trying facials, acne stuff etc with my chin so sore I couldn't wear polo necks in the winter as the spots would bleed, I got antibiotics from my doctor. Periods were on and off all over the place.

Then two years ago this month I had my last period. My skin healed up, not a pimple since. My moods are pretty static now - DS told me he likes this mum better which is sad but great if you know what I mean. DH says he has his old wife back (we were very close to the edge I think). If I had recognised the correlation between my moods and all the other stuff I would have seen the doctor. Luckily I am now in the menopause, feel better than I have done for five years no hot flushes and sleep like a log most nights, though I have the odd wakeful night when I have eaten late. I recognise that now so I adjust my meal times. My hair is glossy, though it is thinning a little an my energy levels are stable ish, though I am knackered with a now seven year old by the time the weekend comes. But I am kinder to myself. I will rest if I need to, things can wait, so I have energy for my boy.

It feels like a fog has been lifted.

It will come to an end, all this shitty stuff, but get some medical help if you need it. I was lucky, the menopause came in just in time to save my relationship with my DH and DS.

I honestly wish the menopause had arrived earlier. The pre menopause was not nice for me and the full blown menopause is great so far!

[Rockdoctor]

Esmum07 your experience sounds so much like what I'm going through now. I'm glad to hear things get better. I have to admit it's the mood swings that I am finding hardest - and I think, to address the OPs original point, this is what affects my young DCs and DH the most. I had hoped that sorting sleep out would help, and it has a bit, but I think I need to go back to my GP and look at alternatives. The problem is, when I feel good, I feel great so I get into a mindset of not doing anything about it and then suddenly my mind swings the other way and I am too tired/depressed to bother.

[Esmum07]

That is exactly what I was going through with my moods. Now I am back on a (relatively) even keel I can see how that wasn't good. Really no good. No one should be walking on eggshells in their home and DH has admitted that he hated the thought of coming home sometimes as he didn't know what would trigger a meltdown in me. I would get an appointment to see the GP - it is the advice I would have given myself looking back two years.

Good luck. It will get better!

[Erin444]

Hi are there any mum s in peri or menopause with toddlers ?
Fine one day , monster the nxt 😔. Taking HRT
Tired alot. Know it ll pass finding it tough when my 30mth old is having a tantrum.
Not her fault , I know.

[fluffy71]

I’m 51 with a 4 yr old. Since Feb I’ve had 4 periods but horrific PMT. Joints ache so much so this is probably the start of it. I sympathise. I’ve found also I can’t drink alcohol, it plays havoc with my moods

[MrsPalfrey6473647]

Hi are there any mum s in peri or menopause with toddlers ?
Fine one day , monster the nxt 😔.

Yes, I have been in this situation (peri-menopause) - my youngest is about to start school next week. It has been so difficult, I've had to dig deep as my patience has been limited and I've been prone to irritability. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, it really has been a difficult time.

I know of people going through this who although now have teenage dc, are having to cope with the demands of work and looking after older and frail parents. I'm not in this situation and I know I would struggle with this too if I were.

Pretty sure I will be heading into the menopause soon. I have 3 dc of various ages 5-17. By far the hardest age has been the youngest because of the sheer physical energy required (also prone to tiredness, brain fog insomnia and joint aches) and what (seems like) constant demands as I am a sahm with no support other than dh who works full-time. Eldest has some understanding as female and experiences hormonal fluctuations. Unable to take HRT.

Positive to hear the actual menopause has been a better experience for some. I keep thinking this month will be my last period (I've had some horrendous heavy ones and had to have scans/biopsys) and became iron deficient at one point. I now have a longer lasting lighter one and periods are definitely erratic.

Watching this thread with interest.

[Bananalanacake]

I'm 45 with an 8 and a 5 year old. Not sure if I'm at menopause but I'm tired and hot all the time, though that could be the weather.

[WarriorN]

Yes, started hrt at 44 with a then 3 yr old.

It's been really tough. I suspect I was mildly so after my eldest too in my late 30s. Joint issues and fatigue. Insomnia, brain fog etc. prior to hrt (I still had fairly regular periods) it was tbe rage that was hardest. Gut issues too - slightly histamine related.

Hrt helped a lot at first but I've since spiralled down and bloods showed oestrogen was too low for bones a few months ago despite 50 patch. Still had symptoms on a 75 so slowly going up to a 100.

I do remember just before hrt really struggling with any caring feelings. That's improved hugely.

[WarriorN]

I was still bf my then 3 yr old. It all got a lot worse when we stopped. Later found out bf keeps your ovaries ticking over though can lower oestrogen a bit. I think the oxytocin helps too. Transdermal Hrt is fine if you are bf, I found out far too late.