What megonthemoon said is absolutely spot on. The best post on this thread. Please please don't take on anymore until new baby is, god, I don't know, older than mine is now anyway... Maybe a year? You could manage a year, couldn't you? So much will change in that time.

Hey, he might even grow a spine and sort out the roof on his children's home... Hnh.

Like everyone has said absolute bullshit about the benefits. Find the number in the phone book and claim Income Support tomorrow request backdating to date of seperation too. Make a new claim to tax credits and also apply for a Maternity grant from SF.

can't advise on the mortgage side of things but you the CAB woman is talking out of her bum!

re HB - you can have the interest paid on your mortgage thru HB but not the main loan as it were. I assume all you will need is a letter from your XH to confirm he isn't living in the property any more.

they will also change your council tax status, & you can apply for council tax benefits.

contact tax credits - for one DE you should recieve approx £50 per week. (make sure you have it weekly as well, and your CB can also be weekly as well) HB is fortnightly. (but it helps me to have weekly money to 'live on'

have you sorted out maintenance money yet? that is not included as income when it comes to HB/TC'S but is when it comes to IS.

you can claim for IS as a separated person (I did for a year) you don't have to go thru the CSA maint. if you choose not to - all I had to do was provide a letter from XH to say he agreed to pay X amount each month & that amount was deducted from my IS. (basically you're allowed £60 p.w to 'live' if you have maintenance oyu get to keep £20 of that and the rest is deducted from your IS, example my maint. was at the time £46 p.w, I could keep £20 so they deducted £26 from the £60 I was allowed and paid me the rest. iycwim) this also was paid weekly into my bank.

agree thou you shouldn't leave he should.

Hi,

Although i wasn't married i had a v similar situation when my ex decided i would be the one to move out with 20mnth old child, while he stayed in the house....

I looked into it re housing benefit, and if the house is on the market and you move out and can give them proof (solicitors letter) that you are attempting to gain your share of the equity then you are fine to get housing benefit.

I applied immediately for tax credits/council tax reduction etc.

I also saw a solicitor and got advice on my rights.

Long and short of it is that me and DD are in the house while its up for sale, he is in a crummy rented room somewhere, and its been agreed that i will get the bulk of the equity when this place is sold. Ex also pays half the mortgage.

There is a lot out there to protect you, especially as you are married to him.

Please don't be bullied into moving. I looked for places to rent that i could afford and believe me its not easy, there is no reason whyt he can't stay elsewhere. At the moment you and your children are the priority

I'll take a look. Might be a bit too far!

I'm 20 mins south from Victoria...

DH is working in north london but we're happy to travel. DS seems to enjoy it.

How far out of London are you?

Believe me I'm in no hurry. I dont plan on leaving until I'm good and ready.

CM- I have to admit the thought of going into town right now is filling me with dread...but I did keep Thursday free to see you. Will have a think about what might be good to do that doesn't involve much hassle from either end...whereabouts will you be?

oh turtle, I'm sorry things are getting worse.

Can you try to find a solicitor that will give you half an hour free? Jobcentre sounds like a good plan too.

My only experience of this is through SIL who stayed in the family home, but she did get extra benefits as soon as my brother had left her.

I'm around later this week and we can always meet up somewhere near to you if that is easier. (DS seems to love being on the tube/trains!)

turtle - maybe long term you need to look at renting somewhere more suitable for you and the boys, but at the moment you do not need that stress. You absolutely must stay put until DS2 arrives and until you are recovered from the birth and he is big enough to be feeding more regularly, sleeping a bit more and time for P to be completely settled with his new brother. I think you should make it very clear to DH that you are in the flat until at least late spring next year at the earliest unless he does all the legwork to find you somewhere with safe bedrooms, garden etc. and that he is going to have to stay with mates or find somewhere else temporarily if he doesn't do that. Put this ball in his court, turtle - you are doing everything else in this relationship, including giving birth in a few weeks time (I get the impression that he may have forgotten that...)